Evil
by Yugicanbesexy
Summary: Merlin and Morgana's relationship was never going to be easy. But when a person who you love is put on this earth solely to be your enemy. It's down right impossible. Involves: sexual reference, violent and overrall depressing plot. All the things we love
1. My Heart Trembles

Evil

Prologue: My Heart Trembles

Morgana ran through the long grass her raggedy dress catching on various twigs, rocks, mud and teeth the swamp provided.

Her white wrists that once held only the thin metal of bangles and bracelets, where now wrapped around chunky rusty chains that had been cut loose.

Her long beautiful hair once ebony brushed until it shone was now dirty wet covered in mud and leaves. Her bare feet squished in the mud she had to get away.

She had to get away.

A stitch was growling in her stomach, her breath was rubbing her throat and longs dry and her feet where creaking with every stride.

But that didn't stop the anger and the determination in her heart. The need for love and safety in her frantic mind.

But there was one more feeling.

A feeling that could call her angers fire. That could smooth her determination flat. It would enflame her need for safety until it was ashes. It would even wash away the love bites that she had acquired three days ago from the love her life into nothing.

What is this feeling? I hear you ask.

This feeling I hope you will never meet or feel:

Fear…

Or Uther as Morgana now calls it…

She closed her eyes tears running down her face as she carried on running.

The barks of dogs where snapping at her ears and feet.

The torch light was following like her sun that was setting. Fast.

She then tripped she let out a wail as she fell, she tried with every fibre of her being to rise again. But her legs had given up.

She laid down on her front her ankle twisted. She looked up and saw the lights of Camelot in the distance.

Home.

She let out a shriek of frustration, despair and sorrow.

She heard the feet of the men she feared most running towards her with swords, arrows, whips and many other cruel devises she had encountered.

She laid her head down on the week mud and grass her eye's tears falling slowly.

She had been so close.

She had nearly escaped.

She had nearly been free.

Free from…

_The Prophecy _

She breathed out through her mouth chocking on grass, water and her sorrow.

'I'm sorry Merlin' was all she could think and mouth as the demons (in men and dog form) where inches from her.

'_I'm Sorry Merlin. I'm So Sorry."_

~::~

WHAT DO YOU THINK SHOULD I CONTINUE?

PLEASE REVIEW AND TELL ME!


	2. Part One: Fire And Water

Evil

Prologue: Fire And Water

She had started with Fire.

Her first nightmare, her first painful supressed memory, her first fear.

The night she saw her father murdered before her eyes.

She had been so young, she must have been six, maybe seven, no nine, ten? it was quite hard to remember. All she could remember was the fire.

It was late at night; for once her father had been at home he usually was out on business or conducting various love affairs with younger women to be at home with his small daughter. She didn't remember the day; it must have been a good day though.

Every now and then she remembered in her dreams, a younger version of herself the small carefree little brat she had once been. She vaguely remembered riding with her father on her small white horse after him, or when she was in a big brown room her long stringy hair combed up into a plate sitting at the foot of a big bed playing with her wooden animals and Ducky. Had she been afraid of her own father?

You need to know someone to be truly at ease with them.

She had been sleeping in her bed when the fire arose. It wasn't the fire that had killed her father.

The fire was a mere symbol.

A symbol of her past?

Of her anger?

Or of her future?

She did not know.

But her father was killed by men. Soccer's to be exact.

She had woken up to feel her lungs chocking on something, something vile, something black, something bad. She looked around and her home was on fire. She could hear servants trying to put out the fire or trying to save their own skins. No one cared about the little girl sleeping in her room.

Like an idiot she panicked, she dove under the bed trying to save her skin while the room was set to burn at any point. Her door was opened a few times but she did not heed it, she idiotically stayed put and silent; while they glanced around before running.

At last she must have been the last one left in that house. At last she managed to pluck up the courage to run to the door, she tried to grab the door handle but it burned her palms. She shrieked out a cry and tried again this time managing to open the door.

Flames burst into the room; she screamed and resumed her position under the bed. At last she heard someone call her name. Her father. He ran into her room looking for her, he wasn't an idiot though and looked under the bed, he reached out to grab her but then another call ripped through the air this time after her father.

Her father immediately forgot about her and tried to run to the door only to be blocked by three figures in red hoods. She stared at the two figures her lungs still chocking on the smoke, she seemed to be the only person to notice the fire in opposite door way, and the thick black smoke that filled the air, for the four men stood silently staring at each other.

At last her father tried to run away, but the three men both grabbed him,

And stabbed him,

Tore his flesh,

Killed him.

All this time Morgana was under her bed staring wide eyed at the murders preying that they wouldn't find her.

This was when she usually awoke.

~::~

He had started with water.

He sat in the back of a cart, the heavens were falling onto him, he sniffed his eyes watery like the weather. He tugged the cape which was around his slim frame tighter around his body. The land around him was dark and new. He had never been this far away from his village before and he doubt he could ever return.

His mother was dead.

He sniffed louder, tears dissolving in the rain.

His entire village had been raided, there had been a rumour that someone with magic was living there, two days ago the home guard had arrived, and they fought and searched with everyone trying to see who the traitor was.

It was him.

His mother had sacrificed herself to save him, she had confessed to being the one who was magic, to save her son and to save the rest of her village. It had worked, but she couldn't have known that the knights would have run her through.

Merlin was in the room, he had run in when he had seen his older brother killed by two nights in the rain. He had run into the house to see his mother cornered by a knight. Merlin had screamed at his mother for help. She barley looked at him; her entire sight consisted of the knight. He was shouting at her to tell him who the magical being was.

Merlin had screamed at his mother again to get her attention; he was sopping wet with the rain and splattered with his brother's blood. His mother blinked a Merlin for a second before whispering:

"Do you promise to leave straight away?"

The knight grunted but nodded his head.

Her eyes flashed to her youngest son before whispering "it's me. I'm the magical being. You can take me away where I can stand trial." Her words wobbled but her tone remained steady.

The knight smirked as if she had said something funny. He ran her through with his sword.

Merlin's mother doubled over she rippled with movement for a second and then she was gone.

Merlin screamed his mouth wide and his eyes wide.

The knight turned to him before walking over to Merlin. His sword shone in the dark room. "How old are you?" he asked.

Merlin could not speak.

"HOW OLD ARE YOU" he shouted grabbing Merlin by the scruff of the neck and slamming him across the wall.

Merlin screamed "five!"

The knight nodded "Is that your mother?"

Merlin nodded again.

That was how Merlin made his way to Camelot; the knight had taken him to work in Camelot with the rest of the orphans of the village. Merlin was by far the youngest. He sat away from the group dripping in the rain; the castle was just about coming out of the fog of the rain.

Before they came to the gates though, they saw an older man walking out with a lantern. The man had long white hair and was wearing a dark blue robe which was spotted by the rain drops.

The knights stopped on their horses and so did the wagons which the children where on. The older man approached the group before one of the knights jumped off their horses. "Giaus" smirked the one who had murdered Merlin's mother "we are all healthy, there were no casualties."

"No, no, no! I was not interested in you" Giaus called over the rain, "I wanted to see to the children."

The knights shrugged before jumping off their horses to help Giaus. Not all of the children were badly hurt but Giaus helped to calm them down and sort them out into two groups of male and female, before sending them off to the castle gates with a group of woman who had accompanied him.

When he came to Merlin he began to tend to Merlin's bruises, but when he looked at Merlin straight in the eye he saw something. Nothing the untrained eye could see but to Giaus he saw something big, something deep. Something magic.

Giaus looked at the guards who had surrounded the two; he then looked at Merlin again his mind going through the risks and options he had before him. He then patted Merlin's shoulder "I'll take this one on as an apprentice."

Merlin blinked up at the man as he was lead through the mud and the rain to the small druid's hut. His mind was loaded with questions which he proceeded to babble to Giaus. Giaus didn't say a word until asking him one thing "boy, are you magic?"

Merlin blinked at the blunt question before confirming "ever since I was little I was able to move things without touching them, cure people by just looking at them and be able to jump incredibly high."

The old man considered this new information before asking "do you know how you do this?"

Merlin shook his head.

"Nobody taught you?"

Merlin shook his head again.

"I will keep you safe, get you a job and teach you how to control this magic you hold" Giaus muttered nodding "I could do with a new apprentice."

Merlin nodded still in a daze on what had just happened.

~::~

As Merlin lay his new and uncomfortable bed.

As Morgana lay in her new and uncomfortable bed.

They thought they heard something.

They both walked to their window.

For some reason he looked up.

And for some reason she looked down.

He saw a dark haired girl in the night sky.

She saw a dark haired boy in the dark shadows.

He smiled at her.

She smiled back at him.

They exchanged a small look and then at the same moment.

They walked away back to their new and uncomfortable bed.

And then they fell asleep.

He dreamt of a dark haired girl in his window.

And she dreamt of a dark hair boy in her room.

(A/N OKAY! OKAY! ENOUGH WITH THE PROLOGUE ON WITH THE ACTUAL CHAPTERS!)


	3. You Help Me I Help You

Evil

Chapter One: You Help Me I Help You

She was carried into the huge out of order windmill, the roof leaked, and the light leaked from a small flame of a tiny candle. The old woman who had found her on the field had carried her into a windmill, maybe she knew of the woman's identity and the infamous rumours about her. Or maybe her clouded beady eyes had seen their last spark.

The witch stirred awake and forced herself into a sitting up position, her enormous belly prevented her from obtaining the respect and fear from the old crone who sat a few meters from her. She at last flopped down exhausted; her body was still pulsing from her race with fate.

She looked at the old crone once again. The old woman seemed to be in her later years of fifty, her face was like an the old prune she was, her long stringy grey hair reminded her of Giaus', she held none of Giaus' kindness in her huge body of fat and flesh, she looked more like a vulture. The witch sighed looking to the leaky ceiling; she had been saved because of her raggedy dress and faded jewels.

Had England stooped so low that old women would wait for the death of a heavily pregnant woman and her unborn child, so she could get her fat hands on her dress and money? She tutted to herself: of course it had, the great Uther Pendragon was still on the thrown and as his day of death grew closer his mind became more irrational.

A small contraction brought her back to her senses she tried to get up. Meeting place. Large tree. Meet Merlin. Have baby. Run away. A small bead of sweat went down her forehead as she tried to push her massive bulk into commanding her orders. She fell down with a growl of frustration. Her body was no longer hers. It was ruled by another now.

The old crow let out a small cackle, at the witch's troubles, "well, well, well, Morgana Le Fey, ye seem to be in a spot of bother.

Morgana turned her head around to look at the woman, only one know referred to her as Morgana. At the most time she was called "witch", "bitch", "criminal", "abomination"…"Evil" .Another contraction went through her but alike from the other one there was no pain. She didn't feel pain unless she could retaliate forth with.

"I wonder if your body has any notion to do something as natural as giving birth."

Morgana again gave the old woman silence.

"What's the matter? Cat got ye tongue? Or has junior over their got ye-"

"My voice works quite fine. Thank you." She managed to say in a monotone, refusing to let this woman dare to get the upper hand with her.

The woman let out her second toothy laugh. "Why those men out looking for ye?"

Morgana looked out of the shattered window and gasped: they were still looking for her, and the sun had well and truly set. She had to go. Find Merlin. Not get caught. Not now. Not here…

She managed to swing herself off of the bed; she was a few feet away from the door when her waters finally broke. Damn it all! Why did this baby have its mother's bad timing?

She pressed her back against the wall breathing hard, trying to get her composure back. She tried again to move but her joints were suck, she couldn't move. She felt something take her arm and try to take her back to the bed. She wrenched her arm away. She would not get help from this old bag, especially not in this state.

"What's the hurry? We have plenty of time until someone finds us."

"Yes but who? It all depends on whom" the witch murmured through gritted teeth as she collapsed onto the bed, it was the only thing she could do.

"Well I take it you don't want that lot outside getting your hands on your flesh. And you defiantly don't want mine. So whose? The father of that wee child?"

Morgana looked away.

"A brother? A sister? Or a good relative to stick their thumb out to find you?"

Morgana didn't turn.

"I would say a friend, but. You. Don't. Have. Friends. Do ye?"

Morgana looked away "someone is coming. For me."

"And the babe?"

"Yes."

She replied simply not wanting to go into too much detail. The Morgana she used to be didn't give away vital information to complete strangers but that was before Uther had broken her spirit.

She sat back she had to do something. She closed her eyes as another contraction waved over her; she patted her giant gut that was pulsing. When had this huge mess started? A tear went down her face.

~##~

Morgana turned to look out of the window, Merlin…What if he got captured instead of her…She couldn't make him go through that sort of torture again…She sat up trying to get her bearings but the old crone forced her back down.

"You're nearly out dearie…It won't be long now…"

Long before what?

Those low lives catching her?

Merlin getting captured and killed in her place?

She gave birth? She didn't feel any pain.

Merlin finding her?

She wished. She always had the concept of bad timing. That would be a streak in her life that will never stop.


	4. Green Eyes Black Hair Blue Eyes

Evil

~##~ = travelling through time/years.

~::~ = Going to a new character/place or a few minutes/hours later

Chapter Two: Green Eyes, Black Hair, Blue Eyes

Morgana looked out the window. The old crone seemed to have fallen asleep. Good she wanted some privacy. She felt a small wave of despair. She had hoped and prayed this would be the last time she'd be with Merlin before….

She looked down a little depressed. What was she to do…? Cry? Witches did not cry.

She looked down a little to her gut. It was bigger than ever, she sighed a little. What could she do? She couldn't run away, she couldn't stay here. It was like she was a prisoner without the chain.

Le Fey looked out of the window, she smiled a little remembering how she and Merlin became friends.

~##~

Morgana Le fey, she liked that. Her young trivial eight year old mind, as small and restrained as it was, was starting to make decisions.

As Morgana walked down the corridor giggling with Gwen as they made their way to the woods, she felt like she was forever restrained. And never free.

They had been talking about a lot of things; they had grown close in the past three years after her arrival after her father's death.

It had been three years since the drowning of the magic. Uther had done several more attacks on the magic and it was obvious that he wanted war.

Three years ago Arthur got a new servant: Merlin.

She had to admit she didn't think much of Merlin at this point in time. He was in Giaus' care in his home running errands for the old man and waiting on Arthur hand and foot, so she didn't see much of him. He had a slow quiet way that just didn't interest her.

But that was then and this is now. And now he was her world. But it is still then.

And now she was walking with Gwen laughing and giggling about the most insignificant thing.

Arthur was in the court yard using his latest new toy (a spear) on poor Merlin who was trying to spare a whacking by holding up a shield.

"Can't we talk about this?"

"Sorry Merlin I'm training."

"Has this got anything to do with the fact that I was three seconds late for polishing your armour this morning?"

"Well Merlin how should I tell you this?...If I don't discipline my staff they'll forget their place." 

"…But I thought we were friends."

"Arthur, didn't you ever hear the proverb… "A servant who is well and alive can polish armour well, a servant who is ill can polish armour slowly and clumsily, a servant who is dead cannot polish armour at all." Morgana crowed to the two boys 'training'.

Arthur turned to glare at his adoptive sister. Whereas Merlin held a blush on his cheeks and nose trying not to.

"Leave Morgana, this is Man work" Arthur glared at Morgana.

"Man work? Hah! Don't forget Arthur I have seen you wet the bed, and I have defeated you enough times to forget the proverb: a wife's place is in the home, a princess place is in the bed, a queen's place is in the corner, a girl's place is in the-"

"Just shut up about the proverbs!" snarled Arthur, "I am twice the warrior that you'll ever be!"

"*scoff*."

"FINE! Whoever can knock Merlin to the ground fastest wins!"

"WHAT!" shouted Merlin; he held the shield up just in time when Arthur's sword went smashing down on him.

It took five minutes until Merlin lost his footing and fell on his back.

"Beat that!" crowed Arthur beside himself.

Morgana let go of Gwen's arm and walked over to Merlin hauling him up and handing him the shield and snatched the sword off of Arthur.

She walked around Merlin making poor Merlin feel very exposed.

She grabbed Merlin's lips and placed a kiss on them.

The kiss only lasted a few seconds but as soon as she took her face away Merlin wobbled. She gave him a small shove and he fell straight on his back.

Rain began to fall as Morgana went back to Gwen giggling as they walked straight to the castle.

Arthur kicked Merlin in the side snarling as he picked up his sword and shield. "You did that on purpose" he spat before he walked back into the castle.

Merlin lay on the ground feeling the rain hit his face and body a small blush creeping on his forehead.

"MERLIN!" Shouted Gaius as he walked in the storm looking for Merlin.

"Merlin there you are" he snapped picking him up. He had to do this several times because the boy seemed to be in a daze.

"Merlin there is wood to be chopped, spells to be practised, shields to fix, armour to be polished, water to be boiled, medicine to brew, and for god's sake try to stand on your own two feet!"

Gaius walked back into his hut leaving Merlin out in the rain.

Merlin stood there for a few minutes more now drenched in the rain…

"YES! WOW!" he suddenly shrieked at the top of his lungs to the sky. "THANK YOU!"He shrieked his face looking up at the sky.

~::~

Merlin was having his day off, it was the next day after the kiss and he had hardly slept a wink of sleep.

He was so head over heels. Morgana. The king's ward Morgana had kissed him. Lucky bastard.

He suddenly spotted Morgana and Gwen walking arm in arm with Arthur and some of the other noble blood children. They seemed to be arguing.

"Morgana you have to be a damsel with Gwen" spoke Kay in a manner of high importance.

"NO! I'm being a knight like you other boys. Another boy can easily captured by a dragon and tied to a tree"

The other boys, Kay Arthur, Gawain, Percivale, Lionel, Gareth and Bleoberis all howled with laughter at Morgana. Even Gwen let out a small giggle.

Merlin stood up to the group of children, "I can be captured by the dragon."

Everyone in the group turned to him, "Get lost Merlin no servants aloud" snapped Arthur "Plus this is knight talk you wouldn't understand."

Morgana put her hands on her hips savagely. "He can play if he wants to, and besides Gwen is playing with us so why can't Merlin?"

"That's completely different! I like Gwen!"

"Come on Merlin you and Gwen get captured while us the KNIGHTS of Camelot can rescue you" Morgana said VERY finally.

Everyone cheered (apart from Arthur) and they all ran into the forest away from the dragon. Arthur sighed and after a while realising he wasn't getting any attention ran after them trying to keep up.

Merlin and Gwen pretended to be 'tied' to a tree screaming for help, as the 'knights' held their 'swords' 'fighting' the 'dragon'.

Merlin turned to Gwen. They exchanged a small smiled waiting patiently to be rescued.

"Who have thought being a damsel waiting to be saved could be so boring." He smirked trying to make a conversation.

Gwen smirked, "Tell me about it" she smiled as Arthur went up to her and untied her.

"Good luck Merlin" she called as Arthur walked away with Gwen.

He watched as the other boys and Morgana swished their sticks and called to each other as they all crowded by the dragon, relaying details to one another when one got confused or said he had killed the dragon already. Not that Merlin felt envious of them, he was a lover not a fighter, and he felt happy to be even playing with them.

Gwen and Arthur were on the far side of the clearing, Gwen pretending to cower and Arthur holding up his sword to combat the dragon's fire. At last Morgana remembered Merlin and slowly walked up to him, she pretended to fiddle with the knots before reverting to slash the inexistent ropes with her stick sword.

Merlin grinned "thank you fine knight" he was playing along but also slightly sucking up.

Morgana grinned back before bowing "any fine man of honour like myself wouldn't have hesitated to help you" she was slightly playing it up, talking with a lower voice and taking for granted the fact that Merlin was nothing more than a mere servant.

She held her arms out, but Merlin had not forgot his masculinity enough to let himself be carried by a girl, "shall I carry you my lady…Sir knight" he asked not sure whether the game was over or not.

Morgana grinned evilly "knights are not carried."

Merlin sighed but tried to compromise. He took one of her arms and put it around his shoulders and he put his arm around her shoulders. So she wouldn't be too disappointed he lent against her like both of his legs had been broken.

"Ohhhhh!" Arthur called "Merlin and Morgana sitting in a tree, K.I.S.S.I.N.G!"

Morgana saw red, she picked up her stick and ran at Arthur hitting him around the back of the head hard, before Arthur started howling and ran back to the castle, followed by Gwen.

All the boys were crowding around Merlin shaking his hand and saying congratulations as if Merlin really had just kissed Morgana, they all scattered when Morgana approached again.

Morgana held out her arm, which Merlin slide around his shoulders. They began to slowly walk back to the castle arm in arm. Morgana walked like she was still in her part as a knight, carrying Merlin like she was one of the silver warriors they had seen dotted around the court. Merlin cleared his throat he knew they might never have this chance again.

What could he say? Anything. Something profound, something romantic, something deep.

Instead he had said the worst possible thing. "Do you want to be friends?"

Morgana paused for a long time.

She turned to him with a big grin, "if you'll take me…Okay."

~##~

Morgana smiled. Best decision in her life. The only decision she had made that did not mean she would regret it five seconds flat later. She smirked a little.

The sounds of footsteps where coming down the hill. Not that loud. A few meters away. Her acute sense of hearing could pick these things up. Something wicked this way comes.

The old crone hadn't awoken yet. The dead couldn't wake her up.

Morgana reached over and snuffed out the candle.

That would give her an hour or two.

That would be for her to get out and the baby.

She gritted he teeth as another contraction came on.

She didn't have much time left…

REVIEW MEEEEEEEEEEEE!


	5. The Golden Years

Evil

Chapter Two: The Golden Years

They spent more and more time together Merlin and Morgana. Merlin loved Morgana because she was gutsy and adventurous. And Morgana loved Merlin's company because he wasn't a lunk head like all the other children in the castle.

Morgana and Merlin still spent more and more time together soon the pair was inseparable, so much so they didn't even bother to team up with Arthur Gwen and the other children of the castle. Sometimes they didn't even play they just talked.

Not the sort of talk they will talk in the future the sort of grave discussions that was about life and death important matters. Oh no, _this _talk was about matters of 'grave' _discussions _about _life and death _'matters'. For example: Do you think with all the hot air in Arthur's head it will one day explode? Or how many pieces of toast is made in the morning for people's breakfast. Those sorts of important matters.

One day though when they were both around the age of twelve (their birthday was on the same day, only Merlin was born in the dawn of the day and Morgana in the night around midnight or the 'witching hour' as it is called now). Merlin was sitting on a hill Morgana sitting right next to him on the left. Their conversation though had taken a surprising turn:

"Kiss me?" asked Morgana repeating Merlin's question "yuck! Why do I want to kiss you?"

"You did that one time."

"That was different I wanted to get back at Arthur!" Morgana snapped her cheeks turning bright red.

"I just want to try it! You're always telling me to stand up for myself and make decisions."

"Yeah, but not with me!"

"Please Morgana. You owe me anyway because I didn't tell Arthur it was you and not me who put a metal bucket of water over his door for Christmas joke."

"And you're sure he will believe you over me" but she was already turning to him sighing.

Merlin did his big grin. Until it fell. "How do I kiss girls?"

"How should I know?"

"Well you kissed me last time."

"That was not a kiss. Anyway pretend your kissing your mother. That should help."

"…But I don't want to think I'm kissing my mother I want to kiss you-"

"Do you want a kiss or not Merlin?"

Merlin sighed. He awkwardly took Morgana's face in his hands. He even more awkwardly put his face close to hers. "Does my breathe smell?"

"Merlin…"

"Fine!"

Merlin breathed out squared his shoulders and a millimetre at a time put his face close to hers.

Morgana sighed she was bored of the matter and wanted to move on and get this over with. She grabbed Merlin's face and smacked a kiss onto his lips.

When she let go Merlin limply fell to the ground lying flat.

A crash of thunder rolled out. Morgana stood.

"Come on Merlin." She murmured not looking at him as she dusted the grass off of her dress. "Merlin?" she asked turning when he didn't respond.

Merlin was lying flat on the ground as heavy rain fell on him. His grin was larger than ever. The only thing that set her mind at ease that she hadn't killed him or something was that his lips parted to mouth the word "wow…"

She rolled her eyes trying to fix her hair to no avail. "I'm leaving Merlin…"

Merlin groggily got up and trotted up to her.

"That wasn't really me kissing you. Can I try again?" he asked cheekily.

"Don't push it Merlin."

Merlin let out a small giggle but decided to take his friend's advice and not push it.

"MERLIN!"

The two looked at each other both smiling, "Arthur" they said together. And the spoiled prince didn't sound happy.

The two exchanged a quick embrace as a crack of thunder sounded. The two rarely saw each other now; mainly through Morgana's lessens that took up nearly all of her time now and Arthur's need to have Merlin to do every little thing for him.

The two began to walk towards the castle as they were walking down a very steep hill, who they meet but Arthur walking towards them.

"MERLIN! THIS IS WHERE YOU HAVE BEEN! I WILL RIP YOU'RE EARS OFF AND STUFF THEM WHERE-"

Merlin growled, he reached his hand out in the heavy rain and mist "Prat disgyn disgyrchiant" Arthur stumbled a little backwards until falling to his knees in the mud.

Morgana turned to Merlin with a raised eyebrow.

She had seen everything.

~::~

She hadn't said a word to Merlin. She had tried to put all of the events back together in her head. Merlin mutters. Arthur fall. Merlin looks at her. Merlin goes down to help Arthur up.

Was it magic? Of course it was. Don't be so naïve Morgana. He had probably been lying to her all the way through their friendship. He might have even bewitched her to kiss him.

Yuck.

~::~

Merlin wasn't eating. Giaus noticed something was wrong him. He didn't pester the young boy because he was probably shattered after work and he might be going through boy problems, and God knows that he didn't want to go through _that_.

"Giaus" Merlin muttered not looking up from his plate of food which he hadn't touched.

Giaus interlay sighed. Here we go.

Giaus sat opposite him.

"What is it Merlin?" he asked sitting down opposite him.

"Giaus…I really like this girl. And I think she really likes me back."

"Oh?" he asked raising his eyebrow.

"She…Well she…I did something really stupid…"

"Merlin, I think you should-"

"I showed her I could do magic."

Giaus held his eyes. Then he reached across and smacked Merlin across the face.

"Ouch!" shouted a tearful Merlin holding his throbbing cheek.

"You foolish boy! Has four years not been long for you to get the message! Uther will KILL you! And you would jeopardise all of what we have worked for: the secret lessens! The buying of herbs and raw spells just because you get a crush on a girl! Merlin trust me! This crush will leave and soon she will black mail you and…oh Merlin…Why did you do it?"

"…I don't know" whispered Merlin tears going down his face. "I was showing off and Arthur…Giaus what if she doesn't like me anymore? What if she hates me now?"

"Merlin, my boy, that is the _least_ of your problems."

~::~

Merlin lay in his bed. The problems and guilt were going around and around his head and chest. It felt like all of his troubles were weighing his chest so much he couldn't breathe anymore.

She was the king's ward. She wouldn't believe him. Would she?

~::~ 

Morgana was half awake, half asleep. She was asleep because she was so tired. She and Uther had had another gruelling fight because she had dared to question him about why people who perform magic deserve to be prosecuted. He and she did have different views on the matter. She hadn't yet told him about Merlin. She didn't know why. Merlin had lied to her…But losing a year's friendship in a single in a single second was impossible.

She suddenly heard a sound in her room. She raised her head drowsily but she let out a small gasp when she saw figure on her bed. It only, thank God, took her a few seconds to realise who the person was.

Merlin.

She flopped back on her back exasperated. At last she sat up. A little glare on her forehead. "Merlin." She snapped.

Merlin's heart sank she knew.

Merlin looked away. "Morgana listen what you saw…"

"No Merlin. You listen. What did you do? Was it magic?"

"It's not that simple."

"It is where I'm sitting. Are you magic or not."

"…Don't tell Uther."

"*scoff* You don't even have the guts to say a straight answer to myself. And you assume the worst in me. No I won't tell Uther."

Merlin looked away. "It's who I am."

"For how long?"

"Before I met you."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"You were the king's ward you are dangerously close to my worst enemy. Besides I didn't tell anyone. And would you have accepted me if I told you on the first day we met I was magic? It's something I'm not exactly proud of."

Morgana looked away. She obviously didn't like the face that the boy she had known for two years and considered her best friend. Hadn't told her a very big secret. But as she kept the thoughts going around and around her head. She digressed with Merlin, pitied and even became a little curious about Merlin's abilities.

Morgana turned to Merlin, her green eyes full of wonder, "show me?" she asked her head titling to the side.

Merlin looked up at her, he looked around slightly but then he held his hand out to her. "Llosgi dy enaid o dân ar dy law."

A small spark came out of his figure tips and slowly. Very slowly a small flame began to come out of his figure tips. It crackled a few times but then Merlin couldn't sustain it any longer and it died out. Morgana was staring in awe of Merlin's shaking hand.

Merlin took his hand away, and laid next to her on her bed. "It's…not easy…lonely…and difficult to know that you are much more powerful than any man in the castle but…except that your life is nothing more than a shadow or a leaf in the wind. To be special but pretend to everyone else that you are nothing but a fool."

"…I…understand…"

Merlin turned to Morgana a little unsure about her statement, but let her continue. "Well not really, I doubt I ever will, you hold you power inside I have to hold mine outside at all times. But…I get dreams…Dreams I don't understand I…get medicine for it but, I can't talk to anyone about it because it might be magic and then Uther…I don't know what he'd do."

"…Do you dream about me?"

"Sometimes."

"….Do…Do I kiss you."

Morgana let out a short laugh turning to Merlin. "Merlin no power of my imagination or other abilities can imagine you kissing me."

"Thanks."

"It's not my fault that you have the ability to kiss of a door."

And they were both back. Back to their old tricks. Making smarty and clever remarks to each other, giggling and laughing (but muffling it in case Gwen or worse a guard heard them) at the thought they were breaking rules making jokes about Arthur, Uther and Giaus. Until at last they fell asleep both of them sleeping side by side.

But what they didn't know was something wicked was coming. Something…Evil.

~::~

I know this is very fluffy! But it will turn in the next few chapters! It might seem like filler…but it's not…^^

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	6. It's Gone Sour

Evil

Chapter Four: It's Gone Sour

"Arthur please, with the good heart that you will one day rule Camelot with. Please tell me you haven't sighed me up." Merlin begged. He was now fourteen years old and growing fast. In both body and magic.

"Sorry Merlin, but is duty for me as the Prince of Camelot that my personal man servant is the best servant in all of Camelot. I had to sign you up to be in the servant's tournament."

"NO!" shouted Merlin holding his head.

He had to be the worst swordsmen, archer, club man, jousting, free style combater, punching, kicking, _fighter. _In all Camelot. There was no question to it: he will be slaughtered.

~::~

Morgana let out a small cackle "Oh Merlin you are a hopeless case."

Merlin pouted a little he had just told Morgana all of his big fat manly problems and the girl had just laughed. "Its. Not. Funny." He muttered through gritted teeth "I will be slaughtered and beaten and…and…It's not funny, you're a girl so you don't need to worry about this sort of stuff! I wish I was a girl like me."

Morgana turned to Merlin no longer laughing, she stood up her thirteen year old body was taking on shape and her mature beauty it was quite hard for awkward Merlin not to feel intimidated and dazzled at the fiery beauty in front of him. "You're doing it again. Merlin."

"I am…? What am I doing again?"

"Being sexist. You could probably beat all of those blundering idiots including Arthur and Uther with both hands tied behind your back, if you wanted to."

"I can't use my magic."

Morgana had kept to her word she hadn't told a single soul including Uther about Merlin's magic, and Merlin needed her protection from the delusional king, for the executions were becoming more frequent and more brutal. He was almost going back to his idea of drowning young and old people innocent or guilty.

Morgana involuntary shivered at the word magic, God that word had coursed her so much pain and fear other the year. "No you're Brains!"

"I don't follow."

"It's all about strategy. Merlin, anyone can wield a sword but as long as you have the brains you can't fail."

They both turned to two competitors, they were mammoths of a human both smashing eachother with their shields and swords so hard the ground shook. Morgana tried to imagine Merlin in that fight. She shivered he'd make such a mess.

"But…I suppose I could teach you…" she concluded turning to Merlin.

"Can you fight?"

"Merlin…"

"…Yes…Please…" he squeaked.

~::~

And so that was another activity they now did. Train Merlin. Morgana added they couldn't practise in the day because of their busy lives. Uther would no longer tolerate his ward being with young ruffians like Merlin.

That week they would met up in the forest to practise Merlin's fighting. Merlin really was hopeless, apart from a shield to protect himself when Arthur was trying to smash is skull in but apart from that he had been never taught to fight with a club, a sword he could barely lift, and the spear he had taught himself to use which happened to be the wrong way.

Lessens usually consisted of Morgana teaching Merlin by giving him a weapon showing him how to wield it, and try to hit a tree in it. Merlin was more than a little embarrassed for he single handily showed Morgana he was a wimp and a weakling.

Merlin was still deeply attracted to Morgana, even more so his awkwardness towards her didn't help his fighting much.

When the fighting was over (that being as much as Merlin could take without fainting), they would sit by a tree side by side both breathing hard and then lapsing into silence. They sometimes chat, sometimes they would just sit their enjoying the moment. Morgana sometimes ask Merlin to show her some of his magic, he'd always try but most of the time he was too tired to hold his hand up let alone cast a spell.

Morgana chewed her lip a little, it was the seventh night she had been teaching Merlin, he had improved a great deal, not enough to win…But enough to not be killed. She turned to Merlin, he had his eyes closed sweat trickling down his forehead, and it had been a very draining session today.

She had been having problems. Dream problems to be exact. She kept dreaming of the same thing over and over:

_Morgana stood in the courtyard of Camelot, the ground shook slightly under her weight. Her head jerked this way and that as the concrete on the floor began to move up and down like it was a liquid or something trying to break through the ground._

_At last with a loud BOOM! The concrete was split into tiny pieces. She screamed as skulls and tiny demons worked their way out of the gaps. _

_A figure larger than all the insects, demons and skulls burst out of the ground. It was a woman in a black hooded clock. Her features on her face wasn't distinguishable, her face was so misty and her grin and eyes jumped so vigorously around her face it was hard to see if she even had a face._

"_SISTER" she cried making Morgana tremble with fright. "THE SOLUTION TO YOUR PROBLEMS IS ACTUALLY VERY SIMPLE: DON'T FORGET THE PROFECY."_

_The woman took puppet strings and those wooden crosses that held the stings out of her sleeves. The strings went deep into Morgana's limbs and joints. She felt her body stand painfully to attention. The woman swung her around the setting deep into the red and orange sky and then into the grey ground. The strings seemed to have dead decaying bodies tied to the strings: Giaus, Gwen, Arthur, Uther, Merlin all were tied up against suffocating her as she was spun around and around._

That was when she would wake up crying and sweating. Giaus gave her a stronger drug every night but it made no difference. She was going out of her mind.

"Merlin…" she mumbled slowly and quietly.

Merlin broke out of his tired trance turning to her.

"Is it possible…That…You could teach me a little magic?"

Merlin jumped a little at the proposal, magic? To the king's ward? Morgana? He was shaking his head before he could even truly think about it.

Morgana's face fell and she looked straight ahead not wanting to show Merlin her raw hurt.

Merlin sighed "Morgana, you can't just pick magic up just like that, it's in your blood you either can or can't do it."

"Let me try Merlin. I'm desperate."

Merlin looked down a little, he had known about Morgana's…problem for some time now. "Magic is not the answer." He murmured standing up.

Morgana's forehead creased into a frown. What had Merlin said last night to make the forest glow…?

"Golau". Her eyes shaded a small golden glow, she felt such power going through her system, it raged through her spin making her sit up straight, her eyes burned slightly from the colour change, but she forced them open to see the magic unfold.

The trees took on a small glow as she felt her hands touch one, it was like she was in one of her dreams: she didn't seem real. It was so hard to keep using the magic, like holding your breath under water. Suddenly she broke out of the magic…and it was over.

Merlin stared at her, he looked away. He wasn't the only one.

He wasn't the only one…

OH God, he _wasn't _the only one.

He turned to Morgana she was trembling and sweating after her spell. He had to give her credit she was handling better than he did. He had thrown up. But he knew the dangers she didn't. "Forget what you did tonight my lady." He whispered looking away from her.

Morgana looked up at him she had snapped out of her trance… "Merlin please, I can do it…"

"Why?" Merlin asked turning to her now annoyed. "This isn't a glamorous life Morgana! I have to stoop so low to keep out of trouble, knowing full well that I could be more powerful and more brilliant than any of your…_kind_. And yet I know if I did I would be the next person swinging off of those gallows I am kidding you not. And what part of that seems appealing to you!" He asked stepping away from her into a clearing.

"Merlin…I don't want to be in your situation but…I want to control myself…I want it all to stop" she murmured through gritted teeth holding the sides of her head. "I don't want to scared of my dreams…I don't want to be alone anymore."

Merlin looked at her frowning. "You can't have one without the other." He breathed not fully realising the impact of his words.

Morgana looked up at him. "I will learn fast."

"Can you take the study?"

"Can you take the danger?"

They both looked at each other, and as the fates in the wind rolled the dice on both of their future they had one answer for each other: Yes.

~##~

Morgana let out a scream her body pulsing as another contraction went through her. She shook her head clammy and her hair stuck to her head. She stared straight ahead. As her body began to shake, her sight was starting to play tricks with her. The old woman in front of her looked strangely familiar. Her black eyes were ones resembling one curiously to that of another she had once known.

The eyes looked right through her green ones. And just a small flash went over the woman's face. It was like a small mask came off of the woman's eyes and face, it was a young one.

They old woman was waiting. Waiting patiently for the witch to figure it out…Morgana looked away, she felt like she had been kicked (figuratively) in the chest and a huge hole had been punched in.

Morgana didn't want to think though she didn't want to fight. For the first time in her life she didn't want to fight it: her destiny.

~##~

A month passed, Merlin had failed miserably with the tournament. When the time came he dropped his sword and ran to the entrance trying to climb over it.

Anyone else would be mad at Merlin for being such a coward (like Arthur), but Morgana had let out a small smile (even to this day) of the memory of Merlin running around the pit like a lunatic trying to dodge the arrows thrown at him.

One good thing though had come out of it. The two had starting training together. Morgan soon mastered all of the basic beginners spells (probably through Merlin's teaching to anything else), and now she and Merlin where neck and neck with their lessons.

Merlin would be taught at dawn by Giaus and an old spell book, and then on the same night he'd teach her all he had learnt. This wasn't understandably very often, but Merlin's heart would still leap for joy: another night in Morgana's company.

She was the only person to treat her like an equal. And she was the only one who had a small idea of what he was going through.

Their birthdays had come and gone. Fifteen years old…So young for what was to happen next.

~::~

It was a dark night when the two were practising together.

Little did they know that they were being watched.

By four eyes to be exact.

One from the south, full of worry and yet curiosity.

The next coming from the castle, eyes narrowed as their eyes darted to the two youngsters. Their two eyes widened when they saw Merlin and Morgana holding hands as a small blue ball of raw magic went up in the air.

Morgana and Merlin let go of their hands, the small ball flouted around the cool night sky. It seemed like a bubble beautifully gliding around the trees until at last falling gently to the two's eye level.

Morgana slowly reached her hand out to touch it. It bubbled gently from her touch. Merlin too held his hand out touching it too.

The sky clouded over the moon blocking the light when Merlin gently stroked Morgana's index figure with his own.

His hand went through to the middle of the bubble his figures lacing through hers.

Drops of water from the rain clouds gently fell on them. Morgana smiled at Merlin, Merlin looked way more attractive to her in the dark with the bubble of magic their only source of light.

As the bubble began to fade away their faces edged closer together. The rain went heavy on them making them stop midway.

Morgana and Merlin smiled slightly both now drenched by the rain.

Morgana let go of Merlin's hand and ran for cover.

Merlin smiled and then ran after her.

He gently caught her under the tree spinning her around slightly. Morgana put her hands on his back looking at Merlin in the eyes.

Merlin found his arms on their own winding around her waist.

Merlin put his wet head against hers.

Morgana felt their noses brush against each other's.

A sudden bang went through the air. They both stopped, they looked around tensely.

Merlin looked around one of the trees; he was still holding Morgana close to him.

Through the trees they saw nothing. Suddenly bursting through the bushes and trees came a carriage tied to a grey horse galloping way too fast and wildly. The carriage held a whole army of men and druids both heavily equipped one dark hooded figure stood on top of the cart.

Its wheels spun as the horse galloped straight towards the teenagers. The cart just missed them leaving them frozen with fear.

Morgana and Merlin turned to look at the person riding on top of the cart.

Morgana's eyes went wide as she saw the figure was a woman…The woman from her dreams…She felt like she was going to be sick.

~::~

Morgana trudged heavily towards the castle Merlin in her wake.

"What are we going to say?" asked Merlin as he caught her hand in his own.

"We're going to tell the truth, a woman is heading her way to the castle with an army."

"And the forest part?"

"You don't have to come with me."

Merlin still let himself be pulled by her to Uther's meeting room.

The two stood muddy and wet standing side by side holding hands. Uther glared at the two looking from one to the other.

"Your explanation?" He asked.

"Uther…We saw an army heading to Camelot…It could pose as war. You have to act fast to get our defences ready." Morgana mumbled looking at his feet as her hair dripped.

Arthur looked from Merlin to Morgana not sure whether to laugh or punch Merlin in the face.

Uther stood and looked at the two. "I saw."

Morgana looked up "then we must get the knights ready for-"

"Not the army. You two."

Merlin and Morgana exchanged a glance.

A chill went down both of their spins.

Uther turned to the guards. "Restrain the boy." He murmured looking away.

Two guards went in and grabbed Merlin wrenching him roughly by the scruff of the neck.

Morgana blinked and looked around "What are you doing?" she asked her face paling.

"Teaching him a lesson. He knows magic."

"NO! It was all me."

Uther turned to Morgana.

"I know magic it was all me let him go."

Uther grabbed Morgana's neck pressing her against the wall. "Take care child" he murmured squeezing her neck tightly.

Morgana let out a croak and a gasp.

"Make sure you'll never speak like that again in my or anyone else's presence."

Merlin blinked trying to get free. Uther dropped Morgana, she held her throat, and for a split second pure white rage and hatred crossed over her green eyes dyeing them white.

"I will kill him tomorrow" Uther murmured walking away.

"We'll all be dead by tomorrow" screamed Morgana.

Arthur looked at Merlin then Morgana then slowly turned away sneering with disgust.

Merlin was dragged out by the guards to the prison to await his punishment.

Morgana was left alone in the room holding her hands over her chest crying.

Her spin tingled as she felt another's presence approaching.

And just then a big boom sounded through the castle as Morgana's arch rival until the end of time knocked on the door…

Waiting to be let in….

…

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	7. My Destiny

Evil

Chapter Five: My Destiny

Morgana ran to the window and looked out. It was the group Merlin and herself had seen, the woman wearing her black hood and clock, with another hooded figures. Morgana ran to the battlements to get a better look at them.

She stared at them as one of the men in the group banged the door again with his sword. Giaus was with the king as they sat on the balcony of his room. Morgana blinked he couldn't be thinking of letting them in…

"Halt who goes there" shouted the captain of the guard speaking them off the west side of the castle.

"You will all-" began one of the men. The woman hit him in the ribs.

"We are weary travellers on our way to the sea, we need a place to stay we want peace, not fighting."

Morgana forehead creased she had heard a voice similar to that once. A long time ago...

…A lifetime ago…

Her mind spun slightly as her recognition started to click into place.

"You want no such thing" snapped Morgana her fear taking control of her mind "We don't want you here" she found herself shouting. Out of the corner of her eye as Uther covered his eyes slightly from her actions.

"We want nothing but peace" the woman replied barely raising an octave.

Morgana ran down to corridor to Uther. "Please sire, don't let them in. They could really hurt us all."

"I've had enough of your foolishness girl."

"Please I know them from a long time ago. They are the ones that attacked my father and burned my home down."

Uther's head snapped slightly at the mention of her father. "Be quiet" he murmured. Any other day he would have solely believed her and have a full search on the travellers. But he had just seen her practise what seemed to be magic and kiss a servant boy. If she told him the sky was blue he'd double check.

Uther raised his voice "I will parley with any traveller wanting peace. Leave your weapons inside and meet me in the great hall."

The woman smirked under her hood.

She didn't need visible weapons.

Morgana felt her chest tighten. She wanted Merlin.

She turned away from Uther and ran down the stairs slipping slightly; she just wanted to fall into some arms…

She stopped midway when she saw the travellers had already arrived. She hid her face under her black hair. She was still nervously eyeing them up when Giaus, Arthur, Uther and five guards appeared after her.

The woman looked from the faces trying to figure out who was who. Her eyes rested on Morgana standing in a corner trying not to be noticed.

The woman smirked she had waited a long time for this. Her body trembled slightly from anticipation her sense of judgement suffered. Her timing was imperfect.

"How can we help you?" asked Giaus slowly and quietly.

"You can help me. By giving me Camelot" the woman murmured throwing back her hood.

She was easily nineteen, her long curly hair was a ginger blond, and her eyes were an icy blue. Morgana turned to her a slight frown on her forehead.

A guard ran at one of the hooded figured men, his sword drawn. The hooded man didn't even move as the guard approached. A slick snapped went through the room as the guard's sword went right through the man.

The girl smiled and watched as the sword inside the hooded figure split the man in half. The hood shook as the man split in two, and then three and then four. Until there had to be twenty new men splitting from the first one.

Morgana stared as the entire army was subdued into just two men. If she hadn't been so terrified she would have been intrigued and fascinated by the sit she was observing.

The girl smirked at her powers stepping forward "don't you remember me Uther?" she said with her future smugness that she will perfect in later life, "Morgause? Nothing?"

Uther growled, he refused to let himself be bullied by a child.

Morgause turned to one of her companions, "read the charges for surrender."

The man pulled back his hood showing his haunting face and from under his arm pulled an old wrinkled script, "one: surrender must be absolute and literal."

Uther banged his throne's arm.

"Two: All citizens will belong to Morgause."

Arthur frowned.

"Three: All possessions will belong to Morgause."

Morgana growled.

"Four: All of the-"

Something inside Morgana snapped. She screamed as she grabbed a sword from the nearest guard, wielded it and slashed the script into tiny bites. "I'll tell you what you get you filthy scum, you'll get nothing! Do you hear me nothing!"

Morgause stared at Morgana her mouth hanging open.

One of the hooded men ran at Morgan his sword wielded running straight at her. Morgana tried to wield the sword again, but she couldn't raise it in time.

"Morgana look out" shouted Arthur running to her.

The hooded figure was suddenly hit over the head hard with a candle stand. Merlin fell back, Morgana blinked at him, she didn't know where he had come from but she was grateful he had come even so. Arthur blinked at Merlin.

Uther slammed his hands down onto the throne's arms before standing. "How DARE you come into my court to read articles of slavery and death."

Arthur did a small nod to Merlin before turning away to his father.

Morgause had not looked away from Morgana. "Morgana…?" She breathed her eyes wide.

Morgana blinked at Morgause, she had never seen this girl before.

"Don't you remember me…?"

"I think I would remember a piece of scum like you!"

"…I'm your sister." She said suddenly smirking as her mind was already racing with a plan. "I knew your mother…And our father, I know everything about you." She let out a small cackle. "I watched you being born."

Morgana blinked, Merlin looked from one to the other. There was a likeness.

Morgause smirked here was the line that was going to give her such power: "You're going to join me-"

"ENOUGH!" shouted Uther.

"She will be the most powerful sorcerous in history. She will become evil" Morgause finished a small cackle.

Morgana's eyes widened. What? What did she?...Was she…Morgana's face suddenly flushed into a frown. She ran right to Morgause the sword stretched so to dive it into Morgauses' flesh.

Morgauses' smile never faltered as she reached out a hand. Morgana felt a firm grip go onto her neck. She fell back as Morgause laughed. Her magic was fare more superior to Morgana's fighting skills.

Merlin tried to run to her, but the chains that had bound his wrists together had caught to a corner of the stair case.

"I've have had enough of this petty foolishness." Morgause snapped her eyes turning a crystal gold. "Llosgi nhw! Llosgi nhw i gyd i Hell!"

The ground shook as Morgause held her hands up to the sky. Fire burst through the windows. Merlin put his head against the wall. Morgana held her arms around her head. Arthur blinked up his mouth agape.

Morgana looked around at the people in the room. Uther was ordering guards to attack the girl, yet the guards couldn't even touch her. Arthur had dived under the table, and Merlin couldn't help them. Only her.

She stood her hand out. She had to help the others. She heard Merlin shout to her: "MORGANA DON'T!"

She felt tears going down her face. This spell was going to change her life forever.

Uther and Arthur looked at her as she stood motionless in front of the powerful witch. Even Gwen poked her head through the door to see what was happening.

"Stop hi. Duwies ynof. Defnyddiwch y pŵer bach yn rhaid i mi roi'r gorau i hyn bitch."

The light was the first thing that had happened. Her finger tips took on a crystal blue tinge showing out her finger prints. She felt the fire burning into her stomach and lungs, she couldn't breathe the raw magic in her system was immature and rogue. Her hands trembled as the first beams of light went bursting through her fingertips right into Morgause.

Morgause fell onto her back she kept getting hit again and again in the back and stomach.

Morgana felt her inner body exploding by the magic now raging inside her, she wanted to double over into a ball and scream. But she couldn't move the pain and the power couldn't make herself.

The men were now all splitting back into one man, when he was done he ran to Morgause holding his body up into a wall Morgause managed to stand up just in the nick of time. The man exploded, he went into tiny little black slugs that splattered onto the walls and floor.

Morgause looked at the walls and floor. She smirked. Morgana was already looking promising. She dived into the floor. And was gone.

Morgana still couldn't stop. Her eyes were now wide with fright her arms outstretched; her eyes even began to let out hot sparks. She couldn't stop.

She screamed as shafts of light went through her throat.

Merlin ran over to her he touched Morgana's arm, she turned to him her eyes tearstained.

He put his arms gently around her. She felt him mutter something into the air. She couldn't hear though for the screeching of the power.

She felt herself go limp, her power leaving her, it felt like she had breathed out and all the breath had been kicked out of her. Merlin laid his head over hers. She put her aching arms around his waist. The smoke cleared, she closed her sore eyes, and she wanted a moment. Just a moment.

She knew Uther would have seen her. Everyone had seen her, _Ireland_ would have seen her.

She felt a shiver go down her spine as she tightened her arms around Merlin's back.

What will Uther do?

What will Uther do?

What will Uther-

~::~

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	8. Why?

Evil

~::~= new scene/ new character (a flash back from Morgana)

~##~= back to the present day: back to Morgana

Chapter six: Why?

Morgana looked at the window in her bed room; it was a beautiful day, outside it looked so peaceful. She lay on the light which the window was casting; the summer heat did come through it the area but not much.

She supposed she should be grateful to Uther for letting her live, after such a performance and openly admitting it before hand to him it's a wonder what had stopped inside him to make him not hang her from the gallows or at least cut her head off or burn her. She had been for the first three weeks.

He had ordered the guards and herself that she was to be confided in her room and not let out until she "pulled herself together" as he had put it. Giaus gave her a strong dose everyday trying to combat her magic. She hadn't seen Merlin since the night that she had blown her cover.

The only person she now saw on a regular basis was Gwen, who gave her, her food and her medicine. She would have gone crazy if it wasn't for her books and loyal Gwen giving her books from Merlin. She rebelled as she only could rebel; she perfected and learnt more magic.

She had been locked up for over a year. And she was going crazy. If there weren't any sharp objects, her windows hammered shut and the fact she had no strong rope of the right length, she would have killed herself months ago.

She heard the door knob turn; she looked at the door as Gwen walked in.

"Good morning milady," she smiled cheerful as ever.

Morgana smiled, this was the highlight of her day: talking to Gwen, no matter how short or how trivial the matter their conversation may be.

"Good morning Gwen." Morgana smirked sitting up. "How's your new job?" Gwen couldn't do the hours she used to do for Morgana so she had to become another maid for another lady in the castle.

Gwen smirked biting her lips until launching into a funny speech about how the lady had bought the most ludicrous set of dresses and was expecting Gwen to help her put them on. Gwen went on to tell Morgana how Arthur had been knocked off his horse and now was forced to stay in bed for the rest of the week. And how Merlin has got so much free time now he actually tried to perfect Giaus' potions but he miscalculated and ended up singeing his own eyebrows and ears.

Morgana looked out the window while listening to all of this. "Do you think any worse of me Gwen?" she murmured not looking at her friend.

Gwen blinked at Morgana. "I'll never think badly of you Morgana Pendragon" she whispered slowly and seriously.

"I highly doubt that Gwen" Morgana murmured looking at her in the face. "Gwen" she murmured taking her friend's hands, "Look at me, (*a yes milady from Gwen*) I won't last much longer, Uther is growing impatient I can feel it in my bones, and I don't think I can keep this up, sooner or later I will do something stupid. But listen, Gwen…Don't let anyone say you can't do that…Even me. One day you will be taller than the tallest tree in the forest and you will be…" she shook her head, her eyes dropping to Gwen's hands. What was she saying? She couldn't _impose _a destiny on someone. Least of all Gwen. Gwen will make her own destiny as the queen of Camelot but it was not her place to tell her, she could not change a destiny.

Not even her own.

Gwen looked at her mistress as Morgana looked out of the window back into deep thought a new ancient sadness had dimmed in her eyes, like she was the oldest person in the world and she had just found out about it.

Gwen looked at the sun, it was getting late. She didn't want to leave the lady, especially after that talk she had had with her and now this new mood coming over the lady. But what could she do? Very little.

She stood, "I have to go now." She murmured almost frightened of Morgana.

Morgana turned to her smiling, "alright, see you tomorrow Gwen."

Gwen smiled as she backed away through the door; she did a final wave before closing it and locking it. She put her back against the door held her hand over her moth and began to cry.

~::~

Merlin sighed as he magic up some new eyebrow shards and un-bandaged up his ears. He hoped no one would notice as he pressed some ice against the sore pieces of flesh.

Just then Gwen of all people ran in crying.

"Gwen...What's the matter? Is it Arthur?"

Gwen shook her head as she chocked out some more sobs she buried her face into Merlin's chest, Merlin let out a small blush slightly as she did so.

~::~

A few minutes later, Gwen had managed to compose herself enough to drink some tea (though I suppose it would be hot water with a slash of milk ^^). She let out another sob before composing herself.

"It's Morgana. I think…I don't think…She's well."

Merlin blinked at her. "What do you mean?" he asked tilting his head slightly.

"She…It's not healthy, fifteen months she has been cooped up in that room, and I don't think she's getting better…I think she's getting worse…She might do something stupid and…I think she should." Tears rolled down Gwen's red cheeks as she tried to hold it together for Merlin. "What kind of life will she get if she goes through this, everyone will be frightened of her, if she steps one toe out of line Uther will kill her, and the people will hate her because she managed to be spared and survive what so many of their loved ones haven't. Forget her future it's happening now."

Merlin looked a head his brain working over time trying to figure out what could be done. "She needs to remember that there is more than her destiny, and that everything isn't set in stone." He muttered standing up and grabbing a piece of paper.

"What…How can we do that?" Gwen asked gaping at Merlin.

"…I don't know…Maybe a walk…A day not cooped up in her room."

Gwen blinked…How could they, do that…"Well be breaking a lot of rules."

"You don't have to help me."

But loyal Gwen knew she had to.

~::~

Morgana was sitting at her desk reading a book, she rubbed her eyes the dawning sun did not help light up the meaning of the magical gibberish in the old wrinkled yellow pages before her.

There was a small knock at her door, she stood her forehead creased slightly unsure what was going to happen next.

You could imagine her relief when Gwen pocked her head through the door.

Morgana smiled slightly "you're early Gwen. Busy day?" she asked before turning around to look at her book.

"You could say that." Gwen muttered looking into Morgana's wardrobe and taking out a dress.

"We're being bold today Gwen." Morgana muttered not looking up from her book.

Gwen said nothing she picked a dress for Morgana then handed it to her. Morgana looked at Gwen then at the dress, she smirked then took it. She walked behind the screen as she fastened it on. "A special occasion Gwen?" Morgana murmured coming out with a raised eyebrow.

Before Gwen could answer Merlin knocked on the door.

Gwen hastily answered it.

"Is she ready?" asked Merlin.

Morgana blinked slightly her cheeks going red. She had missed him.

Merlin walked in his normal grin on his lips.

The two blinked at each other. It had only been a year and yet the other had become so…Different.

Merlin's crazy hair had become crazier, he had become taller and gawkier, his muscles had not become as well toned as Arthur's but they were impressive for his age and size.

Morgana's long curly hair had become longer, thicker and a richer black that shone. Her figure had served her well for she was still carrying off the hour glass effect.

They smirked at each other before running into each other's arms. Gwen tutted "yes, yes, we all love each other but can we do this after you two go past the city borders?"

Morgana frowned slightly at Gwen then at Merlin.

Merlin looked around still holding his grin. "Surprise" he murmured holding his hands out.

Morgana rolled her eyes. "I can't" she murmured looking away to her books.

"Oh no, I am not putting my neck and job on the line for you to give up in the last minute" snapped Gwen (who could be very persistent if she wanted to) she shoved the two of them out of the room. "Don't come back until you have a good time." She snapped locking the door from the inside.

Merlin smirked at Morgana before grabbing her hand and pulling her out of the corridor before the early morning guards came.

~::~

Morgana blinked up at the sunlight as she walked through the forest after Merlin. It had been such a long time since she had felt the cool wind on her cheeks and the sun's rays caressing her face. She closed her eyes slightly indulging herself. The cool cloudless blue sky let the heat dance on the cool snowy ground and heat up her body.

Merlin turned to see her standing completely still and to attention just feeling the sun on her skin. Merlin smirked at her but in his interior face he felt a wave of sadness come over him, and a pang of guilt, life had become nicely easier for Merlin. Arthur now treated him like an equal ever since he had saved Morgana from that charging thug. All charges had been dropped, how could they be held after Morgana's performance? Even Giaus hadn't been so strict and disappointed in him.

He gingerly took her hand snapping her out of it, Morgana's brow creased as some clouds started to form. She snatched her hand away just in time.

Merlin looked down. Maybe this wasn't such a great idea but he led her to the edge of the forest. Into a small clearing. He didn't know what he was supposed to do. He flapped his arms up slightly, what could he do? He went to a bank of a small stream and sat down.

"How can you be so cool Merlin?" Morgana asked very quietly.

"What do you mean?" he muttered searching for something to make it seem like he was doing something important.

"I've seen your future Merlin. Many times. Congratulations on the beard." She murmured looking at her feet.

"It doesn't matter. What does matter is that for today at least you need to remember that there is more to life than the future and what might happen."

"But Merlin…"

"Morgana!" Merlin snapped facing her. "You have to drop this. If you don't then this will rule your life forever."

Morgana looked away slightly "easy for you to say Merlin."

"What? I gallop around people sorting out their problems like I'm some kind of hero?"

"…Pretty much yes."

Merlin looked away frowning. She did too. The silence between them was deafening. They had never had such a cut and dry row before. Morgana sniffed slightly, she loved Merlin, yet she knew now that the universe wouldn't allow that. She felt a small tear go down her face.

Merlin looked at her. What had he done? He looked down suddenly ashamed. He gulped a little she had just been reminded that he was going to gain power and glory, and yet all she could hope for is that she is going to become one of the most infamous witches of all time…

He looked at her his face turning into a determined frown. He had to show her there was more…He walked up to her and boldly kissed her right on the mouth. His tongue worked his way into her mouth caressing her moist throat and tongue. They stayed like that for a good fifty seconds until the first slashes of rain fell on them.

Merlin broke away breathing hard. He grew a slight blush but he had to carry on. He held out his arm to her. "May I have this dance my lady" he managed to gasp.

Morgana blinked at him blushing slightly herself. She took his arm. She put her arms around his neck and he put his around her waist.

They began to do a slow serious waltz at first until Merlin spun Morgana a bit too roughly and she nearly fell. After that they had a competition onto who could spin each other the fastest and roughest. They spun each other holding hands spinning faster and faster on the spot until they lost grip and fell down, breathing hard.

Morgana felt herself laughing a stroke of thunder went through the air: "Oh be quiet" she snapped to the heavens.

Merlin turned and smiled at her. A true smile. He stood up slowly grinning at Morgana.

"Merlin?" She asked rising and eyebrow.

He smirked trotting away.

She sat up and looked after him her eyebrow raised.

Suddenly a snow ball hit her right in the face.

She turned red as she whipped away the frozen water. Merlin was on the bank howling with laughter. She smirked as she hid in the bushes.

Merlin blinked around he smirked. 3, 2, 1. He ducked just in time as Morgana jumped at him.

He grinned down at her. "Catch me if you can" he smiled almost taunting her.

She smirked as she ran after him.

He didn't have a chance.

~::~

Merlin and Morgana lay down on the dark green grass, the sun was setting slightly in the distance. They had had a good day. Not a great day but a day to remember. All of Morgana's old rage and self-hatred seemed to have been peeled away and she seemed more at peace with herself. Merlin himself felt a lot better, it was sometimes a good thing that they both had a day to run away from their destinies, futures and magic. In the future when they were both adults and craving for the others company they would often think back to that day.

Morgana looked at the sunset. She stood fixing her dress slightly. "I think we should head back" she muttered a little sadly "I don't think Gwen will be able to pull it off for much longer."

Merlin nodded he felt a little bit disappointed but…what could he do?

They started off, but they could tell something was not right in the air.

A storm was brewing.

The two looked at each other wondering if the other one could feel it too.

Morgana bit her lip slightly a million fears went through her, "I think you'd better head back to Giaus' Merlin" she muttered as she saw her room's window dark.

Merlin looked too. "Gwen…" he muttered when he saw Uther storm out of the castle with a whole army of knights after him.

Morgana looked at Merlin sadly reality had come back. "You'd better go Merlin" she said almost smiling at him, business as usual. "Before Uther catches the both of us."

Merlin did a slight nod and like the coward he was he ran for Giaus' house. Leaving Morgana on the hill to work her way back down to Uther by herself.

~::~

Merlin felt awful as he lay in his bed. He hoped Gwen was okay. He hoped Morgana was okay. He hoped he'd be okay.

The rain fell heavily onto the house's old roof. Merlin sighed slightly. He went in and out of sleep slightly dreaming and slightly screaming through the time. It was past midnight when he woke up again. He almost screamed.

There was a figure in the door way. He sat up wide awake and wide eyed. Only when the person let out a small sob did his mind got set at rest. Morgana.

He blinked at her. Questions like: How did you escape from your room? And why are you here? Danced through his mind but none seemed to stay in one place for enough time for him to ask it.

She stood in the doorway wearing a violet dress and held something in her hand. From her sniffs he could tell she was crying.

Merlin bit his lip slightly but he found himself opening out his arms for her. "Come here" he murmured (not an order…but a friendly suggestion). She crawled into his arms. She seemed wet and cold because of the wind and rain outside. Merlin didn't mind though he held her against him.

He didn't really know what he was doing. For all he knew he was having a dream.

"Merlin…" muttered Morgana slowly.

Merlin blinked "yes". He had almost fallen asleep he lay next to Morgana his arms around her waist and had laid his head onto hers.

"Do you remember where the druids live?"

"Sure east, by east, by *yawn* north….But why should I know we aren't going anywhere."

Morgana smiled slightly, she knew the directions to the druids already, she just…wanted to say goodbye…

She had never seen Uther so angry with her. They had had words, she had told him what she thought of him and why it wasn't right for him to keep her locked up like this. He had told her it was for the best and told her exactly what he had thought of her.

"I'll be with you Merlin…Even when I'm not here."

Merlin opened his eyes fully awake now, "what do you mean…I'm staying at Camelot…And so are you." He muttered firmly now like he could make Morgana change her mind.

"Merlin…I…I" she looked away she gave up. I love you didn't seem appropriate. She turned over so she was facing away from him.

Merlin blinked, what should he do? Carry her back to her room? Let her stay?...Have sex with her? What was he expected to do now? He was too tired, he lay behind her pulling her closer to him. He rubbed her arm hoping that if she didn't have a nightmare she might over sleep.

…And she might be still there when he awoke the next morning…

Morgana laid their tears falling down her face, she turned to Merlin who had now fallen asleep. She kissed Merlin's hair gently, before lying her head against his shoulders.

If she could pretend she had fallen asleep against him then, maybe this wouldn't be too painful.

At last she felt the first rays of the red sun hit her hair. And she was gone.

~::~

Merlin awoke…What a dream…He looked next to him…But there was no Morgana…Was it a dream? Must have been.

He sat up cracking his back. A good dream though. He yawned again slightly.

He got up and got dress when Giaus ran into the room.

Merlin's heart sank.

"Merlin its Morgana."

Oh no.

"She's run away again."

Merlin blinked. And suddenly all of the words that Morgana had ushered last night made absolute heart breaking sense.

He ran with Giaus and the guards, Gwen and Arthur all looking for Morgana.

But the young witch had disappeared.

And this time they weren't going to find her….

Not for another five years…

…

~##~

Morgana lay on her back; she looked straight at the woman. She knew who she was. Her mind was so full of hate for everyone. Uther for making her run away in the first place, Arthur for being Arthur, Gwen for taking her place on the throne, even Merlin because he was the one who was putting her through all of this pain. And one other, the one who had started it all. Her worst enemy was sitting right in front of her.

"Morgause" she murmured wanting to get this over with.

The woman let out a cackle before stepping out of her enchantment to show her true form. The witch had aged considerably from her nineteen year old memory, she still had her piercing eyes and fiery hair, yet she was older and a lot weaker than before the pains of age must always follow.

The two witches stared at each other, until Morgause couldn't keep her straight face any longer and let out a cackle.

"I knew you couldn't keep your mouth shut for much longer sister."

"You know very well that we have no such relationship."

"Oh by future and by the stars we are."

"Of all the people to find me tonight."

"It was no chance sister, my magic is not so dull…I know about the child."

"I would never have guessed if I had your eyes."

Morgause only laughed.

"Why the disguise?"

"Fun."

"No you just don't want Uther or Merlin to find you."

"Don't flatter me on my behalf."

Morgana rolled her eyes eight years of freedom and she had almost forgotten her teasing. Almost. She decided to get to the point. "Why are you here?" she snapped (as best she could) through gritted teeth as another contraction wavered through.

"I've come to restore what damage you have done to our future rein."

Morgana growled slightly for the moment beyond speech.

"I take it you know what I mean. You know what I have to do."

Morgana sat up and stood rocking slightly clinging to the bed post. She felt a sudden anger and protection run through her veins. She held her palms out ready for defence.

"Come on and try you crack brain slave driving witch" she snapped her eyes turning red slightly.

"I will try to save you at least."

"Don't bother."

"Oh I will with every ounce of my being I will try. You can count on that at least."

The woman squared themselves up, Morgana took off her clock and hood, as Morgause tightened her dress's sash.

'Any time Merlin. Any time' Morgana thought desperately.

As Morgause pounced at her.

Morgana ducked just in the nick of time.

She had five minutes.

Tops.

END OF PART ONE.

I know very fluffy.

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	9. Part Two: Druids, Sheep And Torture

Evil

PART TWO: Druids, Sheep and Torture

The young witch Morgana sat up in the tree. She was completely blending into her surroundings. The druids had taught her well.

She was on a scouting mission to find some information about King Uther's movements. The witch didn't usually approve of orders but her sister and her lover's movements made it impossible to move back, so she had to move forward into Uther's unguarded land.

She balanced with ease on the branch she didn't magic to keep her in good shape. Maybe a little. She was watching the road underneath the massive tree. This was a fine spot where gossip was being told.

Just then three guards walked underneath, she crouched down low trying to hear every last word.

"We 'ort to be careful Gawain, I hear a witch lurks around. Here watch for ambushes" muttered a big knight holding his sword shakily looking around.

"Bandits too…Watch for them too."

'Not very impressive', thought the witch. The knights she vaguely remembered from the days of her youth.

"I hear the king Uther wants to burn down the forest to find her" muttered the one called Gawain.

Poor bitch.

"She wouldn't stay in the forest. I hear she fled across waters to try to find the evil land."

"You're wrong Lancelot, I hear that she must stay in darkness or else the pure light of the midday sun will burn and mark her skin."

What a load of…

"She is by far an adulterous."

"A murderer."

"A woman of treason."

"Pure evil."

This was pathetic.

"Don't tell Merlin that."

Merlin…

"Yeah, he will smack us all if he found out what we had said. He's the only one who still truly believes in her."

The witch blinked. Merlin.

The knights all rose their group was small only three, all wearing poor or broken armour. It would have been easy for her to kill them.

But she didn't. If they hadn't of mentioned his name she wouldn't have bothered. She looked up at the sky as the three idiots left. Almost night, at midnight tonight she would be christened an adult by age. She swung through the branches making her way back.

Tomorrow she knew her fate.

Tomorrow she will be captured by Morgause and her lover the king of the west. Then her true training will begin.

The training of Evil.

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	10. A Time To Learn

Evil

~::~= Later/New Place/New character

~##~= Merlin's dreams

Chapter One: A Time To Learn

Merlin looked at the water before him. At first dread washed over him.

The first thought was that he had work to do. The sword Excalibur or the water spirits needed sorting out. His young life had swollen to so many responsibilities. Too many. That every time he saw something every day or average he'd feel the dread of having to think on his feet or fight for Arthur.

The second thought of dread was that it was a dream. That was certain. He felt a twinge of fear. But it was mostly weariness when he considered the possibility of it being an ancient childhood night mare when he was sure he had drowned.

But it wasn't that, it was night-time, in comparison to the blinding light, and the water looked cool and clean not the cloudy muck that he had relieved to fall in again and again and again in his younger age.

He looked around slightly, the moon's perfect sphere dancing on the dark black water separating on the wave's smooth waves.

Just then he saw a figure go up for air, he blinked at the woman (for it was a woman, even if the head was the only visible feature he could see) as she broke from the waves and climbed up from the bank.

He blinked at her his eyes wide. He couldn't see that well because of the darkness, but he still blushed and looked away when the woman put her dress back on. He only turned back when his mind was set at rest. He turned back. The woman had managed to put her dress back on. She seemed more alert of something yet her eyes couldn't see him.

Merlin had a sudden pain to see her. He walked through the waves of the water, it clung to his skin, yet he did not sink beneath the waves. Only when at last he recognised the woman did he come to a complete stop. His mouth opened slightly as he stared at her.

It had been only a year, and yet he had almost forgotten her face.

Morgana.

She was tying her long dark wet hair into a plate. She couldn't see Merlin she couldn't even sense a presence. Yet her eyes was constantly looking around her body rigid to making a run for it, she looked like a lone deer that knew there was a fox around.

Merlin blinked at her, he had a longing to touch her yet something was holding his hands down and invisible mud made it impossible for him to move.

Another figure suddenly came crashing through the leaves. Morgana didn't batter an eye lash to him, he was obviously not the one.

"Morgana," he cried his eyes wide with fright.

She didn't even look at him.

"Morgana, Morgause and her lover Cenred is heading this way with an army its war!"

Morgana still didn't move to look at him.

'Go with him!' Merlin screamed in his head willing her to snap out of whatever she was doing and pull herself together and _run_.

"I sense something Bailnor, I sense something new is approaching."

Merlin couldn't help his heart to flutter to her voice again, and the fact she could be talking about him.

Bailnor obviously ignored her, "they want to capture you, don't you understand? Go to the druids now they might protect you."

"The druids think less of me then the people in Camelot, if they take me in it will be for their own gain and not for mine. Besides I know the time and date I will get captured it is not be today."

Bailnor blinked at her before running for cover. "I was my hands of you child" he snapped running away as fast as he could.

Morgana smirked a little before walking away with her own speed, she did one final look around before she went into the bushes.

Merlin managed to slowly follow her, some distance away obviously someone up there didn't trust him.

Morgana seemed to be walking through the trees of the Camelot woods. She went deeper and deeper into the woods until she made it to a clearing. Merlin noticed it as the Druids meeting place.

She waited for something. Whatever it was she didn't have to wait for long for soon three figures went in front of the light of the moon before her.

One was an old man, one a middle aged man, and the other a young man just older than Morgana and Merlin. They looked at her summing her up. She kept her head down low.

"You came back" muttered the young man.

She said nothing.

"Why?" snapped the middle aged man.

"I need protection from king Cenred and his lover my sister Morgause."

"Why should we help you?" snapped the middle aged man.

"If you don't they will capture me, and then…Well I think you can figure it out for yourself."

"What can you do?" asked the old man.

The young man had walked down to Morgana and was slowly circling her. Merlin felt a tinge of jealously at the man for he was a good looking tall man, his blond hair was stunning compared to Merlin's black mop of hair. Morgana eyes never left the ground as the man's hands brushed her hair. Merlin's jealously was soon replaced with protection for Morgana. He wanted to break this man's neck.

"I can run" Morgana snapped "And fight" she snapped her head turning to the young man.

The young man decided now was not the time to take her up on that and jumped up the hill.

"Why do you wish to join us? Last time when we sent you away you didn't seem to mind."

"As my sister's numbers grow and her and my power, I fear capture too soon will put myself on a direct road. If I have protection I'll have a fighting chance."

They all looked at the old man. He was the one who obviously made the decisions.

He did a slow nod before turning and hobbling away. The two other men did a slow bow before turning to Morgana.

"You are to stay in the trees at night, in the day you are free to wonder, and don't do anything to shame the good name of the druids."

"Thank you sir" she mumbled bowing her head a little.

"And just to make sure you keep your word. We will track you by your mark."

The young man suddenly scratched Morgana hard into the left shoulder. It bleed red but then just as it had come it had stopped and now turned a sapphire blue.

Morgana sniffed at the two men, before walking to the trees.

"Where are you going?" asked the middle aged man.

"I need your protection not your food and shelter. It will do me well to stay on my own. I will come and go but when it only suits me." She snapped before leaping up a couple of boulders and was gone.

Merlin tried to follow her but he couldn't he had to stay here.

"What do you think of Alavar's decision?" asked the young man looking at the middle aged man. Alavar must have been the old man.

"I think, we need to keep an eye on her. Bad eggs don't turn good. She could be trouble, but I highly doubt that we can go against his word."

"Would be nice though, to have a woman live among us for a while. A pretty one too."

"I still don't trust her, son follow her. Don't let her out of your site."

"Yes sir." The young man muttered gladly before jumping over the rocks, to follow her.

Merlin growled trying to follow him. Yet he was still stuck to the floor. The middle aged man looked after his son before disappearing. Merlin felt something grow over him, he looked down as he bagan to sink into the ground around him. His dream was over.

It was time to wake up.

~::~ 

Merlin fell out of bed and hit the cold stone floor. He grabbed his head as pain shot through it. He hissed and counted to twenty until at last the pain stopped.

He walked through the bedroom flinging a shirt on, looking for a bandanna.

Red or Blue?

Red or Blue?

Blue or Red?

Red?

Blue?

Blue…?

The door suddenly opened. "Oh I'm so sorry Merlin, you're descent yet." Murmured a small voice.

He turned to smile to the girl. He grabbed the blue one and tied it on. Gwen.

Gwen smirked slightly her long dark brown hair reminded him of Morgana's black hair, only hers was curlier whereas Morgana was straight slight curl to her hair. Gwen wasn't the same sort of friendship as Morgana, she had taken a shining to Arthur though, or rather Arthur had taken a shining to her, so of course she spent even less time with him.

Merlin smirked at her as he pulled his jacket over his head. "What does your mistress need know Gwen?" he asked muffled by the small jacket he was trying to pull over his growing arms.

"She needs headache pills. Again."

Merlin smirked as he looked through the potions and pulled one out.

"You over slept." She blushed a little looking at her bare feet.

"Yeah I was having…A really weird dream."

"Oh what was it about." She mumbled stroking her hand onto the table and looking at all the different ingredients.

"I was dreaming about a…it was…Morgana."

Gwen's deep brown eyes blinked up at his face interested, "Merlin…Why are you dreaming about…Morgana? Did you have feelings for her? It is unwise to tell this to people…She did proclaim herself evil…"

Merlin frowned a little. "No. No it wasn't like that at all Gwen." He almost snapped.

"…You…You liked her…Didn't you?" Gwen murmured her eyes back on the table.

Merlin looked down at the floor, "a little." He said his eyes looking everywhere but her.

Gwen smiled and nodded, "no wonder after she left you were colder than a piece of fish." She said cracking her only joke of the year.

Merlin and Gwen had grown strangely close lately; after Morgana had left they both needed someone to be close to. He felt all alone, he held onto the hope that Morgana might have been kept locked up in her room, but before he could feel her presence, leave little notes in her medicine and above all know that there was another person in Camelot who had an idea on what he was going through.

He had been in a very dark place, he felt angry at Uther for…being Uther everything he did enraged him. He felt angry at Giaus merely because he hadn't woken up earlier to catch her. He felt angry at Gwen for getting caught by Uther even though she had to spend a week in a holding cell for punishment. He felt angry at Arthur for not standing up to his father and fighting Morgana's corner. He felt angry at Morgana for being too weak to carry on. But most of all he felt angry at himself for letting her go, he was the last person she saw, his last chance to change her mind…and he blew it.

Gwen, had been released from prison after much of Arthur's coaxing, she was working for Lady Dyera a lady in Camelot, he had never seen her for she was a very over weight and sickly lady.

Gwen didn't give up on him like other people had, she was always there for him, helping him with things no one else could. He didn't love Gwen, not like he did for Morgana. He didn't know why…Gwen was just as pretty as Morgana had been, not as smart but she couldn't be blamed, more sensible, could understand servant problems that Morgana just never could, she also didn't need to work her life style around his they were both in the same boat but…He couldn't put his finger on it, but Morgana's prickly and feisty nature that had at first attracted him to her and her overall confidence and independence just…seemed to always win him over.

Merlin shrugged a little bashful, Gwen giggled at him. There was a sudden noise off in the distance. They both looked out of the window.

The king was burning the forest again. He and his knights had started another "search party" or witch hunt as Merlin referred to it as. The forest was now in full flames. The pair knew that by tomorrow the more stupid mythical animals and creatures would make the forest grow again at night instead of moving on like the other ones.

Merlin's heart sank as he saw one of the knights dragging something, his eyes went wide his heart beat increasing but then it calmed for it was just a piece of clothing, not even one of hers. He turned away, the scene was depressing. He didn't know which was worse: killing her through the flames or finding her. He knew he had to do something, which was what his dreams wanted. But what? A million times (mostly on the weekends) he would venture out into the forest getting into all sorts of scarps with people and mythical creatures and yet…She was never there…Never anywhere. Maybe she didn't want anything to do with him, maybe she was too frightened of her fate to…try.

Gwen cleared her throat slightly as she picked up the potion. "I better get going" she mumbled a bit uncomfortable. "I can't meet you tomorrow I…Something has popped up Merlin" her eyes on the floor a little uncomfortable.

Merlin nodded "see you Gwen."

Gwen smiled a little she patted Merlin's cheek before saying "it'll get better."

Merlin nodded at her, he smiled a little sadly but nodded at her as she rushed for the door obviously late.

"I have to go Merlin, see you on Thursday bye."

~::~

Gwen walked out of the hut straight into the arms of Lancelot. Lancelot grinned as he held her against him for an entire second before letting her go, "so sorry Guinevere" he smirked at a flustered Gwen, he held his arm out "may I escort you to your lodge."

Gwen blinked at Lancelot who was still in front of her, but she caught herself enough to nod.

"Then, my lady" he smiled holding his arm out for her to take.

Gwen blushed as she walked into the market place with Lancelot on her arm.

~::~

Morgana fell through the trees as the fire was nearly upon her. An arrow went through her bad arm making it burn. She screamed holding it in her left arm.

"Shoot." She snapped through gritted teeth nursing her bleeding shoulder. She was too busy running back to Camelot to remember to dress the wound. She looked to the left then to the right to check she was alone.

"I 'jyst dweud pethau ar hap! Orennau! afal!" she mumbled her hand outstretched as she tried to us her magic, nothing, this cure was powerful, the only thing she could do was bandage it as best she could and prey it wouldn't start bleeding again.

Morgana sighed while wrapping up her shoulder.

She really needed to think these things through.

She then ran again for the sound of the knights and the crackle of fire was catching up again.

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	11. Moving On

Evil

Chapter Two: Moving On

Giaus' and the Great Dragon's story

Giaus sat at his work bench working on his potions for the day. That foolish boy Merlin had woken up early to assist the prince Arthur in preparation for the annual joist. Poor boy. Even if he was rather kluxish. It was still good to see him smiling again, he had had very little to smile about in the past year. He hoped now Merlin might get his act together. And the whole kingdom can finally finish reeling after such a tragic and bizarre turn of events that lead to the Lady Morgana's disappearance. Giaus though had often assumed Merlin had had more to do with it than he let on.

Today it was the usual remedy of potions to convenience rich snobs that were in no real danger. He had long missed his young man ambitions to be a magical surgeon that could stop all ills. What a foolish boy he had once been.

Giaus waked through the village finishing his deliveries, everyday: even with the threat of war and magic, was exactly like the day before. He had delivered the right potion with the right amount to the right people who gave the right thanks and the right amount of money. Perhaps that was why having Merlin around for all his faults and floors, felt on the most part like a breath of fresh air.

As he was heading back to his house…Perhaps…Perhaps there was time to meet an old friend. He had no idea why he was suddenly so drawn to this old friend and why he would put his neck on the line but…Perhaps this was the only way to safely rebel, the only thing in his day that wasn't like the day before or after. Or perhaps he just missed his old friend.

He found himself clambering down the old decaying stairs holding a torch (he didn't know how Merlin did it), and walked into the Great Dragon's prison.

As soon as his foot touched the ash there was a great flapping of wings as the huge beast watched him with interest.

Giaus chuckled "I know you are there old friend" he smirked to himself, and with that the great dragon flew down to Giaus' level onto his rock.

"It's good to see you too old friend. I'm pleased you have finally paid me a visit."

"It was nothing."

"I know."

Giaus nodded a little, he felt great pity for the great beast, it wasn't his fault that he was Uther's prisoner. Maybe the Great Dragon and Morgana held more in common.

"How is Emyrs?" asked the great beast.

"Merlin is doing fine. He is still a beginner in most of his duties but…He will improve."

"I know he will. He will soon release me you know."

"Oh?"

"Yes vey soon, I can feel it in the air" the dragon's head suddenly looked down at the old man "but you have not come to ask me about my wellbeing."

"What else can there be? We are both two old men with nothing better or stronger to do but to obey the rules before us."

"I suppose you are right, old friend. I must admit I'm on edge, so much of what should be isn't, and what can't is."

"What can that mean?"

"I sense the universe is cracking. For two paths that have been tinted together have worn much of reality away. Merlin and Morgana."

"Morgana's left."

"TO pursue her fate. Of evil."

Giaus held his head "what mad times we are in."

"I agree I cannot wait to be in distance of this dreadful place, to be in the heavens again and not in this mud."

"I agree old friend. I agree."

~::~

Arthur and Gwen's story

Arthur smirked as he walked through the village with the other knights in tow, Lancelot by his side and Gawain right behind him, sir Percival and Kay where following him too. Gwen could only roll her eyes at the group of blunts. Lancelot was tolerable but the others (especially Arthur) where complete planks of wood.

Arthur saw Gwen walking along the road her head down, she was trying to hide a smile that was on her lips. He smirked he got her.

Gwen looked away blushing, her eyes glued to the floor. She suddenly tripped and fell into a knight in front of her. She gasped muttering apologises. She was particularly wary now because of Uther's inner anger and neglect to the knights to not daily whip them into shape. Because of this many of the rogue guards had started to test the limits.

"Watch it bitch" snapped the guard turning to her darkly.

Gwen nodded "I'm sorry" she muttered trying to walk by.

"Listen here sweetie" he snarled grabbing her hair "if apologise to me, you say it to my face."

Somebody suddenly grabbed his wrist wrenching it behind his back. Another pair of hairs cracked his hand which held onto Gwen's hair.

"The lady apologised" said the man behind the guard's back.

"Get back to your work" the other said through gritted teeth putting an arm protectively around Gwen.

Gwen looked up to see Lancelot.

She immediately threw her arms around him hugging him, whispering thanks an apologises. Arthur pushed the guard away before turning to the two. For the first time in Arthur's life he felt a twinge of jealously go through him.

"We better escort you back to the palace Guinevere" he muttered with authority his hands on his waist.

His jealously did not go however when the three set off and Gwen hung onto Lancelot still saying her thanks to the two men.

~::~

Freya's story

Freya walked along the dirty road towards the castle her hopes were high with the promise of a new life. A job. She smiled slightly up at the sun.

Merlin walked across the village, he was carrying Arthur's sword and armour across town to a work shop where it will be fixed from the dents and cracks Arthur had achieved in his last tournament. He suddenly thought he saw Morgana. She was there, he was sure she was. Her long brown hair combed out, a long dark dress uncharacteristic yes, but still preserving her shape.

He ran after the woman as she set off again his heart beating fast.

"Morgana!" he shouted holding his hand out to touch her.

The woman turned. It was not her.

Freya stared at the man before her. His eyes seemed to fill with sadness suddenly and then suddenly looked away. He grinned his ears glowing red with embarrassment which she had to smile at.

"Sorry…" he muttered looking down bashfully.

"Not at all" she said struck too by the awkwardness of the situation. "I'm only sorry I'm not the woman you think I am."

"Yeah me too." The man suddenly looked up shocked. "Not…Not that I'm not glad I haven't met you! You look a fine girl-lady!" he hastily corrected, his cheeks matching the tone of his ears. "I'm Merlin by the way." He gushed holding his hand out.

Freya took it "Freya. Just Freya. I'm new here."

"Oh I guessed that I would have seen you before."

"Thank you." She said blushing with him.

Merlin nodded still shaking her hand before hastily letting go of it.

"I wonder if you can help me, I need to find the servant quarters in the out castle walls."

"Sure" Merlin gushed "I'll personally escort you." He said holding his arm out.

Freya bashfully took it.

Merlin lead her through the crowded Camelot streets to the castle outer walls to the living quarters.

What he didn't know was that someone was watching them both in the shadows. Morgana. She smiled a little seeing them both. She knew now Merlin would be alright without her.

~::~

Merlin's story

Merlin stood in front of the outer gates.

Merlin watch the sun set over the horizon, he breathed in the sent that went with it, he watched the ash covered land sadly, he looked at every mound and every hill half expecting to see her body there. But she was not there. She never was. He half wanted them to find her in the smoke field forest and bring her back or at least put her out of her misery.

He didn't think that. He knew he didn't. He was too selfish.

He heard a rustling behind him. He saw a woman in a dark green cape looking at him. Merlin blinked looking around just encase this lady was looking at someone else. There was no one else. He took a step closer to her.

"Can I help you?" he asked her.

The person shook her head before walking straight for the doors.

"Where are you going?" Merlin asked, only after the words had come out of his mouth had he known that he had spoken.

The woman turned but did not answer.

Merlin's heart banged uncomfortably "who are you?"

The woman stood still for a second.

"Who are you?" he asked again walking to her so they were face to face. Like he didn't know.

The woman looked at him before putting her head against his. She closed her eyes smelling his smell for what seemed like the last time. "Guess" she whispered.

"…Mor-Morgana?" he asked his eyes too closed.

"Merlin" she whispered in her old voice. Her old musical voice.

He opened his eyes hastily looking around.

She was gone. She must have used a lot of power to transport herself that quickly and silently. He looked around he ran into the woods calling her name pleading with her to come back.

But all fell on death ears. For she was gone.

~::~

Morgana's story

That was all two weeks ago. Morgana was now eighteen. An adult se had left the druid's protection that morning. She walked in the rocky snow of the upper mountains. She told herself if she stayed out of places that held civilisation. There was a chance that she could stay undetected from her sister past her eighteenth birthday.

She had been foolish to give herself away to Merlin. Not only uproot months of work trying to repair Merlin but also now she knew she could not return to Merlin. She had almost hoped Merlin could grow to love this new girl Freya and then maybe they could have a normal life together. Merlin though showed no interest in her though aside friendship which was both crippling and sweet. But she now didn't hold her breathe she'll make it through the night.

The odds were always stacked against her but, today she knew she didn't have a prey. She walked around ankle deep in show trying to find a cave. She knew she was not safe in the open where she held no camouflage wearing her customary black gown.

She looked up when she heard the snow rustle. Her neck snapped up perpendicular as she looked around the edges of hiss and dark shadows the snow was forming. Suddenly her eyes met with others in the shadows. She stayed perfectly still like a deer that had just seen a man in the bushes/

She suddenly bounded through the snow. Bits of white snow and ice flying this way and that as she slapped the ground with her make shift slippers. She heard them running behind her. Her heart banging in her ears she ran towards some trees in the distance. She might have a chance with some cover.

She didn't make it.

As she was ten feet away from the trees one shot up from behind a rock, she turned slipping slightly trying to turn. But before she could make it he with a stick that was on the ground struct her across the mouth with it. She fell with a thud onto the snow. Completely winded. She gasped trying to fget her breathe back and trying to get up.

Suddenly a shadow went across her and a foot rested onto her chest pushing her down. She looked up as she saw Morgause looking down at her.

"You cannot run away from your fate sister anymore."

She took away her foot.

Morgana shakily got up she looked from the soldiers that surrounded Morgause. She looked down 'Sorry Merlin' was all she could think when a single tear went down her face.

"Come, sister" Morgause said soothingly as she walked away.

Morgana looked back at the trees where she could get shelter…

But for the first and last time she turned away and surrendered to her fate following Morgause.

To her destiny.

~::~

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	12. Until I'm The Strongest One Of All

Evil

Chapter Three: Until I'm The Strongest One Of All

Morgana groaned as she awoke from her slumber. She blinked slightly as the pounding of her head arose again, she grabbed her skull as if she was trying to hold herself together, soon though the pain mellowed and she relaxed lying flat on the ground. She felt grass against her neck and face as she laid it flat. The surroundings around her was pitch black, night was obviously the course, but even the moon which usually shone done on her refused to be that generous tonight.

She finally managed to think beyond her normal sleepy thoughts to how she had gotten this headache; she remembered with a jolt her capture. Where was she? And who was she with?

She sat up growled as another headache blew itself through her bruised head, but this time she ignored it standing. She looked at the world around her; she was indeed in a field of some sort. Why would they dump her here? It had taken them nearly two years to get her they wouldn't let her go now. At first she had hoped that maybe she had somehow escaped through rescue or by shire fool's luck.

She should have known better. She had never had such luck and she never will.

Morgana Le Fey looked around the field again her eyes piecing through every bush, every blade of grass to find her answers.

She did find them. Horribly she did. Around her were pile upon pile of dead bodies, she couldn't believe it. She had to check again, what she mistook for hills or mounds of dirt where dead bodies. She ran to one (as best she could) and touched it to check it was real, it was. The bodies were barely cold in the night air. What had done this?

She looked around. Men, Women and children were all mixed together, thousands upon thousands. She grabbed her head. She was dreaming. She had to be. Please let her be. She was not, even though the image was gone, the smell of rotting flesh and the buzz of flies could not drown out this dream. Lights sparkled onto the corpses, Morgana recognised the spell as the first spell she ever learnt, but she wasn't thinking about that.

The light fell onto the faces, which she recognised as the faces of the druids. The druids? Not all surly? Nobody could wipe them out completely…She covered her eyes, if she hadn't of gone to them for help maybe they would be alive. She had killed them, she had to have done. The people who had given her protection, teaching, food…Had died because of it. She held her face as the confusion and tears fell from her face.

The lights which had been used to show her the bodies went back to its owner. Morgause. She stood up straight on the hill looking down calmly at her half-sister's sadness. Morgana stood, rage went through her as she thought of all the things that woman had done, she ran at her, ready to kill her.

Morgause simply clicked her fingers and spiralled to the top of a nearby tree. Morgana ran again at her only to have the same trick pulled. Her rage just increased every time the bitch eluded her grasp.

"COME HERE" she roared out a voice full of frustration and rage. The groaned trembled slightly and even Morgause seemed taken aback slightly.

"Keep your temper." She said infuriatingly calm "You want me? Come and get me."

Morgana this time used her magic, sick of this useless fight, "Hud wneud fel eich ewyllys. Hud wneud fel eich ewyllys. Gadewch i fy meindwr rage chi yma ac yn wir."

Morgause blocked it as best she could but still landed flat onto her back. Morgana felt herself charging at her again, this time hitting Morgause clean away.

Morgause fell dazed onto the floor groaning.

"Why did you kill them?" she asked, Morgause only chocked out a breath. "Answer me" she shouted.

Morgause stood smirking "the weak must be taken to make the strong survive. That is the way of the world. When we are born we are at the mercy of others. But when we become strong we have the right to take or give. Kill or be killed."

Morgana snorted she turned away and began to walk towards the trees for cover. She muttered stupid advice as she fell into the blackness.

"Why did you think I did that to your father?"

Morgana stopped in her tracks. Her father? "My father?" she asked not completely turning around to face Morgause.

Morgause smirked; she had known Morgana's inner curiosity about her family and the death of her father.

"Yes, myself and sisters-your sisters-planned it. We needed to get you away from your father, you would have stayed with him all of your life, until he died and then going into marriage and supporting heirs for the castle. Practically never leaving the walls, you would never have met Camelot or any of the others."

"How do you know this?" Morgana asked now fully turned around.

"It has been long written that you will be the most feared and spectacular sorceress in all the world and history, Morgana, you will be always remembered and recognised for years, decades, centuries, millenniums. Many of us will disappear in time, my name will not hold the same force as yours, but if you allow me to teach you, and you to be taught then…then you will be bigger and more wonderful than ever in your dreams. You will do things and feel things that even you will never dream of."

"Like what?" asked Morgana raising an eyebrow.

"Well…Like never be miserable again. And you are miserable aren't you?"

Morgana bowed her head. It was true. Maybe letting everything go and taking er destiny by the horns would be a lot easier and happier on her part than trying to escape it.

"Will you join me sister?" asked Morgause.

Morgana looked at her sister then at the bodies.

Kill or be killed.

She walked towards her sister taking her hand. "Yes" she said shaking her sister's hand hard.

Morgause smiled darkly her red lips pulled out into a smirk. "Through the magic and weapon work you will be an unstoppable force sister, where you will out shine all of us one day."

'And I'll defeat you' Morgana thought menacingly her eyes black 'one day sister my power will take out even you and Cenred. I will defeat you.'

~::~ 

Morgana was taken to Cenred's castle, she was trained by both. Morgause taught her magic and Cenred through his jousting and sword work.

Morgana hated them both. Morgause through what she had done to her and the way she always referred to her as 'sister' like she was supposed to feel something other than contempt for her. Cenred she hated through his violence towards her, his small mind thought he could somehow control her and use her for his own means.

There was not a day that Morgana did not suffer. It was a short cry from Merlin's teachings, Merlin did not expect her to get it every time and to use it immediately, the target was often the other party and if she hesitated or was not the victor she every time was punished through magic and through violence.

She at times was sure she was going to die through Cenred and Morgause. But she never did.

She instead became more ruthless and stronger every day; spired through by her destiny and her goal of killing the two of them she soon forgot Merlin's kindness and her teachings through Camelot's traditions. She instead mastered every tactic every possible way to win even if it meant being dishonest and treacherous.

Her only goal: to destroy everyone who ever hurt her.

~::~

Three years past, and soon Morgana was a master in magic and weaponry made her the queen of the chess board. She held no weakness; her mind was cold and calculating with perilous precision. Morgause was very care when and where she would use Morgana to take Camelot, she had learnt from her last run in with Morgana at Camelot that she needed to judge her actions just right to get Morgana and the prophecy to come true.

Morgana only remembered her old life at night, when it was too dark to see herself or to believe she was another person. She missed her old life in Camelot, she missed Gwen, Arthur, Giaus, Lancelot, even Uther (though only at her worst), but she most of all missed Merlin. She knew Merlin was happy, that is what she wanted for him. But she was still desperately lonely without him.

She refused to use her magic to see where and what Merlin was doing or up to. Her dreams as brilliant and as seeing as they were, could not break the boundary or force field of magic Merlin had around him. She had never dreamt of him, she didn't notice it when she was younger believing that she had practically spent a day thinking and seeing Merlin that her subconscious was sick of his face thus not drawing on him as a source of dream material.

She now knew the truth. That was Merlin's advantage over her; she could not dream his tactics when they would soon be in battle.

This she was glad of for even she did not want her side to win.

But this did make her incredibly lonely.

And she knew…

She knew one day…She would forget him altogether, seeing him only as her enemy, a pawn like herself in a cruel game of good and evil. And she was on the wrong side.

~::~

She had stayed there for five years now. Nearly all of Merlin's memory and her friends in Camelot were nearly gone now. Her perception of Uther and Arthur were now fully based on Morgause and Cenred's propaganda, Gwen she had grown jealous of through her succeeding the thrown of Camelot over her. Giaus she had completely forgotten about.

And of Merlin…? She refused to think of him. He was her arch rival and the five years of constant drilling of Cenred and Morgause's beliefs had partly worn her down. She saw Merlin as a Gawky teenager with big hands and feet trying to get into her bed, she also saw him as a weakling someone who needed the king's ward to grow a pair. She saw him as her soul enemy, soul threat, soul friend.

She was nearly all gone, her soul tar black, her eyes black with shades of red, her long nails no longer neat and prim was long and hard and shaper than the sharpest rock. Not that she needed them; her rouge power was now tame enough for her to wield it to devastating effect.

She was every bit a witch…

"Sister tonight is the final night" Morgause breathed. Eleven long years of waiting was nearly over. "Tomorrow we shall take Camelot."

"Congratulations" Morgana muttered, the two women were staring at the castle in the distance, the lights from the windows and outline of the moon's rays made Camelot look so much more than a load of rocks plastered together.

"Tomorrow night, we shall go straight to the heart of the castle, and kill everyone in sight, thus securing _your_ future."

Morgana snorted at Morgause's shire suck up words.

Morgause looked at her sister. Would she be ready? She was still too young. 23 years old. Too young. Could remember. A big part of her life situated there. Was she black enough? Was she dark enough? Was she evil enough to forget?

Morgause cleared her throat, "You are nearly ready sister for the final battle."

Morgana's head snapped to look at her when she said the word 'nearly' "What do you mean?" she snapped, five long years of tortuous training to be called nearly ready.

Morgause ignored her tone, "Cenred needs to teach you a few more moves with a sword. You cannot use your magic in the inner border; you have to be as silent as possible.

Morgana snarled. Morgause though stood firm. She looked down snarling before turning towards the castle where Cenred lived.

Morgause turned back to Camelot. Now Morgana will be ready. Soon she Morgause will be ruler of them all. She will. She will…

~::~

Morgana strode into Cenred's quarters where he was looking over battle plans for the final battle. "Cenred" she snapped walking up to him, "I was sent by Morgause to learn some sword or fighting trick for tomorrow's battle."

Cenred looked up from his plans. At first he looked confused. Then his eyes sparked by realisation, he nodded grinning. He got up slowly walked around her to get his sword. "Are you prepared for the battle?"

Morgana did not look at him as she stared straight ahead waiting for him to get ready for the lesson, until at last answering "I'm ready, five years is a long time to prepare. I will let what be become the future."

"True words" Cenred smiled turning to her with his sword in his left hand.

Morgana waited for instructions.

"What will you do when you are the queen of Camelot?"

"I have not thought."

"Have you thought of our future?"

Morgana just turned her eyes to him for a second before answering shortly "no."

Cenred laughed at her finality. He walked behind her as he went back to his desk, "pity…I would have thought I would have made more of an impact on you…"

"You have not."

"Well then Morgana, I must work on your impression on me, immediately."

Before Morgana could process, her thoughts or understand the meaning of his, Cenred grabbed her by the neck as he pressed her against the wall.

…

~::~

Morgause walked through the grounds to her castle. The sky was just turning dark and the forest was no longer safe…For her anyway.

She was just reaching the outer walls when she saw a figure running. She turned looking at the silhouette. She smirked as she realised that it was her sister. Now her heart was black enough.

~::~

'Why Merlin? Why?'

Morgana could only think as she held the tree her fingers digging into the bark. Blood was everywhere. Her head buried into the hard tree, her breath breathed in the dirt and bark. She was too hot…She couldn't feel anything but pain.

'Why Merlin? Why'

She only thought again and again. Her tears mixed in with the sweat and blood that fell from her face.

A light shower fell from the sky. It wasn't soon before it turned heay and she was soaked. She shivered against the tree crying still into it.

'Why Merlin? Why?'

…

…'Why?'…

…

~::~

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	13. Forgive Me

Evil

Chapter Four: Forgive Me

Merlin looked up at the hills surrounding Camelot. Something did not seem right. He frowned at the air surrounding Camelot, something seemed bad in it. He stared for a long while until; Giaus tapped him out of his trance.

"Any more looking out of that window, my boy, and you'll soon become an old lady's gossiper."

Merlin smiled tiredly but remained silent. He had had this odd feeling all day, he felt like something was screaming for him over the hills, under the grass, something deep, something hidden was calling for him….He shook it off. He had his responsibilities, Arthur had been given more thus he was granted more.

Uther was dying; it was plainly obvious, even Arthur knew this. The young Prince was nowhere near ready for the power, mind, skill and competence that it took to be a king. Yet he was willing to learn.

Merlin still missed Morgana awfully. He could not believe he had let her trick him like that…She was right in front of him…He was that stupid…He shook his head. He now did not know who to trust…Every woman (even men at his lowest) looked like Morgana. He was still seeing Freya. He liked her. She liked him. It was a very underwhelming relationship.

He often thought of Morgana and what she might have thought of the pairing. He knew she would approve, but hopefully be insanely jealous as well. He grinned at the thought of her green of envy, he knew she would never see him worthy or attractive enough to gain her jealousy but a man could hope.

A man…He often caught himself referring to himself as a boy, but he was now an adult of twenty three, still magic, still unmarried (much to Giaus' regret). He had grown his full size long and gawky, his body finally catching up to his arms and legs. His well-proportioned chest finally was good enough to show off, his mop of hair was much the same it dangling over his eyes.

Freya herself was a good looking woman, maybe not as bright as Morgana who had had a royal education for Arthur's wife. He could never tell Freya his magic. In his defence he had never thought of telling Morgana if he had not slipped up that one time. Freya could never understand his inner trials, pains, and the concept of magic. He had known her for nearly five years and yet he had betrayed no secret, hinted no second life, and showed no other sides of his character.

He did so miss Morgana…Giaus was a good listener, but he was still a novice at heart of magic, when he Merlin told Giaus of his inner struggles or the things he felt for the magic in his veins and the power they made him gain, he only need to look at the old man's blank face to see that he was totally lost. That's probably what he missed most of Morgana, next to her presence, wit and love, he missed her understanding of his troubles, she might not have been the most sympathetic ear on her head but just her acknowledge or hint of grief (which was always the way) made him feel like half the battle was fought.

He shook himself, "I must rest Giaus, for I feel like something is coming."

"Oh?" Giaus asked standing and hobbling with both his and Merlin's plates to the water bucket.

"Yes" Merlin muttered his eyes back out the window gazing intently into the shadows of the night, "something is I'm afraid my friend."

Giaus sighed, his young pupil had not be wrong yet in the coming years, he saw the warm bed, a warm fire and a good book slowly disappear before his eyes. "Shall I put my walking boots on tonight? My young advisor."

"It might do you well" Merlin smirked standing and taking his scarf off of the table and slipping it around his neck.

Giaus nodded and went to his walking boots.

Merlin smiled at the old man, until his face became serious and he exited out of the house to the hills.

~::~

He slowly made his way up the hill so he could make out everything around Camelot. He had grown considerably since he had first knocked down Arthur revealing himself to Morgana. He had become responsible and was usually the first person at the scene of the magician or monster's arrival to either guide them or fight them off.

He stood at the hill overlooking the whole of the land. He saw no one and nothing. How very odd. Usually he would have seen the person or the creature a mile off. How very odd. How very, very, very ver-…

…

BOOM!

Merlin jumped falling; the noise sounded like all of the loudness in the world had awaked and decided to tell everyone about it.

It was a crash of thunder and a flash of lightning; it was the loudest he had ever heard. But by it his eyes fell upon a small army surrounding Camelot. There was not many a few hundred, nothing compared to the thousands of knights Camelot had trained in Uther's paranoia. Merlin knew their battle plan instantly, surround Camelot and then kill the knights, and then kill and burn Camelot, it had been done enough times for him to know it off by heart.

He would help from the side-lines while the intruders were slaughtered by the knights. He kept low.

He saw the leaders run from the opposite hill. Three hooded figures; two clumped together the last one lagging slightly.

His eyes were trained onto them knowing they were the heart of this army's body. Rain splashed onto his face as the universe waited for a crippling battle.

The knights soon appeared from the commotion outside and a battle soon ensued. Merlin waited motionlessly his face and body know dripping wet as Arthur and his many knights came out into battle.

The battle was on for less than five minutes when the army was half gone, the three leaders of the small invasion had now joined, it took him seconds to work out they were magic too. Both of them using the raw electricity of the storm to their advantage, to devastating effect.

Merlin calculated that it was time Emyrs' time had come to intrude on the battle. He skilfully went down the hill his dark shape blending into the shadows until he was at the battle. He used the darkness to his advantage keeping out of the watchful eye of Arthur. His shire speed and agility from is magic made his a few victories amongst the enemy.

Soon the army lay dead at the three hooded foe's feet. They stood their motionless as the knights slowly surrounded them. Arthur went to the front of them. He smirked his hair and face dripping from the rain. "Any last words?" he smirked.

"Mynd ag ef i lawr nawr!" one shouted quickly. All of the knights were grabbed by the earth beneath their feet, holding them waist deep in the mud.

Merlin decided to wait until the right moment arose for him to free himself.

Arthur struggled snarling. How did he not see that coming?

The one in the middle turned to her right before removing her hood "quite carless really Arthur, I really expected better" Morgause smirked.

Merlin felt a growl and snarl fall against his face as he stared in hatred of this woman.

"Arthur" Cenred smirked removing his hood.

"Cenred" Arthur snarled.

Morgause only laughed at the knight's glares and growls. "The day is ours sister."

Merlin's heart dropped three levels. No. Please God No.

Morgana pulled off her hood. Her head down slightly her eyes glaring through her wet and lacy hair, staring straight at nothing itself.

Merlin blinked. Morgana had changed so. It was like all the light and joy of her youth had simply been sucked out of her life itself. He wanted to run to her and enclose her in his arms protecting her from these parasites that had changed her so. He struggled but the Earth's ground was a strong element even for Merlin. He waited for the right moment to free himself.

The knights themselves had descended into utter chaos; they were struggling and shouting trying to break free. Others of the lesser knights were trying to make deals or bargains with the witch. Morgana remained unmoved.

Merlin growled he had had enough "Rhad ac am ddim i mi!" He jumped out of the Earth his eyes golden standing defiantly in front of Morgana. A hush went over the knights as gawky Merlin stood a Warlock, proud in front of the witch. Morgana looked at him her head not rising.

"Morgana-"began Merlin holding his hand out dripping with the rain.

Before he could say anything more to her, Morgause snapped "finish him!"

Morgana held her arm up rigidly snapping "marw!"

Merlin fell back his body slamming again and again onto the ground and solid stone that made up Camelot.

Merlin refused to combat it.

She snarled "Anffurfio! RIP a thorri. A lladd!"

Merlin's eyes widened in pain as his insides inertly twisted and snapped. He held his sides his eyes nearly flowing with tears looking at her.

Morgana gritted her teeth "rhoi'r gorau iddo!"

Merlin's legs snapped completely in half, he screamed but still refused to hold a hand to her.

Morgana felt tears in her eyes. She had not cried unless she was in the utmost pain. And she was. "Mynd" she cried looking away now.

Merlin felt himself slapped across the face hard.

Morgana felt tears dripping down her face "os gwelwch yn dda ... dim stopio ... ..."

She stared straight at Merlin. She had forgotten the power he held over her. The way he could make her feel. Something came over her. She shook her head the small drops of rain falling. She stared wide eyed at him. "No" she mumbled. She couldn't let him win. "NO" She shouted grabbing her sides and falling to the floor.

She fell to her knees fear and the pain of the last two years had left her crippled. Without a second thought she ran to him picking him up. She had broken him. She had broken him so badly…She put a hand to his face. He blinked at her slowly. He was still alive…

She held him against her. Her long wet hair falling onto his face slightly. He smiled at her. He forgave her. Did he?...Yes he did…He was…Forgiving her. She kissed his forehead. This moment was hers. The only moment she had had for five years.

"What do you think you are doing Morgana?" snarled Cenred walking towards her.

Merlin felt Morgana tense in fear towards Cenred. He tried to move but he could barely feel a muscle over the pain. Morgana laid Merlin down carefully removing her cloak and wrapping it around Merlin tentatively before standing and looking at Cenred. Merlin stared at Morgana's thin shape, her arms were covered in bruises, and when the lightning flashed he could see finger marks and deep wounds on her neck and face. What had they done to her?

"I won't do it" Morgana whispered shaking her head. Her body stood firmly in front of Merlin, not moving a muscle so as not to betray her fear and weakness.

"I knew you wouldn't be able to do it sister" Morgause snapped at Morgana.

"This is the last lessen I shall teach you Morgana: even a weakling can kill a man when he too is weak." Cenred snarled advancing to Merlin.

Morgana blocked him standing in front of the king "no!" she shouted panicking.

Morgause and Cenred walked slowly to Merlin. Morgana shook her head slightly walking backwards. "No, you can't go near him!" she shouted charging at them and pushing them away.

"Are you out of your wits? Sister?" shouted Morgause on her back glaring at her.

Cenred had had enough "enough!" he shouted pushing her to the ground. "Let me pass" he said while drawing his sword.

"NO!" Morgana shouted standing at blocking him again. "I won't let you hurt him!" She this time hit him in the back making him fall forwards.

Morgause saw her trying to hurt her lover and grabbed her from behind.

"Plu! Plu!" Morgana sang out making Morgause fly off of her back and slamming against the trees dazed.

She saw Cenred inches away from Merlin's groaning body. She ran her head and body flapping in the wind "I won't let you kill him like you did to me!" she shouted taking out her sword.

King Cenred turned just as a flash of lightning blinded everyone.

When the whiteness melted away…Morgana was crouching slightly her sword fully through King Cenred. He gasped a couple of times; he then looked at her shocked, before falling onto her. Morgana glared straight into Cenred.

Merlin stared at her, he tried to rise, but his body was worthless and crippled.

Morgana pushed Cenred slightly making him fall onto the ground. Dead.

She looked at the tress. Morgause was gone. She didn't turn as she stamped onto the ground releasing all of the stunned knights and prince.

She turned to them her eyes tired and grateful.

She slowly advanced to Merlin. With each step her confidence grew. She had beaten it. She was free. She was-

Arthur walked in front of her.

She stopped in mid step, her eyes wide.

Arthur looked at her with utter hatred and contempt.

She took a step forward. He raised his sword blocking her.

Morgana looked around him at Merlin. He was being taken away by the Knights.

She looked at Arthur before dodging around him and running after Merlin. She was soon grabbed though.

Arthur grabbed a fistful of her hair ruthlessly and spun her around making her fall onto her back. Morgana stared up at Arthur in disbelief.

She heard Merlin groan Arthur's name.

Arthur turned with his knights. His eyes never leaving her.

Hatred in them. And utter contempt for what she had become in her absence.

They walked through the doors of Camelot. And with a BOOM.

The door was closed. Morgana raced to them banging on them pleading and crying for redemption.

No use. They hated her.

The rain dribbled down her face and hair as she pressed her forehead against the door. Tears and sadness was falling with the rain onto the grass.

What had she done?

She had killed her sister's lover.

Her sister had abandoned her.

Arthur thought she was nothing more than a witch. He probably only saved her because she had killed his arch rival).

She had shown her true powers and the capability of them. She had shown she had no hope of redemption.

She had…hurt…maybe killed Merlin. He might be dying.

Another wave of hysteria wavered through her as she tried to get through the door. But it was half hearted.

She looked up at Camelot her only true home. And then turned her back on it.

She turned and began slowly and shivering, made her way to the higher hills. Where she could stay there in peace and hiding.

She looked back at the castle in a futile hope…

Nothing.

She turned resigned once again.

To a life as a witch. An evil witch.


	14. Part Three: Together At Last

Evil

Part Three: Together At Last

Morgana sat in the darkness of the moon. The universe was still reeling. She smirked slightly at the fact. The blanket was draped around her shoulders as she looked out of the ledge of the mountain where she lived.

Merlin was beside her asleep. He often visited her. She enjoyed his visits; it wasn't the company, decent conversations or even sex which she loved about Merlin's visits. It was the feeling of love.

She smiled happily while the moon finally began to gaze through the large grey clouds to give some light. She was the happiest she had ever been in a long time. Morgana looked away suddenly. She remembered.

She was pregnant.

She looked down her eyes closed sighing through her nose. Everything was finished. Time was moving on. And with it her security too. Will Merlin stay if she told him? He would…But she could not stay here in her cave with an infant. She sighed her hand now in her hair pulling it. She was getting stressed.

The Universe was moving on.

And so she should move on.

And by that, she knew that she might change, lose her focus, or leave the land forever.

She lay back next to Merlin in the dark. She still had tonight.

She still had tonight….

~::~

I KNOW VERY SMALL CHAPPIE! BUT MORE WILL COME!


	15. Isolation

Evil

Chapter One: Isolation

Morgana Le Fey. She liked it. It was ten times better than the other names they had thought for her.

She sat in her bed humouring her new name. Morgana Le Fey. Whoever had thought of it they knew how to flatter a girl.

She smiled again. She had had this conversation a long time in her head and yet it never got old. She reached for the needle that lay on the table. She got out some iron thread that she had 'borrowed' from one of the houses below.

She had lived in this cave for almost three years. She had forgotten and was liberated from her age. She estimated though that she was around 28.

Her humour dwindled when she took the needle and iron thread trying to slot the thick metal into the thin needle hole.

She had no need for a disguise, no need for any sort of magic. She needed the odd trick of course, she never survive without her cunning or her tricks. She had too many enemies to disown her magic completely. Her sister wanted her for revenge for her lover's murder; and Uther wanted her because she was his biggest threat.

And she?

She wanted to be left alone. That was all she ever wanted from the start: to be left alone.

She sighed her eyes flashing to the edge of her 'home'. Only for a moment, she felt the pleasurable feel of the thread through the needle hole. Her eyes went back down to her work pulling the needle along the thread until there was no risk of it losing the thread.

There were consequences to her actions. She had known that from when she had run away. She could have gone back to her sister and apologise, her sister loved her own destiny more than her lover. She could have scaled the Camelot walls going to Uther's chamber and there and then begging for his forgiveness. Both could have worked. But she didn't want any of that.

She had instead gone to the outskirts of Uther's kingdom, living the life of a peasant or a hermit. Found a cave where no one could sneak up on her. She could also see the world stretching out for her, it was the first sense of freedom she had had in her adult life.

She did as much good as she could do to make everyone try to understand she was a good witch. She gave a woman a potion to make herself pregnant to keep a knight she adored with her. She gave a knight unbreakable armour because he was fighting a king that had taken his thrown. A great green knight and his wife had written to her for a request of a green scarf that meant no one could take his life.

And so it went on. She asked no questions, knew who or why they wanted these gifts for, but she was in no position to be picky. She did her bit and could only ask they used the spell wisely.

She pierced her skin with the needle and thread. She managed to push it in with little discomfort and slowly began to sew in her arm.

Morgana Le Fey. She really didn't know whether to be flattered or plain grieved.

She carried on sewing into her arm. Up and Down.

Up and Down.

Up and Down.

She only knew that she was doing good, was that the universe hated it. And it showed:

She was literally and figuratively falling apart.

~::~

She lay in her bed. Her sewn up arm stinging and stiff lay over her stomach. She looked out of the cave entrance to see the moon just visible through the dark clouds. She stared at it. She felt a wave of sadness come over her that normally came when the night came.

She missed him.

She was still missing him. How long had she last seen him? He was no longer that clear in her head she hadn't seen him for so long. He was still wrapped in mystery of whether he had lived or died.

Merlin.

How old was she? She didn't normally miss him but when she did she felt the tears and disbelief of where he was and that she would never see him again.

She could have killed him. In fact she probably did knowing her damn luck. She didn't control herself, she let it all get to her and made Merlin pay the price. She looked down at her hands. She knew she was capable of so much more than this. She could have the cave lift above the clouds to become a mansion with velvet silks, brilliant colours shining through and the best food in the land. But did she want that?

She was so tired from running. She wasn't exactly feeling great right now in her self-pity but still it had its perks.

She fell backwards onto the bed. She hadn't spoken to another human soul in so long…She was too lonely for it to be healthy.

She closed her eyes in a bid to try and get some sleep. The herbs she needed for her potions and spells did not water or pick themselves. She needed some wool too…For the Blacksmith's wife's burns…And she mustn't forget that…

She was asleep.

_She saw it first. Great swirls of green red and blue mixing together in a swirly of colours. They mixed in the middle of her vision making and forming shapes she had never seen before in her life._

_The sounds appeared next, great hooves and shouts mixed into the mixture of shapes and colours. They were forming together into a picture…_

_She saw the sound and the colours mix into each other until…_

_Until…_

_They were knights. The colours turned into navy blue, cutting iron and flabby pink flesh. The sounds added onto the colour until the illusion of life was made._

"_We've almost got her now." Shouted one of the thugs._

_They were chasing something…At first she thought it was herself but…The presence was something she had not felt in a while…_

"_Shoot her! Shoot her!" jeered one galloping on a chestnut horse._

_One of the more agile ones slowly loaded his cross bow and then…_

_Then…_

_SNAP!_

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

She opened her eyes. What was that? Someone had cried out in the night. And it was not her. She had been dreaming again.

She still occasionally did still dream. Not as vivid as this one was though.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

She was sitting up in a second. Someone was hurt. And by her dream was being hunted. She jumped from her bed and ran down the mountain in the hope of finding the knights and the person hurt. She didn't know who the person was but that they were in great danger.

She knew where the forest was as she ran for it; she had been in this prison way too long to not know every rock and every tree.

~::~

She heard them before she saw them. They were still looking around for the person. Morgana felt a twinge of guilt knowing that they were looking for her and this person was in danger because of her.

She walked out of the trees making herself fully visible out of her hiding place.

The knights all saw her, they all grinned their stupid grins before walking towards her. Morgana waited. She knew that this was technically cheating and if she wanted to she could strip these flee bags to the bone one by one. She waited until they were all in range before shouting:

"Bod yn Dyn dim mwy. Ond fod yn Ape!"

It was quite amusing. She had to lean on a tree for she had not tried to cast a spell this powerful in years. The effect was absolute. The knights turned back to the primitive forms they had been spurred from. Apes.

Their armour at their knees the knights now apes jumped up and down screaming and making the loudest noise she had ever heard. She took a single step forward for them to run back retreating hoping to get cured by Giaus.

Morgana smiled. As soon as her light-headedness wore off she went to the groaning body which lay in the snow in a clearing. She put her hand out to touch the person, but before she could the man turn to reveal…

Merlin.

She took a step back. He was badly wounded and had a lot of blood loss. She looked around half hoping for something to present itself for the better good. Nothing came. She turned around as if to leave.

She heard him groaning.

She turned her eyes soft looking at him. She turned around one last time to see if there was anyone else. Hell even if one of the knights came back she would have sooner given Merlin to them than to take him herself.

None came.

The universe must be testing her.

~::~

Merlin groaned, his chest felt like it was on fire, his eyes burnt in their sockets, his left leg hurt like the blazes, and not to mention his arrow wound in his side. He went further into the pillow and deeper into the blankets as if he was a child again and the sun had just risen.

For some reason he almost forgot he was an adult. Why? He concentrated. Was he an adult at all? Was it all a dream and any moment Giaus would wake him up to tend on the Prince Arthur and then he could play in the sun with the other children. No he was an adult. He had to be. Yes! He was! He thought his mind still adrift with dreaming. As to why he was feeling like a child.

Something clicked.

The smell…He had smelt this scent for so long. He breathed it in. Nostalgia and pleasure went through his lungs as he racked his brains to remember the scent.

He felt something cold and wet press against his throbbing head, his eyes fluttered but couldn't yet open.

Who did that scent belong to? He suddenly remembered with a start. Morgana.

He opened his eyes. But immediately closed them as the light sun smacked him hard in the back of the head. He groaned again. But once again when the throbbing stopped he forced his eyes to open. This time he could open them without having the same welcome. He looked up at her.

She was still pressing a wet flannel against his hair. She hadn't seemed to have noticed his awakening, as she carried on looking into space.

"Morgana…" he found himself croaking.

She blinked down at him with a start. Her head went back slightly, unsure what to do.

Merlin managed to sit up staring at her. It had been so long. He reached for her face, but she took a step back. Merlin was confused as to why she was acting like this.

The sun began to filter through the clouds and into the cave. Morgana turned fully to the sun light, as if waiting for something. She closed her eyes and then…she burst into flames.

Merlin's eyes were the size of dinner plates as he stumbled from his bed and went to the ash on the ground where she had burnt into. He took great fistfuls of the grey dust as if trying to put it all back together.

This was a dream….this was a dream…Please let all of this be a dream.

Suddenly the ash began to fly to the back of the cave in the shadows. It began to reform and then get colour. Morgana at last stepped away dusting down her slightly dusty dress.

Merlin looked up at her wide eyed still lying on the floor where the ash had been.

Morgana walked back to him as if nothing had happened. She tenderly took Merlin's arm and led him back to her bed. Merlin was shocked how firm it was since three minutes ago it was dust molecules. Morgana managed to put him back into bed and resumed her position of dabbing his forehead.

"Morgana…What was that?" asked Merlin in a strangled tone.

She looked up at him "what was what?" she asked like she didn't know.

He had forgotten what it was like for her to talk to him, had it really been twelve years since he had last spoken to her.

"That!" he snapped, "That fire and ash thing!"

"Oh. That's it?" she said now teasing him.

He rolled his eyes now his patience had really run dry.

"I do that when the sun comes through the clouds. I think it has something to do with I'm upsetting the balance and that mumbo jumbo."

Merlin blinked now totally taken aback.

"You're tired. What were you doing anyway? Last night."

"I was looking for you."

She checked her blush, "why? I could have killed you the last time we met."

Merlin rolled his eyes. He knew from bitter experience that there was no talking to her when she was like this. He stared at her skin. He saw the stitches. "Morgana…" he started.

She looked down at him. She followed his gaze and realised what he was getting at. She stood; she was not going to answer all of his questions in one sitting. She had work to do anyway. She nimbly jumped off the edge of her cave and ran down, slightly showing off with the speed she was going at.

She grinned to herself imagining what Merlin was thinking and his amazement to her decent.

She moved quickly dodging rocks as they formed further downhill, and then with a bound she was at ground zero. She was breathing hard, the stitches around her waist tightening and then releasing with every breath.

She then trotted to her herb garden to see if any Belladonna had grown. Trying to put to the back of her head that the man, she had been missing and loving all of this time, was in her bed in her cave.

~::~

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	16. Old Ground

Evil

Chapter Two: Old Ground

It was night when she made it back. The moon itself seemed larger than it had last night, she pondered whether it had come closer to the sky or that a blue moon was upon her. She did not care of course. As long as she didn't think of Merlin. She would be fine.

She was fine.

She had to be fine.

She wondered about Merlin as she walked up the long steep hill to him. She had thought of little else as she harvested and brewed her herbal remedies and pressed them flat to make them into potions, until jarring and bagging them for future use.

Would he like her…Did he ever really like her? All of these questions…She looked down, but then sighing carried on trudging up the hill.

~::~

She put her head in the cave looking around for Merlin.

He seemed to be waiting for her; he sat up his arms crossed looking out to her, the picture of health. She tried not to do a double take seeing his wounds were fully healed. Her expression turned soft, "you look well."

He played along "healing spell."

She nodded; he still looked stern with his arms crossed and his bolt upright position on her bed. _On her bed. _But his eyes and expression softened with hers. She was glad. At a time like this after a hard day of harvesting, she was not in the mood for talking about her problems and arguing.

She pulled up a stool silently and set to work cooking. She chopped vegetables into huge chunks and placed them in her small cauldron filled with boiling water. She then stirred it silently, she didn't need to but she had to do something or else a conversation would start.

Merlin watched her silently. She couldn't tell if he was watching her every move or deep in thought obviously sorting out all of his questions and picking out what to ask her first.

Soon the vegetables were well cooked and ready. She wished she had some meat or fish to put into it, but she hadn't had time to look in her snares or nets to see if she caught a rabbit or piece of cod.

She poured out the stew into two wooden bowls and placed a wooden spoon in each. She then walked to Merlin a bowl in each hand and her left foot dragging the stool by its leg. She sat silently and gave him a bowl and then began to eat hers.

"What is this?"

"Ratatouille."

"Oh."

"What's in this?"

"Carrots, beans, marrow, pepper, potato and onions."

"It's good."

"Thank you."

They sat in silence eating. No one knew when to speak, Morgana was waiting for Merlin's questions and Merlin was considering his questions and hoped that Morgana might explain on her own behalf. She didn't.

He cleared his throat.

"Why don't you return?" he asked deciding on that question was the easiest to answer.

"You know why."

"Tell me again."

She looked at him and then adverted her eyes to the outside night "because Arthur hates me, Uther hates me and that's all that matters. Five years ago I tried to take Camelot, destroy Arthur and yourself all in one night. We came so close. I came so close to losing it all. Or gaining it all -however you want to see it! And now the only way I can make sure in myself that I'll never lose control like that again, I _have_ to stay here so I'm out of my sister's reach, Arthur's reach and yours too."

"Why did you save me then?"

"I'm not heartless Merlin, many people might think I am, but I'm not. And I want to repay my debt to you."

"Debt?"

"For almost _killing_ you the last time we met."

"You saved my life."

"I spared you."

They looked at each reproachfully waiting for the other's move. Merlin decided to change the subject away from her destiny "I missed you. I waited for you."

"I'm sorry."

She did look saddened by that when he checked her expressions. "What about Freya?" she asked perking up a little at him.

"She's fine."

"Have you and her-"

"No."

"You don't even know what I was about to ask!"

"I don't need to know we've done nothing…We _did _nothing."

"You and her lost interest."

"She wanted something which I couldn't give her."

"What?" she asked curiously.

"Me."

"You're too final with people."

"I don't really care; either I give all of myself or nothing at all."

"How quaint." Her voice was dripping with sarcasm but she slightly admired him for that.

They were finished with dinner. She went to take his bowl, but he grabbed her wrist and stared at her long scars which were sown together with thick wire.

"How did you get these?"

"Aftermath."

"Of what?"

"Staying here, I need to sacrifice my comfort for staying here." She was being strangely calm about it.

"Why-"

"Everyone's got a plan Merlin, call it fate, some God at work, or just common sense to go down a certain path, but if you disobey it then prepare to have serious consequences."

"Like what?"

She thought "do you remember how it always rain when you and I where together. No, when you and I came into contact that wasn't violence? Or how fate intervenes when we are too close? That's what I'm talking about. But now I'm radically going against the tide and because of this certain things are happening to me, my skin tearing and scaring for no reason is one of them."

"And the others?"

She sighed she really hadn't had a decent conversation for months "different things for different days, I once turned green for the day, my hair falls out and then months later sporadically grows to great lengths, the sun sometimes makes me burst into flames and the moon can turn me into stone for a night. _Lots _of things happen to me, which are not very pleasant Merlin."

He knew he had touched a nerve. He had a lot more questions for her but he knew she was beyond answering. She was looking out of her cave entrance biting hard on her lower lip making it bleed. He had seen that expression on her face a million times in the past: she was too stubborn to show her true distress.

He put his hand over her swollen sown up one. "I can try to fix it."

"Merlin…"

"Healing spell" he said grinning at her. She had missed it.

"Go ahead" she muttered "knock yourself out."

"O ysbryd y ddaear, pŵer i mi. Dadwneud pwythau hyn ac yn gosod ei rhad ac am ddim."

Her hand felt slightly tingly and then felt as if she had pins and needles in her arms. Her stitches felt tighter, so tight she felt her skin would tear and then it loosened making her skin sag slightly and then snap back into place. She looked at her hand; it looked like her hand five years ago. She wiggled her fingers feeling the muscles not strain and feel tight. All the way up to her elbow she was free. She knew by the end of the week she'd have to re-sow it but it still made her smile.

"Thank you" she said to Merlin smiling for the first time.

"You could have done it yourself; I did teach you that spell."

"You, have the power to grant life and heal. I have only the power now to destroy and take lives. That's the way things should be."

They looked at each other shyly, the ice had been broken and they both knew the other hadn't changed for the long time they had been apart.

~::~

I know this is kind of short but I hope you enjoyed it enough to review!

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	17. Kidnapped

Evil

Chapter Three: Kidnapped

"You'll have to go soon" Morgana muttered fixing one of her dresses while Merlin was fixing one of her chairs.

She concentrated hard on pushing the needle and thread in and out in a small pattern while Merlin was muttering spells and enchantments trying to fix her broken chair. She tried not to think of him in her home, she had had dangerous thoughts as she had lain on the floor that night. Even now part of her wanted to stab her small needle into the back of his neck, she could not feel comfortable with him a small distance from her, every fibre in her wanted him dead, every self-conscious thought was planning on his murder or imagining her nails scratching his neck as she strangled him.

She shuddered involuntarily, it scared her that she still had the same urges even though years of self-harm and sacrifice did very little to cool the red fire of urge that filled her chest and being every moment she was in his company.

Merlin grunted before asking her in awe "what did you do to get this chair in such bad condition?"

She sighed "I threw it out the cave and down the cliff. Happy?" she didn't mean to be so cutting with her words; she was grouchy and grumpy after her sleepless night. She couldn't let herself sleep because she worried she might sleep walk and strangle him in their sleep.

Merlin chuckled turning to look at her his grin going ear to ear.

She did smile back; his smile had that power to make her do that. "You'll have to go soon" she said despite herself.

Merlin nodded smiling "I must be boring you" he muttered turning back to him work.

"No…Not entirely" she said turning her eyes back to her dress, a black thing which she had fixed, patched and sewed until the poor thing beyond recognition.

She had undress in front of Merlin, only when he was snoring sound asleep did she pluck up the courage to strip and switch her dress to another. And even then she made sure she was on the other side of where he was facing. She had never felt so angry with herself in her life; she knew Merlin would not hurt her. But still old habits didn't die overnight.

She stood up after giving up on her dress in disgust, "I need to start work" why was she explaining herself to him. _To him. _

Merlin nodded "I'll be gone before you return."

She nodded "good."

They didn't look at each other, Morgana picked up her basket before walking to the entrance.

"I take it…" he stopped, she turned to look at him, but he didn't look at her as he spoke "I take it I cannot come back."

Morgana looked out at the large sky which surrounded the woods underneath it, "it'll be best if you stayed away. It's not healthy."

Merlin stood turning to her fully, he took her hand in his, "you're the bravest person I know Morgana." He didn't smile he looked deadly serious, his sky blue orbs going through to her snake green.

She took a step backwards her hand coming out of his "try to walk down the cliff Merlin; I fear you'll break your neck if you try to skid." And on that line she turned and skidded down the rocky cliff before walking into the sea of trees, only when in its camouflage did she feel the burn on her back subside when she knew he could not see her anymore.

She flattened her dress and patted her hair slightly before walking deeper into the wood.

~::~

It was past evening. She had spent the day wondering through the forest, she didn't mean to ramble; she walked from shadow to shadow, her mind elsewhere. It was obvious what she was thinking about.

Merlin.

She was thinking back to their childhood and adolescence when they walked hand in hand around the Camelot grounds talking like they were best friends awkwardly side by side thinking the average childish and teenage things that were expected of them. But then it all changed and they both woke up, and grew up.

Was what she was feeling natural? Scrap that. Was what she was feeling right? Scrap that too. Was what she feeling…Safe? No. No of course it was not. She was playing a dangerous game, she was constantly dancing on a fine line of Good and Evil, she didn't want to bring Merlin into that.

She often wondered what if she had stayed with Merlin that night she had attacked him. Would she have been forgiven after a while by Arthur, Gwen, Giaus, Uther and the others? Would she have been thrown in the dungeons or sentence to death? Or would the call been too great for her and she would end up slaughtering them all? There was no point in speculating. She had been doing that all her life.

How was she not evil?

What had she done to escape her fate?

What made people believe she was evil?

Was she really evil?

Could she ever be with Merlin?

She took a breath in. No. No, she was not doing that any more. She was stronger than that and she will keep being strong. She stopped in her footsteps. She was going to find Merlin, she turned around, and maybe if she hurried she might catch him and explain herself. Maybe he will stay with her and they can work something out. She smiled maybe he lov-

Something cracked and she tensed. Her head snapped in the direction of the sound, her heart beat hard in her chest, she was like a Leopard in the long grasses of Africa, her entire frame ready to run away. She relaxed after five minutes of staring out the bush which the sound had come from. She turned around and began to walk back to her cave hoping Merlin was still there.

A bush near her rustled. Once again she tensed; she walked to the bush that had moved. She slowly looked at it to see if any noticeable dangers were before her, she could see no feet or any new movement coming from its emerald branches. With this new confidence she drew her hand out and slowly pulled the branches out so she could see the inner workings of the tree.

Three pigeons scattered making her jump.

She took a couple of steps back putting her hand over her chest. Her breathing slowed, making her laugh out loud at her own foolishness. She stepped away still keeping eye contact with the bush just encase she was mistaken. No. No there was nothing to worry about; she had spent too much time in that cave.

She turned to look ahead, but just as she turned, out of the corner of her eye she was sure she saw something. She was sure she had seen a face. She turned her face serious again.

The bushes around her were all moving all at once, she was surrounded. She was sure of it.

She stood her ground for a few minutes trying to square out this invisible army. She suddenly leapt out of the clearing and she was running, she was running for her life. She turned her head to see five men running after her. They weren't knights, they weren't Morgause' army, they were…druids?

She stopped staring at them her face a mask of confusion, as they surrounded her. "What is the meaning of this?" she asked, she thought druids were peaceful folk who kept to the shadows.

She was rewarded with no answer. The head druid stepped out of the circle, towards her, "Morgana Le Fey, we charge you with great crimes against us."

Morgana blinked what had she done…she suddenly remembered when Morgause had killed their village, woman and children…all dead. She blinked "I did not kill them, my half-sister did, I had no part in it."

The head druid was not listening he merely snarled at her before leaping straight at her. Morgana dived out of the way in the nick of time, the druids all surrounded her, and she saw out of the corner of her eyes that one held some rope. Morgana panicked and began to run again. She was punched hard in the gut by one of the side druids making her double over in pain.

She felt ropes secure themselves around her legs; she was given one last blow to the head which made her topple over and hit her head on the hard ground. Her eyes swerved as her focus was totally disorientated, she felt another blow to the side of her face knocking her out.

~::~

She groaned as she awoke. She felt binds around her ankles and wrists which seemed to be connected to some sort of tree. She opened her eyes to see it was night time, a huge log fire stood before her. She forgot what had happened before she saw the shapes of the druids walking around the fire. The head druid stood with a rich red robe draped around his shoulders, his eyes had not left her, he seemed impatient, his body twitching as he did odd glance to a female druid mixing a small cauldron before the fire.

Morgana moved her wrists and legs to try and break the ropes but had no such luck. The chief druid looked at her before laughing "sorry Le Fey but those ropes are freshly made and well tested, you won't be getting out any time soon. Oh and don't try casting any spells, we've got an anti-magic circle drawn around you, so I'm afraid your powers and totally useless."

Morgana growled at the man "why are you doing this?"

The druid looked at her seriously, "we're here tonight to rid the world of you. We are going to restore the balance before it's too late."

Morgana put those words together in her head before sussing it out. "You can't do that. I've tried to kill myself, I can drain my veins, drown in a lake or burn my skin and I will still live. And even if you manage to kill me, that will hurt more than just me and my sister, it will send the world into a total unbalance total chaos will occur."

The druid smirked at her like she was a liar.

"Believe me."

"Why should we believe you? You killed our children, our brothers and sisters, our mothers and fathers. And For what? For power."

"I did not kill them!" she cried.

"The potion is ready" the female druid informed the chief.

The chief smiled "we'll see witch. We'll see…Secure her" he called over his solider walking to the pot of black liquid.

She was grabbed from behind by two men both pinning and arm in each grip. Morgana watched as the chief pulled out a dagger and dipped it into the tar like liquid. The bubbling ooze hissed at the feel of metal, making everyone flinch. The dagger could not have been in there for more than five seconds before the chief drew out the dagger.

He walked over to her followed by the rest of the druid tribe "look around witch; see all the face of the men and women who have lost someone they love thanks to you."

Morgana didn't look she didn't even defend herself, for she knew it would make no difference. "Just do it" she muttered through gritted teeth.

The chief smirked at her; he raised the dagger up…

…

And then he shot it down stabbing her straight in the chest.

She seemed to be motionless for a few moments, the pain shot through her like worms working through the wound and into her flesh, her mouth opened and her eyes glassed over as the druids released her arms. She fell to her knees and then fell back wards onto her back. The blade was pulled out of her, only to be shoved into her gut making her scream.

She fell once again to the ground, her muscles and limps twitching and jolting by the pain. The thick black liquid oozed into her thoughts and eyes, making her totally blinded, no more than five minutes must have passed by her being stabbed and her lying there, but the pain felt like she had been there for five years.

Her body jolted harsher as her lungs clogged by the tar like mixture and her throat was blocked by the bile and trickle of liquid worked its way up to her mouth. She felt herself chocking but she could barely comprehend anything the pain was too bad.

One of the druids dug his foot into her stomach making her scream a heart wrenching scream.

"NO!"

She didn't even flinch by the sound of Merlin's voice. She couldn't even think aside from the pain and the draining of life from her soul. Her movements and jolts were less violent now, she was drowning from the inside out, and she couldn't hang on. She felt too cold hands go onto her cheeks trying to slap her out of it; she opened her eyes but only black ooze dribbled from the tear duct.

She felt hot hands go onto her side which resulted in her arching her back and screaming.

"GET AWAY FROM HER!" Merlin's voice screamed through the chaos.

She felt hands grip her and pull her into his arms. Her head was drooping backwards. She didn't have much longer…

~::~

Merlin put his hand against her swollen tinted black cheeks. He knew this poison it will kill someone in less than an hour, his eyes worriedly darted over her face trying to measure what stage of poison she was at.

He didn't notice one of the druid men reach over and try to snatch her until she arched over and screamed.

"GET AWAY FROM HER!" Merlin screamed at the druid who immediately jumped backwards in fright of Emyrs wrath.

Merlin gripped her and pulled her until his arms. He'd have to run. But he had to try; he would not let her die like this.

He knew what it meant though…

It meant going back to Camelot…

He looked down at Morgana she was nearly out of the game…He knew he had no choice.

He began to run; he had to make it to Camelot and into Giaus' hut before her time ran out.

~:~

Review me!

Yay the new series of Merlin has started.


	18. Fixing

Evil

Chapter Four: Fixing

Merlin carried her into the dimly lit hut; Giaus was snoring in the next room. Morgana was barely breathing; her chest seemed to be totally stiff with the poison which had hardened in her system. He practically threw her onto the table making several potions and bottled herbs fall off of the work bench.

He slapped her cheeks but her eyes were a lifeless black orb. He daren't call Giaus for help encase he told Uther or Arthur about Morgana's sudden reappearance.

He didn't need him though, Giaus had taught him well enough to try and save her.

He grabbed a knife and slit her throat, thick black puss drained out of her neck. He pulled her up so she was sitting before slapping her back hard making her chock out the black poison. She chocked out the ooze but she didn't react, her eyes didn't focus they just rolled into the back of her head.

"Morgana!" he snapped smacking her again making her face snap backwards "come on! Stay with me!"

She fell backwards back onto the table.

Merlin ran to the book case grabbing random books and scheming through them trying to find answers. In the background he heard her chocking as more poison went into her throat and mouth before draining down her throat wound. He threw books over his shoulder when they were deemed useless (though careful not to hit her with them). None of them held any magic cure or any golden arrow pointing him to the right answer.

He dropped the remaining books in discussed. He ran back to her, she was still chocking as the poison multiplied and then drained out of her body. He wiped her throat wound careful not to hurt her. He knew what he should do.

He knew what he could do. And what it might do.

He held her head in his two hands so they were face to face, before muttering: "Schoon! Fire! Reinig de wond met vuur!" His hands felt as if they were burning as he pass fire through his finger tips and into her throat wound.

Her eyes opened wide, at first just black with no pupil and no colour, but then as the fire killed the poison inside of her the blackness was eaten away to show her perfect green orbs shining straight into his apologetic eyes. Her mouth opened into a silent scream, before falling back once again onto the table. Dead for a third time that day.

Merlin grabbed a bucket of water and threw it onto her stiff form. Steam rolled off of her as the fire inside her finally cooled.

He lent over her, pressing an ear to her chest trying to hear a heartbeat. He felt her suddenly breathe as she was awoken from her near death experience, he smiled even laughing slightly as he realised he had saved her. He was rewarded thus with a smack to the head. He jumped backwards as her hand lazily tried to hit him again. Not that it hurt, she was barely conscious to give him anything that would damage him aside from his ego.

She was muttering as she tried to sit up, Merlin ran to her side silently trying to help her up. She hit him away trying to move to the door but she could barely put one foot in front of the other. Merlin grabbed her waist and managed to support her and keep out of her way. He coaxed her into his bedroom before picking her up swiftly (rewarded with a hiss of threats from her) before tipping her smartly onto his bed. He then turned back into the room and proceeded to clean up the mess he had made.

~::~

He made sure he cleaned the room, putting all the books back by hand and mopping up the last of the water, Merlin could have done that easily by magic all at once, but instead he took his time rehearsing the words he would say to her and giving her time to cool down because he expected her to be quite miffed he saved her life.

All too soon he had finished his work and needed to check on her. As he walked to the door he felt the sense of impending doom falling onto his shoulders, he knew she might still be upset with him. He knocked softly as if he was about to disturb her bedroom before poking his head around the door.

His spirits sank when he saw that the bed he had thrown her on was now empty. His eyes slowly went around his small room to see her standing by his window leaning heavily on the frame. He knew she must have crawled to that window to give herself a sense of dignity again, and because of that he forgot his anger and started to pity her.

He slowly walked over to her as if he was just going in her direction because he wanted to do something productive with the window or the side of the room she coincidently stood at. He stood next to her his hands cupping behind his back. "What are you doing way over here?" he asked, he didn't mean to sound like he was talking to a toddler.

She stood with her arms crossed over her chest looking out of the window towards the castle in the middle of Camelot, where her old room stood in her younger days. Her face was carefully void of feeling, merely staring at the castle like a dog would stare at a rabbit just in its reach but yet so far, her eyes had a predatory look to them not unlike a shark's: void of feeling. Merlin felt frightened for a while worrying that she would lose herself like she did the last time she tried to attack Camelot. But instead she sighed breaking her eyes contact with the building and leant heavily on the wall trying to support her wounded parts.

"I'm better."

"You should rest" he informed her, but he knew she would never do what he said.

She didn't now, "I'm quite well Merlin" she turned on her heel gritting her teeth as pain shot through her stomach wound "I have to get out of here." The pain was unlike anything she had ever felt before, her body felt like it had been filled with mud and leaves like a bonfire, and then set alight, and now she was filled with ash and soot.

Merlin caught her in his arms gently so she could lean on him "a night on a warm bed won't make an inkling of difference you know" he said quietly but determinedly.

"Why Merlin" she muttered weakly "I had no idea you were going to give me your warm bed, what is a young lady to say?" she got a twinge of pleasure watching him squirm at that.

Merlin did not let go of her though, he gently walked her to his small single bed, before lying her down on it, while he perched on the edge so he could look down at her. She managed to lift herself into a sitting position so she would not seem so vulnerable to him. "Are you hungry?" he asked her still concerned that she might die on him again.

"Merlin I'm fine, I'll be gone by the morning."

"Like last time" he didn't mean his words to sound so bitter in her face.

Her head snapped looking right at him "yes Merlin. I will keep leaving like last time. And this time. And the time after this. And the time after that. Until you get it through your thick head that you should not keep me here."

He did not pretend to not feel stung by her words. He held his tongue so she could feel ashamed that she hurt his feelings.

She sat in silence for a while too waiting for him to leave her in peace or to retaliate in some way.

Merlin was the first to break, "you can't leave any way in the morning, your body is still reeling, you'll be lucky to move your big toe let alone make it out of Camelot before daylight."

Morgana was silent for a while before muttering "I'll find a way, there's always a way."

"Yeah, and you'll kill yourself in the process."

"I can't die. And even if I could I doubt something as basic as a stab wound will stop me for long."

"I was talking about Uther when he finds you and sticks your head on a poll."

"Charming."

"Does that mean you'll forget about leaving for the time being?"

"No, it means that I think you're being small and pathetic Merlin."

"Charming."

They glared at each other for a while, both so frustrated by the other's stubbornness.

"Why did you save me, if it would be this much trouble?"

"Because I'm your friend."

"Taking a snake into a mouse hole isn't a clever idea Merlin."

"Stop it. Stop putting yourself down all the time."

"I'm not I'm merely stating fact. You just like to forget about it because you are a hypocrite."

They were practically nose to nose now glaring at each other, she was pushing herself up to him and he was leaning down to her.

Merlin stood up from the bed and walked over to his window "why do you always do this? I save your life and gamble mine and what do you do? You hit me! You verbally assault me! And now you treat me as if I have just run over your dog with my cart!"

She sniffed "that's what you get for putting me up on a pedestal; I'm not a good person Merlin." 

"But you are!" Merlin hissed exasperated with the argument. "You cannot see past the smoke and mirrors, but you are a good person!"

For the first time that night (and in her life) Morgana was too shocked to speak. She shook her head away from him; he might as well have stabbed her because she had never felt so weak in front of another person in her life.

Merlin saw this and (fugitively) leapt at it; he walked over to bed and took back his place of perching on the side of it. He gently took her hand in his, his fingertips tracing around her sown up scars. "You think you have to self-harm and sacrifice your own health to keep the people you love safe. But you've always had the power to do it on your own self-control. Morgana." He smiled squeezing her hand in his "you defended me as a child, you saved my life twice, and you've gone through all the trouble in the world and yet you've still got your head held high. If there was anyone in the world who had an excuse to turn out bad…then it was you, but you haven't…" Merlin lapsed into silenced as he too took in the impact of his words.

She felt herself crumbling; Merlin had found her weak spot and had twisted the knife into it. If only he had told her that when she was sixteen and crying next to him in this very bed, when she was seventeen and running for her life in the forest, when she had crawled from Cenred's castle covered in her own blood and pain crying out into the night, or when she was holding Merlin in her arms sitting in the rain as the knights of Camelot surrounded her.

She bowed her head so she couldn't look into his eyes, she could not deny she had wished someone to say that to her for years and had almost lost hope that she would ever be considered as an equal. She felt his hand gently cup her chin in his, before gently ravelling his arms around her back.

Merlin's heart felt like it was palpitating under his clothes as she laid her head against his right arm. He had done it, he had broken her, he had managed to go through her prickly shell and (like a conker) he was looking at her interior being now. He hands gently ran through her hair as he let her get her act together, he knew what he had just seen was merely a show.

She closed her eyes as she breathed against his shoulder feeling tears go down her face as she felt herself struggling to breathe. Merlin gently rubbed her back in circular movements to try to help her steady her nerves. He looked ahead as his thoughts for the first time seemed clear and collective and one thought in his mind made sense:

He loved her.

He, Merlin Emreys Loved Morgana Le Fey.

Morgana felt Merlin stiffen slightly; she slowly sat up so she could look at Merlin's face to see what was wrong. They looked at each other for a long time trying to figure out the other's thoughts; Morgana could read Merlin like a book at the best of times but now she was confused about what he was thinking. Her forehead creased as she tried to understand. Merlin blinked at her trying to get his words straight in his head. He realised with some embarrassment that his arms were still tightly around her waist. He didn't let go though.

Morgana's eyes were moving fast across his face the crease in her forehead deepening into a full-fledged frown, her head jerked down to his arms which were stick locking her against him. She suddenly stood, throwing the arms off of her making Merlin let go of her, backing away to the window her eyes never leaving his shape. Merlin stood making her press her back harder against the wall.

Merlin blinked, she couldn't be _frightened_ of him? He slowly moved close to her, he knew it could not be comfortable for her to be standing let alone pressing herself against his hard cold wall. He stood next to her so they were shoulder to shoulder, if she was in better health he knew she would be running to the door or hitting him down, but she was having trouble staying conscious. Her eyes closed often and she swayed slightly to the left and right.

Merlin licked his lips but no words formed in his head, he could not tell her his thoughts or describe the feelings he had for her. He knew he should tell her what he was feeling for her, but he could not tell her, he was afraid that she would reject him or try to leave. He gently took her hand in his hoping that would speak volumes to her. It didn't quite exactly. Morgana wrenched her hand away from his, stumbling slightly over her own feet, Merlin caught her before she could fully fall backwards which gave him another slap across the face forcing him to let go of her.

She fell onto the floor with a heavy thud, she hissed out of her mouth trying to pull herself up by clinging to his bed blanket. "Morgana are you alright?" he asked crouching next to her trying to help.

Morgana refused to be helped she staggered onto her feet "leave me _alone_ Merlin" she snapped through gritted teeth clearly in a lot of pain.

Merlin reached out a hand to touch her shoulder for it to be slapped away, she turned away to him walking away as if to limp clear out of the room "I know that look" she was muttering her back to Merlin, he wasn't sure whether she was talking to him or not. "I know what you want, I know too well."

Merlin blinked at her before whispering "you think I'm that stupidly male?" he asked his clearly insulted tone making her turn to look at him.

"Yes."

Merlin sneered walking away from her, "Morgana I have no intention of sleeping with you."

"Liar."

Merlin turned to her glaring "how do you know? You haven't asked me, I'm not throwing you against a wall and I haven't said a word on the subject until you just brought it up."

"I didn't need too. It's written all over your face."

"It's not what you think."

"Then what is it?"

Merlin turned away his hand rubbing his mouth with his hand. She wasn't making this easy for him. He tried to think of something that she would understand and preserve his own dignity. He looked at her, "do you remember when we were kids and I kissed you?"

She said nothing but she looked at the door as if she was calculating how fast she had to run to lose him.

He saw this and put up his hands, "here me out! Here me out!" he cleared his throat "well, back then I…Well I guess you could say I…I was totally infatuated with you." He checked her expression but it remained defensive but also curious, he took this as a good thing. "and well…you could say that…Those feelings have only matured over time and…I think I still love you."

Morgana blinked at him, he could see her eyes were blinking away tears which were forming in her eyes. Her entire frame was shaking despite the pain it must of coursed her, her hand shot to her mouth and she turned away from him.

He reached out and touched her shoulder, in an act to try to comfort her.

She shook herself free before holding her head in her hands shaking it hard like she was trying to wake up from a dream, "no! No! No! _No!_" she hissed through her tears as Merlin tried to pull her closer to him so he could hold her, "I'm not capable of love! I cannot feel" she talked as if she was reciting a poem or a law which had been imprinted onto her memory "I'm not anything! I'm not male or female! I cannot feel!" Merlin pulled her closer to his chest so she could cry into it. He stroked her back in circular movements as he put his head on top of hers.

She sobbed still muttering into his chest. He slowly took her head into his hands so they were looking at each other in the eye their noses practically touching. "Morgana" he said softly but firmly "I do not care about any ideas or any enforced laws you have heard, it can all go to hell for all I care." Morgana stopped struggling and stood still so she could hear him better. "But Morgana now this: I love you. I care not if you kill me here and now, to be honest if it repulses you that much I hope you put me out of my misery. But here this, I see you for what you are, and to me you are the purist and most virtuous woman I have ever met. And I want to help you see you the way I do."

Morgana blinked at him her mouth slightly open by what he was telling her, her wet tear stained cheeks glistened in the moon light as his words sunk in. He let go of her head and took her hands in his. "Do you doubt me?" he asked her.

"Yes."

"Do you think I'm lying" he asked her smiling but still gripping her hands in each of his.

"Absolutely."

Merlin took her cheeks in either hand and pressed her lips against his.

She stood rigid for a second her hands limp by her sides, his hands gripped her face but they needn't she stood perfectly still before him. She felt like she was melting by his warmth and she wanted to stay there until her iced over body had totally thawed out. But then her mind started to think, she thought back to when she and Merlin were both young and they would hang onto each other's hands, forward to when he refused to attack her when Morgause had invaded Camelot, forward further to him taking her wrist and healing it with his hands, when he had saved her life from the druids and to now. Now he was kissing her. Merlin was right. Merlin was right about everything. Her feelings for him had not died they had merely be suppressed and matured over the years to…love.

She loved him…

She, Morgana Le Fey loved Merlin Emreys. That was messed up.

Her arms wound around his neck so she could deepen the kiss, she had never felt so happy in her life. She felt him stiffen but now she was past caring, she pressed her forehead against his, she could feel his arms winding around her waist so he could support her better, he opened his mouth to deepen the kiss, they stood there for a good three minutes just standing their glued to the spot.

They at last broke away when a clash of thunder sounded through the entire house making it shake. They blinked at each other their breath coming out in smoke because of the coldness of the room. His hands remained on her back but she could tell from his eyes he was regretting his brash action. She kept her arms around his neck but he soon stepped away from her and walked to the door.

"That was stupid" he muttered a cross between embarrassment and regret.

She walked after him "Merlin…" she began taking his hand, "don't go."

Merlin turned to her (obviously surprised and pleased) a little cautiously "why?"

He was not making this easy for her. She looked at him trying not to break eye contact with him "I think I like you too."

Merlin's smile grew on his lips and he bashfully scratched the back of his neck "you don't mean that."

"I do" and she meant it too.

Merlin turned to her his chest felt like it was being puffed up with helium and soon he would touch the ceiling. He took her face again and kissed it. He hoped he was not dreaming.

They kissed for a while their mouths, tongues and hands expressing their feelings for each other. They stood against each other as the wind outside blew and rustled the windows which they were safely behind. Morgana and Merlin had found a moment, a moment to show their love for each other. And as their stood with their lips against the others they both thought one thing:

'I love you.'

~::~

Review me!

Yeah this was fluff city and I think some of the dialogue was a little awkward but at long last THEY ARE INA RELATIONSHIP! Champagne all around!


	19. Better

Evil

Chapter Five: Better

They stood staring at each other for about twelve seconds; it was deafly cold now their breaths came out in little clouds of residue before leaving behind. He held her hands in his; both stood motionless trying to get over what just happened, another clash of thunder shook the house followed by a blinding flash of lightning.

"Merlin?" Giaus sudden shouted.

Merlin wrapped his arms around Morgana's shoulders protectively, as both of them stiffened. He gulped before calling "what is it Giaus?"

"Merlin! I hope you are not practising on your magic this time of night!" Giaus warned though he stayed in his room protected by a wall in between the three.

Merlin flashed a grin at Morgana before calling: "of course not Giaus."

"Good, but the last time we had a storm of this intensity, you had tried to cast a shower spell."

"Good night Giaus" Merlin called fuming.

The two stood there for a while, the storm quietened behind them, Giaus muttered to himself obviously grumpy from being woken up. At last though, the snores from Giaus' room came rippled from to the pair making them both relax.

Merlin closed his eyes letting out a sigh of relief resting his check against her head; Morgana rested hers on his shoulder.

Merlin turned his head sharply as a voice came through the rain and into his head _"Merlin" _the familiar voice of Kilgharrah, the Great Dragon, calling to him from afar. The last thing Merlin wanted to do was pursue this but he knew he had no choice, when the dragon calls he must obey, he rolled his eyes before reluctantly letting Morgana go.

"I have to go" Merlin informed her while grabbing blankets and other materials, he gently wrapped them around her shoulders "stay warm and try not to wake up Giaus."

"What? Where" she asked concerned for him, one minute they were carefree children with a secret love affair, now they were adults worn down by the hardships of their responsibilities.

Merlin smiled, he couldn't help feeling pleased that she cared for him enough to ask after him, "I sense someone calling to me, its best I go to it."

She understood, she nodded her head before digging in her pile of blankets and pulling out one of Arthur's capes and wrapped it around Merlin to keep him dry from the rain. They were not used to this couple status and immediately (from the close proximities) pressed their lips against each other's again. If Merlin was left alone with Morgana he would have damned the dragon and had carried on with his osculation with Morgana without another thought to the matter but…

"_Merlin, Merlin, I grow weary of your neglect Emreys."_

Slowly Merlin unwrapped her arms from off his neck and pulled himself (reluctantly) away from her, he gave her a small peck on the lips and a smile before walking out of the room and walked out of Camelot and into the forest.

~::~

Merlin tried to keep himself neutral as he waded through the dying rain, he was cold, wet and frustrated but he knew how to pick his battles, he came into the familiar clearing seeing for once the dragon had beaten him to it.

"I see you have come" the Dragon smirked his eyes shining in the darkness.

"I didn't have a choice" Merlin shrugged as the last droplets of water scattered from the clouds.

The dragon was not listening though his nose went down to Merlin's level and breathed in Merlin's scent. Its nose wrinkled as his worst fears were confirmed "I see the stars were right tonight" it scowled disapprovingly at Merlin.

Merlin blinked confused "what do you-"

"I can smell _her_ scent Merlin" it snapped "it's all over you."

Merlin turned around trying to think of a good defence or whether it would be best to tell him.

The dragon took his silence as an affirmative "young warlock, you cannot carry on like this. She will be your undoing and you will be hers. That is the way things have to be."

Merlin turned to him, "she's not like that, something's happened, something has occurred to make that not the only path" he smiled "I think she likes me."

The dragon wrinkled his nose "you do not know her game, this could all be a trap to seize Camelot."

Merlin shook his head "you're wrong, she's sick, I saved her" he gabbled "I would know if she was trying anything."

"Merlin you do not know the power she is capable of. It would have been best if you had left her to die. It would have been best-"

"Stop it!" Merlin shouted at the dragon, if it was any other night he would have heard him through and then simply have ignored it, but tonight of all nights he felt it was his duty to defend her.

The dragon's head reared back from his outburst a little angry at the harsh words "you will do best to pay attention to my advice young warlock."

Merlin shook his head "I know what I'm doing."

"Do you?"

"She isn't what people say she is, she is just misunderstood and just needs some love and attention."

"Merlin, Emreys open your eyes, this will be your undoing if the balance is left unchanged, without her you will never be able to save the old ways and restore magic, and she without you will never be a full person. You must understand that she is your downfall if these terms remain. The only right thing to do is to let her go."

Merlin turned around and walked away, he didn't need this.

The Great Dragon breathed fire into the air before growling after him "bad eggs don't turn good Emreys. Remember that." Before he flew away into the air, he had tried to set things right, but had failed. Merlin and the witch were going to have to find out the hard way.

~::~

_She was floating…No swimming…The water around her seemed to be encasing her. She did not react as such, she merely laid in the darkness unusually calm with the situation she was in._

_The water's pressure made her give a weightless feeling like she was flying, bubbles came from her mouth as she watched them flat upwards to the distant surface. She knew she should feel trapped…but she felt comforted by the darkness and the lack of movement around her. The light was dim but she could see her ghostly white hands move slowly making small waves and more bubbles which floated upwards._

_Suddenly light came over her eyes, she shut her eyes tight, as the dark water turned crystal white showing ever spot and every fibre which the water had hidden. She shut her eyes groaning the light still coming through her eye lids._

She opened her eyes again but she felt no water, no waves or the pressure that had caged her to the level of water. She shut them again feeling the rays of the outside sun shining onto her face. She slowly opened her eyes again, she felt a bit disorientated from the position of the bed and the direction of the sunlight that for a moment she was lost. But then she remembered. She felt her joints which felt heavier and clunkier. Merlin was right she could barely move let alone outrun the home guard.

Slowly she sat up in the bed; she remembered lying underneath the blankets trying to lull herself to sleep. Merlin had returned just as she was dropping off still wet from the previous rain, by his heavy footsteps she could tell he was angry, or at least frustrated, with something. But she had kept her mouth shut knowing that people would not always rational that time of night.

She turned to look at Merlin, he was half on half off the bed, his arms were behind his back, and his feet were in front of him trying to keep his balance, as his body swung precariously off of his bed. She smiled at Merlin affectionately as he slept, she was comforted that what had happened last night did happen and it was not something she made up or dreamt. She lay down close to him feeling contented for the first time in many years.

A sudden banging on the door made her snap out of her thoughts and look straight at the door, Merlin groaned at the sound but remained still. She shook his shoulder as another storm of banging hit the door. This time Merlin reacted he opened his eyes and sat up on his elbows, his eyes were half open half closed.

BANG! BANG! BANG!

"MERLIN!" Arthur suddenly shouted through the door frame.

Merlin and Morgana exchanged a look of sheer surprise, confusion and finally horror and Arthur continued to hammer on the door. Merlin fell off of the bed and scrambled to his feet "yes sire?" he asked throwing a blanket over Morgana trying to make out she was a mound of clothes.

Arthur was silent for a moment before asking "do you know what day it is Merlin?"

Merlin pulled on his shoes and jacket while he tried to think "um…Tuesday?"

Arthur's voice was still trying to remain calm "and prey Merlin, what happens on Tuesday?"

Merlin was silent for a moment thinking desperately trying to remember. Arthur though was losing patience and carried on banging on the door before shouting: "WAR MEETINGS MERLIN!"

Merlin blinked for a minute before muttering "oops."

"Oops indeed, why didn't you wake me up at the crack of dawn to get ready!" he shouted Arthur was now ramming at the door like he was a battering ram "I was THREE HOURS late for the meeting! And I still haven't had any breakfast! When I get in their Merlin you are going to not feel your clothes for a week!"

Arthur jolted the door open only for Merlin to press himself against the door keeping it shut. Arthur banged on the door with his fists trying to force it open again "Merlin" his voice had a strained quality to it now "Merlin…Please open the door…Now."

Merlin shot a pleading look to Morgana. She sat up in the bed a pitying smile on her lips effortlessly calm in the eye of discovery. Merlin pressed his back against the door trying to block Arthur from coming in.

BAM!

Merlin's door came clean off of its hinges as Arthur did a running jump straight at the door. Merlin jumped backwards as Arthur stormed into the room, "do you have any idea of how much of a fool I felt in front of my father's advisors? What are they going to tell father when they go back to him?" Arthur seemed so frustrated he needed to vent out on something; it was obvious something had happened with Gwen or else he would not have overreacted.

Merlin's eyes travelled to Morgana as she sat patiently in his bed a smirk dancing on her lips. Arthur's own eyes travelled with Merlin to his bed, but unlike Merlin he could only see an empty bed. Arthur read it the wrong way "oh no, you are not going back to bed! I don't care if you have a hang-over from the Tavern! My armour has to be shined, my horses need to be mucked out, they need to be fed, groomed and re-shoed, also there's clothes to be washed, beds to be made, and you need to mend this door Merlin" Arthur listed grabbing Merlin's left shoulder and half dragged half marched out of the room.

Merlin's eyes travelled to Morgana who was still smirking evilly at him, he rolled his eyes and mouthed "grow up" to her.

~::~

"I'm sorry Merlin" Morgana laughed as they walked out of Camelot in the protection of nightfall "but I could not resist."

"You still could have told me you had put an invisibility spell on yourself, but you protected me from it. I nearly had a heart attack when Arthur broke through my door and you were right in front of him, I thought he was going to either kill me or kill you." Merlin covered his eyes at the thought of Arthur walking in on them together in the same bed; words could not describe how random and wrong that was.

Morgana patted his shoulder before promising "I will never do that again."

"Too right, I'll never take you back to Camelot again, it's too big a danger on my mental and physical health" Merlin grinned as he laced his fingers through Morgana's hand.

They walked to the edge of the wood hand in hand like they were any normal couple out on a walk. As they got to a clearing Merlin hung back: "I better not go any further, I want a good night's rest when I get back."

Morgana nodded before walking up the steep hill, Merlin rolled his eyes before taking her hand in his and spinning her around so she kissed him. Morgana grinned lacing her arms around his neck.

"So" Merlin smiled swinging his arms when they broke free.

"So?" repeated Morgana raising an eyebrow at Merlin.

"Well…In a months' time it's my annual holiday so…I can visit you then?" Merlin asked his arms going around her waist.

"You really want to go back to my house?" Morgana asked sarcastically.

Merlin smirked "yes."

Morgana smiled breaking eye contact, "well if you don't mind the mess, the constant bad weather, my moods and my bad cooking –"

"No I don't mind" Merlin interrupted her.

"Well then, I'll be honoured to have your company" she smiled at him.

They kissed one last time before breaking away, Merlin tried to kiss her again but she ran further up the hill away from him, she laughed toying with him before disappearing into the darkness. Merlin stood there for an extra five minutes before running down the hill, his heart in his throat, his stomach in his chest and his legs somewhere in-between, he had never felt so happy in his life, he would even brave to go through Arthur's sock draw if it would make the four weeks go quicker.

One thing he knew for sure though: In 28 days' time he was going to be with Morgana again.

~::~

But with the power of Fanfiction and imagination our wait with be over a lot faster!

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	20. Long Night

Evil

Chapter Six: Long Night

"Morgana Le Fey, you will not be overwhelmed" Morgana Le Fey muttered as she walked past the busy streets of the early morning market. Every so often the nearest town had a half decent trade market and she had to use it whenever possible. She hated the busy noise streets and the constant fear that the wrong person will recognise her, but today she was in high spirits for a change. She smiled despite herself letting the words try to cool her good mood. They did not.

The clouds were grey and the chances of rain were imminent but she could not shake her happiness which was a nice change. 27 days had passed since she and Merlin were last together and she knew he would be arriving tonight or the next. She had counted down the days with deceiving indifference refusing to let herself be carried away.

She was carrying a handful of wood which she had just purchased for her leaky roof. She had a strong suspicion that it might not hold through the night. She walked back through the town ignoring the hostile looks she got unjustifiably and justifiably, but for once she did not shoot back glares and growls but carried on walking like her head was full of wool, she even smacked a mugger on the back of the head with a piece of wood and yet she still did not lose her smile.

~::~

She spent the rest of the evening fixing her roof, the effort making her stitches dig into her arm. She seemed to be getting more and more scars, her body's protests becoming more apparent, the only place that hadn't been affected was her face but from her neck to her toes big cuts and scars was coming out all over her body making life a lot more difficult for her. She gave up on the roof with disgust; when the wire on the palm of her hand split, she would have leave it for tomorrow.

As Morgana jumped off of her roof she saw a figure walking towards her. She waited as he made his way up the hill. When she couldn't take any more she walked down to him. Merlin. They walked until they were face to face.

Merlin grinned at her waving his hand slightly "hello" he smirked bashfully. She smiled good naturedly at him, she had missed him in all of the months she had been hidden away in her house without anyone to talk to; she put her arms around Merlin's neck to kiss him. Merlin had no complaints. Stars shot through the air as if it knew something was going to happen. They rested their foreheads against each other. Merlin's arms had wrapped around her waist and held her steady against his own.

For the first time in her life she felt like nothing bad could happen to her.

They walked back hand in hand to her house both in utter silence, Morgana because she was scared at what she might do, and Merlin because he was wondering too what this all meant. She knew he could feel the thick skin which made up her scars on her hand, she knew he knew and he knew she knew, but they waited until thy walked into her dark house for the other to come clean.

~::~

Morgana knew she would never get used to Merlin sitting in her house; she gave him a bowl of stew before sitting opposite him. It was the law of nature that they were to be enemies thus; it should be so that she would never house him under her roof. But still. As she watched him eat carefully taking a spoonful at a time, she herself, couldn't help feeling slightly out of place, like if you or I sat next to a tiger or our mathematics teacher covered in blue paint, it was simply foreign to her.

He felt her gaze on him as he self-consciously ate. He made sure he didn't slurp, didn't spill or didn't make ungrateful faces at her stew though he still felt scrutinized. He looked up at her; she seemed to have a far off gaze looking at him with her head in her hands, her stew left unfinished under her. He wiped his lips with his bandana before asking "what?"

She blinked at him, she had fallen into a day dream (or night dream as it were) "nothing."

Merlin's knee slightly nudged hers "go on tell me" he grinned at her.

She knew she was being played like a flute, but she decided to continue "I was merely observing how odd you look in my house."

Merlin blinked with mock offence "next time I'll dress differently to suit your furniture."

She smiled "no Merlin, I was merely pointing out how…weird it is that you're in my house sitting at my table, when I resolved years ago that I'll never see you again. That's all."

Merlin cupped her cheek in his hand smiling at her.

She pulled his hand away, her barriers suddenly up again "of course, I will not be your mistress." She stood walking to the entrance her arms crossed.

Merlin blinked "Of course not."

"And, I can't do anything…intimate with you until my roof is fixed."

"I'll help you with it in the morning."

"And…Nothing has changed" she turned looking at him with mock authority "I'm still your…friend…Only now you and I are…" her voice trailed away as she tried to think of the right name for the two: lovers? Concubines? Mistress and Master? Fornicators? Traitors?

"Intimate?" he offered standing next to her.

She nodded "yes." Her smile now growing beyond her control.

"Okay, if you can have rules than I can have rules." He cleared his throat before doing a perfect imitation of Arthur spoke: "I can kiss you whenever I want."

She snorted, "In your dreams Merlin."

"I can only stay here for a couple of days, so in that time, you'll have to treat me like I'm your king."

"I would promise, but I'm not a liar."

"Oh and nothing has changed. I'm just the man you are crazily in love with and who you'll do anything for."

"Is that all? Or do you want me to chew your food for you?"

"Touché."

She rolled her eyes as he smiled obvious he had won round two of the battle of wits. She shrugged before clapping him on the shoulder to show she had given up. It was a feeble token tap nothing really violent, she blinked shocked when Merlin hissed in pain holding his shoulder.

"Merlin what's wrong?" she asked genuinely concerned taking his arm trying to see what the problem was.

"Nothing, nothing's wrong" Merlin muttered obviously embarrassed by the whole affair.

Morgana was not convinced she let go of him, but instead went and too a plank of wood and poked Merlin's back from behind. The results were immediate Merlin growled turning to her in obvious pain even if it was a tiny poke which a healthier man would not notice. Morgana tutted shaking her head, she knew she was on dangerous ice but now she was in she couldn't get out. She took Merlin's arm and sat him on a chair, while she pulled up another so they could see each other face to face.

"Merlin. What's wrong?" she asked with her eyebrows raised.

Merlin smiled at her weakly "I might have lied. I didn't come straight from Camelot…Arthur was after a troll so I had to accompany him. We spent three days tracking it, and let's just say it wasn't an easy process killing this thing. I think your sister was behind it."

Morgana flinched at the mention of Morgause but she let it roll off her. She stood and went over to her shelves. "How did you kill it?" she asked, trolls were usually an easy problem: scare it away with soap.

"Well Arthur had the grand idea of using me as bate while he and the other knights of Camelot push a rock down on it."

Morgana rolled her eyes as she took a jar filled with a dark green power. "Trust Arthur."

"You're telling me?" Merlin asked stretching his back muscles.

"What went wrong?"

"Well, it turns out Arthur's thicker than a troll now because the troll twigged what was going on and turned on Arthur, meaning it was left to Merlin to save the day. Again."

"You didn't attack it did you" she could barely stifle the giggles.

Merlin shrugged "maybe. Okay I might have leapt at his head and covered his eyes as he bashed my head in with his club."

"You're an idiot Merlin, you know."

"I know, I know. Arthur better reward me with a knighthood when I get back."

"In your dreams."

"I know."

She made a fine mint green paste with the various jars of substances from her shelf. She walked behind him before muttering with silent reverence "Come on; take off your top so I can see your back."

He didn't need to react like she had asked him to take off his trousers. "What! No way! I'm stripping in front of you!"

Morgana laid her hand on top of his from behind him "Merlin Emreys. Do I need to remind you that in the summer you and the other boys of Camelot would strip down to your trousers because of the heat? And thus I've see you without a shirt on already."

"Yes, but not recently" Merlin huffed crossing his arms.

"Merlin" she said with a softer tone "we can either do this the easy way or the hard way. Either you can do this one your own accord, or we can do the tying up and gagging way. Whichevers easiest" she smiled angelically but Merlin knew for a fact that she was deadly serious. Morgana always followed on her promises good or bad. Merlin sighed before taking off his shirt. He held it against himself so she couldn't try to take a quick look and he used the chair's frame to hold it onto.

Morgana rolled her eyes one last time at Merlin's awkwardness before pulling up a chair behind him and began to slap the paste onto his bruises. He had three long club shaped bruises ranging from his shoulder to his waist. She could feel him flinch as she rubbed the mixture into the wounds.

"I thought you didn't have the talent to do healing spells" he muttered nodding to her hands.

"That doesn't mean I can't experiment, pain killers are much appreciated in this house."

Merlin grinned at her; they then lapsed into silence, Merlin because of the awkwardness of being half naked in front of the woman he loved. Morgana because she was almost curious, she had never found Merlin attractive, she had fallen (if she was in love) for his belief in her and his kindness, she and never found Merlin…good looking. But she had never found any man attractive. But now…

She rubbed her hands clean of the mixture before grabbing a rag and soaking it in water before wiping Merlin's back clean. "You couldn't have warmed it up?" he asked shivering.

"Rubbish" she smirked rubbing in circular movements "gives your immune system something to fight. It gets the circulation going."

"Yeah and stopping" he chattered his teeth clunking together.

"Merlin, you are a baby" she crowed but she slowed her hand and rubbed his back with her blanket trying to get some friction going.

Merlin wasn't offended, for years he had been the brunt of Arthur's frustration and had been served worse names and blows to his ego than whatever Morgana could say to him. He pressed his back gingerly as she backed away from him to wash up. The muscles still seemed to be tight fists of pain but the edge had certainly been taken off. "Thanks" he smirked at her pulling his shirt back over his head.

She smiled before resuming her place next to him at the table. They resumed their meal; the tension inside her seemed to have subsided, it seemed to have affected Merlin too for he seemed more confident around her.

"Gwen's pregnant, you know" he said casually obviously trying to start a conversation.

"Oh, who's the father?" she assumed they were talking about her maid Guinevere.

"Arthur."

"…Prince Arthur? You're master Arthur?" she asked an eyebrow raised.

Merlin blinked "yes…" he answered a little taken aback from her sharp response.

"Oh. Poor Gwen."

"Why do you say that?"

"Well, it mustn't be easy for her, being a servant and all…"

"Gwen's queen of Camelot. I thought you knew."

It was Morgana's turn to blink taken aback with Merlin's answer. Gwen and Arthur…She thought back to when she had last seen Arthur and even Gwen, she knew they were friends and they were close but…Was it so topsey-turvey now that even a servant and a king can get married and have children…She wasn't sure she should feel reassured or depressed that things had changed so.

"I'm sorry. I should have used my discretion."

"No. No. I'm just shocked. I never believed in my wildest dreams that Arthur would be so valiant and Gwen so brave. How things have changed. What must that say about you and I?"

Merlin took her hand and squeezed it. He knew he had upset her, he knew how difficult it was for her about learning her old acquaintances lives. He leaned in and suddenly kissed her. She felt his arms going around her waist pulling her close to him. She felt her muscles tense; it had been five years since she had been intimate with any kind of man. She remembered the pinches, the pain, the punches and the laughter in her face. That was probably the reason she pulled away from him. Merlin let go of her as if she had been flaming red hot.

"Sorry" he muttered looking away at his hands trying to wipe away the last seconds.

She too stared down at her hands. She knew she should tell him, she knew she should tell him what exactly he was getting into. But she didn't. Part of her was shaking with fear; the other was shaking with anticipation. She felt like she was seeing him for the first time properly, and to her she realised how lucky she was that he wanted her, he had been with her through thick and thin. And for the first time in her life she felt lucky.

She said nothing, but took his face in her hands and kissed him back. She felt Merlin's back stiffen as her hands gripped his arms, she could feel Merlin's hands resuming around her waist. She was pulled against him, his fingertips digging into her back, her arms wrapped around his neck to such an extent that her hands cupped her elbows. Merlin felt behind him as he slide onto her bed, she lay against him now on top as he lay on his back.

She couldn't see in the darkness when she broke away from him, her arms seemed to have taken a life of their own for she could not let go of him. He still gripped her against him, obviously calculating what she was going to do when she broke away. Morgana knew it was her last chance to back out, she knew Merlin would understand and probably apologise for advancing on her. But she did not. Her lips were back on his within the minute.

Merlin rolled over so now she was under him, his hands advancing up her skirts cupping her thighs and pulling them around his waist. Morgana's chest felt like it was filled with the druid's poison again, part of her was inches away from yelling at Merlin to stop or screaming the place down. Another part though was running her fingers through Merlin's hair and tying her legs tightly around his waist tighter so she was practically hoisting herself off of the bed, he kissed her neck while she was allowed to breathe.

She needn't put herself through so much pain again, she needn't throw her dignity away again, but instead she sat up showing his feeling hands where the clasp of her dress was, their lips never leaving, she knew that there was no going back now. She helped him undo the back of her dress before going back to his shoulders to take off his jacket and shirt. She was actually surprised how forward Merlin was, she was doubly surprised about her forwardness. Her legs had once again hitched themselves around Merlin's waist, as they both sat up against each other; she pushed him onto his back so she could lay on him. She wondered later why she did that, it wasn't like she could be on top, she wondered whether she was trying to prolong the actual doing, but most likely she was so full of predisposition and instinct that she had completely shaken her last of her fears, she rolled onto her back, her dress now completely loose. The sky was shooting stars and the Earth shook gently underneath them both which became rougher and rougher as they both became rougher and rougher with each other.

~::~

They both lay on their backs, the Earth shivered underneath them and the sky was ablaze with light. Their clothes had been thrown across the floor; they were mangled in her blanket, her pillow was somewhere between the two.

Morgana had never felt so angry with herself in her life. She could not believe she had given in like that, and she fearfully knew Merlin would have no more reason to visit her. She laid her back to him, he seemed to be on his back a bit spaced out, she wondered if she had killed him. Her hair stuck to her neck and back; the blanket clung to her uncomfortably. Her hands screwed into fists and then flexed out.

It wasn't like she didn't enjoy having sex with Merlin; in fact it was very pleasurable for her, unlike her last time. She knew she should be happy that they had gotten this far, but still…Her brave side had been maxed out in the last half hour and now her more cynical and fearful side was in full bloom. She covered her face with her right hand, so many problems had been opened out and she felt scared she had gone in too deeply; she knew it would be next to impossible for her to leave Merlin with no just cause. Before she could kid herself she did not and could not care for Merlin, but now that she had given herself into Merlin she knew she could not lie to herself.

Merlin lay next to her on his back, he looked at her to give her a smile which faltered when he saw the back of her head, he put his arms around her middle pulling her back against him. She looked at him before looking back forward. He put his cheek against the side of her head before kissing it.

"What are you thinking?" he asked his face against her head.

"I'm angry at myself" she sighed her eyes taking long blinks.

"Me too?"

"No" she could never be angry at him.

"Oh, that's good."

"I'm so happy for you."

"Charming" she smiled her eyes closing.

"Do you regret it?"

She was silent for a moment. Merlin sighed letting go of her and rolling back onto his back. Typical of his life to be a glass half full at every possible moment, he thought she like him…But obviously not. He knew it was too good to be true.

Morgana turned over and laid her head on his shoulder "no" was her only answer before closing her eyes and falling asleep.

Merlin smiled his face beaming in the sudden darkness. He pulled the blanket up to her shoulder before wrapping his arms around her neck. Merlin then closed his eyes and fell asleep with Morgana beside him.

~::~

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Oh, and before I forget, I've been writing this story for exactly a year now! Thank you my faithful reviewers and followers for sticking at this for so long, I've and four re-writes! SO THANK YOU SO MUCH! I'm nearly finished now, but if ANYONE has ANY suggestions then for a limited time only, please send in your ideas which I will TRY to put into this story (obviously if it is too obscure I cannot but I will do anything in my power to put it in)! THANK YOU AGAIN!


	21. I'm Falling Apart

Evil

Okay these could be called mini one shots together but I just really wanted to stretch myself and not just shovel out tragedy and despair. Well I hope you enjoy and if you don't then next time I promise it'll be back to normal more sadness and depression!

Chapter Seven: I'm Falling Apart

They were ill the next day. Morgana expected nothing less from such an experience. She and Merlin lay in bed barely moving; their joints and limbs were sluggish and felt like they were soldered together. It hurt and prickled every time they moved their limbs, like when you slept on you hand all night and when you wake up your hand is cold and lifeless. She knew this was no new phenomena for herself, but she knew Merlin wasn't used to such backlash from fate. They slept side by side, she put her head very close to Merlin's and braved the pins and needles to put her arms around Merlin's neck. Merlin didn't seem so brave, but when midday passed she felt his arms flap around her side trying to touch her.

It was the night when their movements returned. They managed to pull themselves out of bed and look for their discarded clothes, the awkwardness which gripped them both was indescribable, Merlin wasn't sure whether she was happy or not about the night before's events and Morgana was still trying to understand herself how she felt. She wished she was as single minded as Merlin as they perched opposite each other on her bed, their backs facing each other as they dressed themselves.

Merlin turned around and cleared his throat. "I'm coming back next month." He didn't mean it to sound like a question.

Morgana jumped, she wasn't expecting that. "Why?"

"I want to see you." Merlin tried to make his words sound sincere and not patronizing.

She seemed fascinated with her left sleeve before asking "why?"

"Because I love you." He tried to not make it sound like a too big deal.

She reacted by wiping around to stare at him "why?"

"Stop saying that" he muttered embarrassed.

"Okay, why did you say that?"

"Because it's the truth."

"What do you want me to say?" she asked turning back around to look away from him.

"Hopefully, you feel the same and it's the truth." It was easier for him to face away from her too.

"And if I don't?"

"Then it will break my heart."

"Grow up Merlin."

"It will," he smiled at her wrapping his arms around her neck from behind so he was mini strangling her.

"Merlin!" she snapped trying to unwind his gripping arms.

"You have to answer!" Merlin smirked.

"This is assault!"

"Grow up Morgana."

Morgana huffed a little before muttering curtly "fine! I suppose I like your company too."

Merlin grinned this was the equivalent of a normal sane person ripping their shirt off and screaming out to the world that they worshiped their beloved. He let her go smiling his annoying smile, before dodging from her hand as she made a swipe at his face. He allowed her to chase him, letting her promise immense punishment on his person, before pushing her onto her back on the bed. He held a wrist in each hand pinning her down before smiling his annoying smile straight in her face.

"When I get free Merlin…"

"I guess I'll just have to wait you out."

"That is not possible."

"Try me." He then bent down and kissed her cheek to make her even more embarrassed and angry at him. Before letting her throw him onto his back.

~::~

It wasn't just the sex that brought them back together. Morgana had made Merlin promise very early on that he would not be in this relationship for just that. They didn't do it every time they were together. Mostly it was either Merlin was too tired from a hard month with Arthur and a long journey to Morgana's house to perform, or Morgana was not in the mood for sex and was having one of her moods.

Merlin soon got to grips with her moods. She didn't have them often but if she did he had to act accordingly or else get her flouncing out of the house in a strop and not to return until sunrise, with an apology on her lips and a tear in her frowning eye. He had to be tactful, he had to hold her very close from behind and whisper in her ear that he thought she wasn't a witch, bitch or evil but a misunderstood lady which fate had treated badly. That would always melt her heart and her barriers.

When they did make love it wasn't very often and it usually resulted in her roof breaking from the intense heat, wind, earthquake, rainfall, hail, snow, trees and randomly failing rain of fire or stars. It was surprising it was only the roof which was so disagreeably affected.

Tonight they lay on the roof, after spending hours fixing it. Merlin had been quiet all evening which made her both suspicious and fearful to what he might say. She patiently waited knowing Merlin would spill the beans sooner or later without her help. She knew he wasn't a very self-contained person. They watched the stars fly over their heads, both content with each other's company.

Merlin cleared his throat.

'Here we go' she thought, she was now well tuned into Merlin's habits and whenever he cleared his throat he was going to say something important.

"Morgana. We have been seeing each other for a while, and I think we have to agree that there is something growing between us."

He waited for her to interrupt but she fairly waited. All so far was true, they had been seeing each other for nearly six months and including all of their past together made a grand total of twenty years. And yes something was growing between them; she and he seemed to be more agreeable with each other and more relaxed than in the past, they had achieved a quaint middle ground with each other, she would not be overly negative if he was not overly positive, she would keep her temper if he did not rush her, and he was happy if she was happy.

"Will you marry me?"

She turned and looked at him, justly taken aback by his proposal, she had not seen that coming. She for once was too shocked to speak. Her eyes remained wide as Merlin's squeezed shut. She blinked a little considering the question, all the possible answers she could say, all the ones she _wanted _to say. She imagined herself getting married, a year ago she would never have dreamed of such a scene, but then again a year ago she would never have dreamt that she and Merlin starting a relationship. She turned and looked at him taking a big breathe before murmuring:

"No."

Merlin opened his eyes; he seemed to cover his disappointment for a second. She could feel the distraught coming off of him. She laid her head against his shoulder to show him she didn't mean it and she loved him. Merlin sighed before muttering:

"I thought you'd say that."

Morgana smiled as Merlin began laughing, she knew he was laughing on the wrong side of his face, but she was glad he was being strong for her. She took his face in her hands and kissed his cheek before laying her head on his chest. She closed her eyes as she imagined again all the possible answers she could have said.

~::~

_She was on fire. The ropes that bound themselves around her were on fire; she ran through the woods her feet bare and padding on stones and sticks. Her scalp's heat betrayed that it might be on fire. She screamed, her throat, neck and voice burning in the cool air. She fell and tripped many times flat on the ground, little flames sprouted from her fingers into the dry grass around her. _

_To the Lake._

_She was running to the Lake. Her hands, palms and fingers were nearly black with burns; her scars were opening because the fire was scorching them clean off of her. She could see it now; the Lake was looming towards her at immense speed. She dodged one more tree before leaping off of the bank into the dark grey water below._

_The effect was instant the flames were extinguished immediately leaving her curled up in the deep pool of water. The flames had died away completely as she sank lower and lower into the darkness. She glanced down at her hands, they were smooth and clean, unblemished in the pure water. _

_The pain came next._

_Her burns seemed to have soothed out but now her insides felt like they were on fire, she gulped mouthfuls of water to try and calm the fire inside her. She wondered whether she was drowning, so she tried to swim to the surface. But instead her legs shot up to her chin as the pain seemed to have spread all through to her body and legs. She tried to kick her legs but she seemed to have lost all control over her limbs altogether. She sank quicker and quicker into the darkness of the lake until she lost all site of the light altogether…_

Morgana shot up in bed, she felt her hands thick and bruised with the iron digging into it, and she relaxed for a while. But not for long for the same pains in her dream seemed to have melted into reality. She curled up in a ball in her bed groaning her arms wrapped around her middle, the pain felt like a belt was wrapped around her diaphragm and pulling until she would snap in half. Her legs felt like they were tangled around each other

Her hand shakily slipped up from under the blanket and held it up to the light; her fingers were covered in a reddish-brown stain. She looked under the blanket to see that blood was covering the sheets and her dress.

She fell out of her bed, falling face down on the floor. She scrabbled on the floor like a beached turtle trying to get to her hands and knees. She scrabbled to the far corner of the room as far away from her bed as possible. She pressed her blood stained hands over her ears trying to block out the thoughts which were buzzing through her head like a swarm of black bees. She rocked backwards and forwards as her eyes squeezed shut, her hands still clasped over her ears getting blood on her hair, ears and cheeks.

_This is not happening. This is not happening. This is not happening._

She told herself over and over again in her head.

~::~

"I'll be going away to the mountains for three months starting tomorrow." She had her back to him as she hitched her dress back on after their routine love making.

Merlin stopped tying his bandana around his neck. "What? Morgana where did this come from?" he asked his face portraying a perfect question mark.

"I have to go, Morgause and other powers at work have been tracking me" lying was easy for her normally, but this was hard. "I have to go and throw the trail so they can't find me." She did often go and wonder around the country side in case anyone was tracking her, but this was not regular and she was usually gone for less than a month let alone three.

"No, no Morgana that is too long. Can't you split it up or at least tell me where you are living so I can find you."

"No. I can't risk that. Besides, you could be a spy."

Merlin blinked at her, not sure whether to be confused or angry, he shook his head away from her, of all the low blows she had done (and she had done a few in her time) this one was the worst. He turned away from her. Morgana held her frown but inside she was screaming. She stood:

"I'll be going after you're gone in the morning-"

"Don't bother." Merlin snapped standing up in front of her "you know, I stuck by you even when things got really bad, and when you got really bad" he ignored her flinch as she sat on the bed in front of him, "I've trusted you all throughout and every time I try and every single time I think you have made some progress, or I have gained your trust, you just push me back to square one, you just make me feel that little bit smaller. And I take it. I take it because I think you will change and you will sooner or later trust me. But no. You just keep being so hard; you just keep being so sharp with me. And so for once Morgana, you cut your nose off to spite your face, you treat me like I'm nothing, you go off to wherever you're going. Because I'm not going to be here when I get back. Now either you tell me what is going on or you carry on the way you are and I'm not coming back."

He watched her, he had never been so angry with her in his life. He was sick and tired of her playing with his feelings and treating him like he was a second class citizen. She looked through him, her mouth tight over her teeth, she stood so she was eye to eye with him. For a moment he was sure she was going to slap him. But instead she walked out of the house and skidded down the slope and disappearing into the trees.

She's having a sulk; Merlin thought grouchily, fine, let her have her little hissy fit. I won't be here to pick up the pieces again.

He then stormed down the slope tripping twice and falling flat on his face, he walked in the opposite direction. He won't be coming back.

~::~

She didn't leave. How could she? After that episode she stayed waiting for him to return. She was sorry. She really was. She'd get down on her knees and beg for his forgiveness if she had to. But he did not come. She waited for a full three months, four months, five months. She lost hope of him returning, she grew more and more depressed. It was the same old bird cage but without the colourful parrot it looked bare and small. As each day passed her life became a bit more miserable.

She found herself wondering through the forest, getting deeper and deeper into the woods. Soon she felt like she was in one of her nightmares, she lost all sense of reality. She walked through the black woods and the black dirt, and the black sky, and the black air around her. She stopped when the muddy trail stopped to a lake.

It was a sign…

She stared at the water. All of the stuff that had happened before now. All of the hurt and pain. She wanted it all to stop. How ironic that the water was so clean…She had tried to kill herself in the past before but not like this…She walked into the water, her face looking down at her reflection. It was oddly calming feeling the icy cold water stabbing at her body and feet. She waited until she was waist deep in the water, before falling head first into the icy lake.

She felt oddly calm. She felt oddly serene. She felt oddly tranquil.

She felt oddly…Happy.

~::~

Review me!


	22. Revelations

Evil

This is the biggie; this is the one where we and Merlin find out all of Morgana's secrets. This one is a tough one.

Chapter Eight: Revelations

She couldn't have been under the water for less than a minute when she felt a hang grab her at the back of the neck. And she was pulled out of the water; she coughed and spluttered as already she had swallowed a lot of water. Her site was like she had just stared at a candle for an hour. She tried to shake the hands that were gripping her arm off of her. The hands gripped and dragged her to the bank; they easily overpowered her in her half drowned state. When she felt her back touch the ice cold mud she was rewarded with a hefty slap on the back of her head.

Her head lurched forward but so did half the water she had swallowed up from the lake, it dribbled grotesquely down her chin, she barely recovered when yet another hard thump hit her back making the last of the water escape through her mouth. The hands let go of her for a second letter her slither onto her back. She lay in the mud for no less than three minutes trying to recover.

And then too quickly the arms had grabbed her armpits and tried to drag her to her feet. Morgana could barely keep her eyes open, and when she was taken to such high altitudes she lost the ground completely and nearly fell back onto the muddy bank. The arms gripped her waist and pulled her against their's for balance. Her head refused to focus, huge splodges of colour rained over her eyes as the water made her brain and nose ache. Her eyes shut as the colour turned too bright and she was forced to sleep.

~::~

Her eyes opened to be from her bed and in her house. She could feel the cold wind in the air, the ache in her throat from swallowing so much water and the damp residue of lake water which had clung to her skin. Her eyes focused on her right hand which had curled lazily around her middle, she flexed and un-flexed the muscles and tiny bones which made up her right hand. Her head turned to see Merlin was asleep his head on her bed and on his knees kneeling beside her.

She was thankful he cared enough to stay but did not reassume his place next to her in bed.

Her right hand shook him. Merlin groaned something about Arthur or Giaus and about magical toads before waking up in a start. Their eyes met as they both reproachfully watched each other. Morgana felt a rush of gratitude and apology bubble up inside her thoughts; she knew Merlin had come back for her benefit and defiantly not for his own. Merlin on the other hand felt a sense of peace and relief that she was not screaming at him to get out of her house.

Her right hand gripped his, squeezing it, she was never good with words. Let alone apologise, she had given so few in her life that she really didn't know where to begin, "I'm sorry."

Merlin blinked at her, for the past twenty years he had known her, he had never say that sentence "for what?" a genuine question, not a means of rubbing it into her face.

"Everything." Everything was her fault, Merlin leaving. Her trying to kill herself…Again. "I'm sorry." She squeezed his hand again in hers.

Merlin squeezed her hand back, "to be honest," he muttered bashfully "I never went far, I watched you to make sure you didn't do anything stupid. After the conditional three months of course."

She knew he was only trying to make her feel better. She hugged him her arms wrapping around his neck. "Thank you." Her entire speech seemed to be made up of less than one syllable words. Merlin hugged her back; it had been scary for him seeing her so close to death like that. He hadn't stayed mad with her, he had done his time obediently not sure whether he was coming back at the end of it or not. But every time he found himself again drawn back to her. He had been a coward and stayed in the shadows scared what she would do, it was only until now that he had been forced to act and save her. He had scared himself by revealing how much of an impact he made on her.

Thy sat in silence letting these revelations dance around their heads. Merlin yawned breaking them out of their thoughts. "Do you want to sleep?" she asked.

Merlin nodded his head on his arms. He was unsure whether that was an invitation to join her or not, his brain was so tired he couldn't keep up.

Morgana wasn't sure either, but she moved over slightly giving the invitation to Merlin and to show that she was willing to spare his knees for the night. Merlin, too tired to care, clambered next to her (not bothering to tuck himself under the covers) and fell asleep.

~::~

Try as she might Morgana could not fall asleep. She was exhausted from the drama and the reunion with Merlin but she couldn't shake her restlessness. She sat up and thought. Thinking was usually the antidote of such restlessness for her. Her mind seemed to be obsessed with Merlin. Or rather her and Merlin's relationship. She knew that she and Merlin's affair was not going to last forever, to be quite honest she had wondered why they weren't both dead at this stage, but now other forces were at work she knew that the time was drawing to a close.

She was scared how out of control she had gotten when she had driven Merlin away. He may have forgiven her, but that was by no means a guarantee that they were a strong couple. She still loved him with all of her heart, and Merlin had not treated her with any contempt or bitterness since he had rescued her, so she needn't worry about where his heart still belonged to. She wished she and Merlin could have stayed at this stage for the rest of their lives, it was by no means comfortable or satisfactory for her (for if she had had her way she would never leave Merlin's side), but it was safe and was enough for both of them not to look a gift horse in the mouth.

But she had not been honest with him.

She knew that much for certain, this passed five month trial was merely a foreshadowing of tears to come. Merlin deserved the truth; it was because of her lying he had left her for so long. Her skin crawled as she thought about Merlin's reaction to some of her secrets. But the man needed to know. He needed to know about her past.

Only when she looked down at her hands, did she see that her hands were shaking. They were shaking uncontrollably, she knew why; they were scared about what Merlin will do after he knows. She was scared what she will do after Merlin knows. But she was most of all scared of where that will leave them after Merlin knew of her secrets.

Tears sprang to her eyes as she remembered all of the pain and suffering which had been bestowed upon her. She imagined Merlin crying, shouting, throwing up, and laughing all towards her pain. Her shaking hands clasped together in an act to steady herself but it was too late.

The room raced with her mind. She fell out of bed before throwing up squarely onto the floor.

She had tried to do it as neatly as possible (for she had gotten a lot of practise recently) but her body wrenched at the effort and her mind set did not help her keep her dignity. She had never felt so disgusting in her life. Merlin awoke at the sound and was by her side in an instant, Giaus had taught him well, for he fixed her up quite well, and didn't seem to mind she had thrown up. He made her change her dress, and gave her a basin of water to wash with. When she came back he had disposed of the sick and seemed not fazed by it.

"Sorry", it seemed to have become her new favourite word.

"It'll be me tomorrow" he said simply. He meant that he might be ill tomorrow like she was. Not the way she was horribly sick. He compassionately pulled the hair out of her eyes, trying to in an effort comfort her.

She stood and walked shakily to the table, Merlin stayed kneeling where he was before sighing and walking next to her. Morgana's hands were still shaking, but she took his hands in hers letting him stroke them into composure.

"Merlin." She didn't know where she was going to start, "Merlin, do you still love me?" she asked sincerely but her eyes were not looking at him.

Merlin was silent for a while, before saying to her "you know I do" he cupped her cheek with is hand in an act to assure her. Her eyes were not looking at him, she wasn't convinced. Merlin leaned over the table and kissed her lips, it was a quick peck, but it was full of compassion and affection.

That slightly reassured her, "I love you too Merlin" she lapsed into silence as she consider how much she or if any details should tell him. She wanted this relationship to work…Well not be swatted out instantly…Her conscious told her to tell him all…But her brain cautioned her, remembering all the times she had lost him and all the hopeless nights she had mourned her lost chance.

She put her index finger in her mouth and began to tear the flesh with her teeth, blood dribbled down her teeth and chin as her body was oblivious to the pain it was causing itself.

Merlin stared shocked at her; his hand gently took her poor hand away from harm. He met no resistance, on the contrary, as soon as the flesh was taken away from her lips her teeth began to gnaw on her bottom lip until that too bleed. Merlin tried to shake her out of it but she seemed too engrossed in her own thoughts. He waited. Patience told him interruption now would be catastrophic.

At last she cleared her throat and wiped her chin with the back of her hand, as if it was something innocent like milk and not her own blood she was wiping.

"Merlin…"

"Yes." He tried to not sound too much like begging.

"Were you a virgin when you slept with me?"

Merlin nearly choked with a dry throat, "what?"

"You heard me."

Merlin looked around as if someone from the outside looking in could help him answer. Merlin swallowed and cleared his throat seven different times. "Well…You must understand a servant…Arthur's protection is a twenty-four hour job…well…"

"I'll take that as a yes."

Merlin held his head in his hands his cheeks tomato red.

"I wasn't."

Merlin's head rose from his hands, he stared shocked at her statement. "You didn't bleed when we first…" his voice trailed away, as he realised what he was saying. He was shocked, at her…He knew she was a woman with a past but…She was often so cold towards him, he had often pushed it to the back of his mind. He had hoped she had given into him because she loved him, but he was not the first man she had given into "who was he?" he assumed it was just one man.

She bit her lip before covering her eyes and muttered "Cenred."

Merlin felt like he had been kicked in the stomach.

Cenred.

King Cenred.

He remembered that despicable, appalling, horrendous, dreadful, vile and disgusting man. He imagined him and Morgana fornicating together. Must have been exciting for her, sleeping with her sister's lover. He saw Cenred and Morgana kissing and laughing together. He wondered whether Cenred and Morgana discussed him, whether she even cared for him back then. Did Morgana love Cenred or did she merely use him as a strategic devise to gain more power, when she was training with Morgause and Cenred he knew so little about it, anything could have happened. Was she merely using him as a means to gain power and to kill him, like she did Cenred? His heart told him no, she had killed Cenred in a fit of rage…trying to protect him…But what if…What if that was all part of the plan to gain his trust?

He rubbed his eyes with his hands as his eyes stung with the questions which exploded in his mind. She reached out to touch him, but Merlin moved away from her. She felt as if her insides had been squeezed together. But she couldn't turn back now. She must go on.

"Merlin you must understand-"

"Did you love him?"

"No!" she cried, she could never feel anything but hurt by Cenred's hand. "Merlin please-"

"The why did you-"

"He forced himself on me!" she yelled at him standing.

Merlin stared at her. Oh no. This was worse. His mind was now whitewashed with her and Cenred no longer lustily kissing, but her screaming and him laughing. He held his head in his hands; he was filled with anger and rage towards Cenred. If he was not already dead Merlin would have tracked him down and killed him. He would have made Cenred pay, hurt him like he had hurt Morgana. His hands shook into fists as (for the first time in his life) he wished he could kill a man. He felt ten times worse because he had doubted her for not being straight with him.

Morgana shook as tear dribbled down her face; she stared at him unblinkingly, as the tears overflowed from her eyes and down her cheeks. "I never meant to tell you," he didn't know whether she was talking to him or to herself now. "It happened the day before we invaded. My sister told me that Cenred wanted me or something like that. And then…" Her hand covered her eyes as all of the pain and misery she had kept inside struggled to stay restrained.

Merlin watched her, he couldn't move. He stayed sitting in his chair waiting, he could tell if he went to her now she will never open up like this again.

She sniffed and recovered slightly, she wanted to sit, but if she looked into Merlin's face she was scared of what she might see. Instead she walked to her bed and sat on the edge of it facing slightly away from him. "Merlin, you have no idea what it was like…I…for a while, was scared of you." She smiled as her eyes glistened in the moonlight. "Crazy isn't it? You? Of all the people on the world to be scared of. You are the least threatening man I have ever met. That's probably why I gave in. Because I knew you were different. Because I knew it would be different." She looked down at her hands.

Merlin stood out of his chair. He needed some air, anything for him to get his head together.

She looked at him. She panicked. She feared if she stopped now…She'll never become this unscrewed, this desperate, this honest again. "Merlin wait" she pleaded.

"I have to breathe" Merlin muttered holding his face.

"Merlin please…"

"Morgana, I can't listen to anymore.

Morgana closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She chewed her lip. Now or never "I had a baby because of it." As soon as she said it she wished she hadn't. Her stomach tensed at the memory of the ordeal and her tears seemed to be back with a vengeance. Her hands had screwed into fists at her side and were shaking so hard her nails dug into the palms of her hands which drew blood.

Merlin turned to her, his eyes wide with shock. He said nothing; he walked out of the room and outside.

~::~ 

Merlin stood in the cold night air, his hand clamped over his mouth; tears fell from his eyes as the truth came crashing onto his head. He sank down to his knees still holding his face in his hands. He cried into them like a baby. He felt like an infant, totally useless in the midst of tragedy. He wept for Morgana because of the feelings he held for her, but because she was a human being and she had been treated so badly in her life, and he had no idea how bad it had gotten.

~::~

Morgana sat on her bed as she sobbed, her arms had wrapped around her waist for warmth as she rocked herself backwards and forwards. Her sobs came out in terrible gasps for she was swallowing mouthfuls of air because he suddenly couldn't breathe. When people say you had a broken heart, she had always disagreed with, for she felt the pain coming from her diaphragm as opposed to her chest. The pain felt as if the muscles had been ripped apart, or someone had secured a massive belt around her waist.

~::~

Merlin at last brought up the courage to enter the house once again. The tipping weight which had tipped the scales was that he loved her. And whatever she said it was going to hurt her a lot more than it just hurt him. He walked into the house.

His heart broke when he saw her on the bed alone, her arms wrapped around her stomach as she sniffed the last of her tears away. Not that she hadn't done crying, she had merely run out of water for her tears to use.

Merlin walked into the room, he walked to the bed and sat beside her. She looked at him her eyes red from the tears. Another pang of sorrow hit his heart, at the sheer patheticness of her image. He put his arms around her and hugged her. Morgana pressed her cheek against his shoulder her eyes closed for a second. Merlin resolved no matter how bad the details got, no matter how hard he wanted to cry, he would not break down in front of her. She needed him to be strong and listen to her confessions.

"What happened?" he asked his chin on her head.

She sighed, she wished and hoped the last five minutes had not happened, her throat and voice box felt water logged but she struggled to get the gears working so she could speak. "I didn't really know." She felt comforted by Merlin squeezing her slightly when she finally spoke. "I had wondered for months…I wasn't showing…Not until the end anyway…I had no symptoms I could remember, I was so struck with grief I could barely remember individual weeks let alone days. My wonderings at last took me to a hid away for witches. I was so glad to be taken in and treated with kindness that my cynical apprehension failed me."

Merlin was looking down at her, he could just see her through all of her untidy hair, he told himself of to move for he feared any movement could hinder any details.

"I don't remember when I found out…Maybe I knew all along. But what I didn't know was that the witches knew…They were agents from Morgause. She had known too the whole time. It was part of the prophecy that I will be impregnated by a king. It was just a matter of time of when it would happen. I wouldn't be surprised of and Cenred had planned this all along."

She closed her eyes as she put off the inevitable, "I thought I was being discrete" she laughed a horrible trembling laugh "but how could I be, the months of no signs suddenly melted away as I grew each day bigger and bigger. For the last few months I felt nothing but depression for the child that grew inside me. Every kick I felt reminded me of my predicament and as the due date came closer and closer I only wondered what was to become of me and the child."

Merlin pulled her closer to him; he hitched her legs so she was now fully sitting on his lap. They looked like one person sitting in the darkness. She felt so cold next to him; he wanted to rub her arms to get some friction going into her body. But he now physically couldn't move.

"The witches showed their real intent when they locked me in my bed chambers to have my child. They hadn't betrayed any intent of menacing behaviour no odd looks, nothing that showed me they knew about my condition. I even kidded myself at night they probably had no idea what pregnancy was. But as my due date arrived and I woke up a couple of times with contraction pains, they made their move and locked me in my room."

Merlin's finger tips caressed her back and arms gently to let her now subtly that he was still there and listening. He wanted her to feel he was with her this time around in these terrible events.

"Fourteen hours. Fourteen hours of labour, all on my own. I was scared stiff I started at nine in the morning and it ended at eleven o'clock at night. Not that I wanted them of course. Whenever they tried to open the door I screamed at them to get out and leave me alone." She paused obviously trying to put off the unstoppable details. "I had a son." She smiled as a tear went down her cheek.

Merlin caught it with his thumb and pushed it until it ran out of moisture and dried on her cheek. Aside from that he remained motionless by her side.

"I had him for five hours. He laid in my arms all of that time, I bet he even knew who I was." Her own arms scooped the empty air around her as if she was still holding him. "I loved him the moment I saw him. I can't even believe now that I managed to make something that perfect. I even managed to stop him crying." She sat up properly so she could now face him, she felt like she could face him considering he had heard the most part now and was still here.

"What happened to him?"

"She suddenly felt weak again, it was so easy just talking into Merlin's shoulder she wished she hadn't left, but she had to swallow the remaining hurt and carry on despite how much it hurt. "I didn't even get to name him. I saw the sun come up with him and I held him for five hours and I didn't think to name him in case…" she covered her eyes as yet another deep pain she had buried away began to rear its ugly head at her.

Merlin went out to pull her back against him again, but he stopped when she raised her hand to him to stop him as she pulled herself together.

"They took him away from me. They came in at four in the morning and snatched him out of my arms. I know now they were under orders from Morgause, but then I felt terror. I knew in my heart they were going to try and hurt him. I screamed and tried to kill them, but nothing worked, I was too weak. They left me in that room alone, probably they left me so I could pull myself together. I screamed and kicked the door, but nothing worked. At last when I exhausted myself they took me out of that dreadful place and dumped me in the forest. I was left alone. Again." Merlin felt a pang of guilt as he remembered leaving her alone for five months. "I of course tracked down the witches and killed every single one of them, I always asked what had become of him, but they said they were under orders not to tell me. The last one spilled the beans though, she told me Morgause had him and was training him, she had called him…Mordred." Morgana lapsed into silence as she thought about her son, he was five years old. She shivered at the thought she was letting her son go through the things she went through.

Merlin sat next to her physically exhausted; he didn't know what to say. What could he say? He pulled her so he and she sat side by side. Her head lay on his shoulder as at last the thoughts came into some form of order. She stood and walked to the other side of the room, "That's not the last time I was pregnant Merlin."

Merlin once again chocked at the revelation. How many other babies were running around outside, five? Six? A hundred?

She turned to him her eyes full with sorry, "they were yours Merlin."

Merlin looked away; she couldn't have had his children. They had been together for over a year now he would have noticed, aside from that five months, but she couldn't have had more than one in that time scale…Oh no. His mind figured it out on its own.

"I lost them Merlin."

She had had miscarriages. Oh no. He held his head in his hands. Tears welled up in his eyes, for his babies which lost their lives, for Morgana who had to go through all that on her own, but also he felt impending doom come for him, he knew he wasn't the innocent sweet Merlin who cracked a joke at intervals, he had to grow up and become a man, for her sake he had to grow up. He felt a pat on his shoulder.

Morgana was by his side sitting next to him at the table. Her eyes were full of apology, but also tiredness had seemed to have swept over her. Her hair was limp, her face seemed to be lifeless, and her eyes seemed both relieved and worried at the same time. This was probably the first time she had shown anyone her true feelings. Her true hurt.

Merlin wrapped his arms around her, he buried his head into her shoulder and he felt her do the same. He pressed a kiss onto her cheek, trying in an act comfort her. They stayed there for a very long time, both sniffed and swallowed as they regained composure. At last Merlin licked his lips and muttered "I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault."

"I know but I wish I could understand-"

"How can you?" she snapped pushing away from him and struggling to her legs "I wish I had never been born! I wished I never lived! I can't even die Merlin; I can't even be given the relief of death! They think I can take it" She muttered suddenly quiet, "they think I don't have feelings, or feel pain. But I do! And I can't take much more of this! One more bad thing happens to me Merlin and I just die! I'll just give up on it all!"

Merlin muffled out her words as he took her face in his hands, "I know, I know, I'm sorry. I'm sorry." He put his arms around her and pulled her against him again. He carried her into their bed and laid down next to her.

"I'm going to stay here with you" he said determinedly, and he meant it.

"You need to go back" she muttered her eyes tired.

"Well, I'll be here for a month. I won't leave you when you're like this." He put his hand on her arm to show commitment.

She smiled at him, "thank you Merlin."

~::~

She went in and out of sleep. Only waking for a few minutes until lapsing back into sleep.

Merlin could not sleep. His mind was filled with grief and questions which he didn't dare bring up. He often looked at her sleeping next to him; he always comforted her if she started awake, and kissed her when she slept.

At last he couldn't take it anymore.

He shook her awake.

She stirred and opened her eyes "Merlin?"

"Why are you telling me this now?"

Morgana closed her eyes slowly "I'll tell you tomorrow."

"No, now" if he knew one thing from this is that she probably won't tell him anything unless it's all in one go.

She sighed opening her eyes, "I'm tired Merlin."

"Please Morgana" he whispered his head against hers.

She was still for a moment, she opened her eyes and she looked at him, she closed her eyes. At first he thought she was thinking, but she was falling asleep again. Before she was completely out of it she picked up Merlin's hand and pressed it against her stomach.

Merlin's hands felt as if all feeling had been severed out of his arm. He could feel a slight firmness inside her. He knew what this meant.

"I've never carried one for this length of time before." She muttered almost in her sleep.

Merlin stared at her. In all of this bad news he had no idea that good news could creep up on you like this. He stared open mouth at her. She was once again asleep probably unawares of what she had done. He put himself close to her; she must have been impregnated when they had sex before they had that argument. He had never felt so happy in spite of being so sad and angry a few minutes since.

He was going to be a daddy.

He smiled laughing slightly, he was so happy. He was going to look after her now; he was going to look after both of them. He wasn't going to let her be alone ever again.

Never ever again.

~::~

Review Me!


	23. Capture

Evil

Chapter Nine: Capture

Morgana smiled when she imagined Merlin as a father. She frowned when she thought of herself as a mother.

She was so careful now she was pregnant. She made Merlin heal every cut and scar that went across her skin; she refused to go out in the full sun in case she burst into flames and any other little conveniences she had before brushed aside she took very seriously. Merlin understood. They often didn't discuss their predicament together; both knew the other was scared to get their hopes up.

But…

She couldn't lie to herself like others in her position would. She knew this couldn't work. Merlin was trying now, at every chance he got he was by her side, sometimes for only a few hours, he had to protect Arthur and visit her sometimes all in one day. Morgana knew Merlin was exhausted. She did not let on to him that she knew this fact.

Other problems were now arising, Morgana's power was weakening with every month she continued to be pregnant, this was because the power she relied on to protect herself was now working to protect her child. This was dangerous, her house had a powerful charm around it, which made it seem unnoticeable and inconspicuous. Without it she could feel the druids, knights and, the most dangerous of all, Morgause prowling her territory.

Morgana believed that this was not going to be a threat for much longer; she knew she'd have to move on sooner or later. Her house was no place for an infant, she had nightmares depicting toddlers falling down the cliff edge, or picking up one of her jars of poison and downing it and that one when she saw the roof give in on it.

No, no it would not do. She'd have to get to a safer location…But there was no hurry.

~::~

The moon was a crescent on the horizon, the clouds which had burdened the sun through the day had now cleared, and the stars shone through the heavens. Morgana had just that second concluded with herself that she did not like being pregnant. No, scrap that, she _hated _being pregnant. She was eight months gone and she was enormous. Her moods had become less predictable for herself and Merlin, the constant movement from the baby inside her, and her body no longer felt like it belonged to her, it had been taken over by another force altogether, her movement felt clunky and slow, and her hands and fingers seemed to have slightly swollen to the point her (not so rational) mind couldn't imagine them gripping or lifting ever again.

On this night of the events that will change both of their lives, Merlin had managed to visit her for a couple of nights while Arthur was on a secret mission. The couple had spent some well-earned time together and they acted in the appropriate way that an expecting mother and father should act. As the evening wore on Merlin at last collapsed on the bed from exhaustion while Morgana stayed up. Not by choice mind you, the constant movement and the feel of restlessness (only an expecting mother and witch can feel) had made it next to impossible for her to sleep for more than a few hours a night. She sat her arms crossed (as best they could) resting on her stomach, and she looked miserable. She was so tired; her life really was slowing down. She feared that if she grew any larger she'd burst.

Merlin was pretending to sleep next to her, he had tried to sleep but he could tell by the tension in the air that Morgana was looking for a reason to have a good argument with someone. He knew she didn't know the fact that he was still awake, and frankly he'd like to keep it that way.

Morgana looked at him, she then muttered "you bastard, you did this to me" but she (in her Morgana way) spoke with such affection Merlin thought it was a compliment before the meaning of the words sunk in for him.

"Takes two to dual" he muttered making her jump slightly.

"Yes, but you don't have the acknowledgement of that fact wrapped around your waist."

Merlin smiled his eyes still closed, "not much I can do about that."

Morgana rolled her eyes before lying down next to him, she sighed loudly to let on (even a blind person knew) that she might have dropped the charges against Merlin, but she hadn't forgotten about it. Merlin sighed putting an arm around her. It hadn't exactly been easy for any of them; both of them knew the problems of bringing a child into the world meant, it didn't need to be made any more complicated by the situation of two of the most powerful beings on the planet having a child together.

"I'm staying when the child is born" Merlin muttered his eyes never opening.

"Don't promise things you cannot keep" Morgana muttered her eyes closing.

Merlin sighed; he knew actions spoke louder than words for her. So for now he had to bite his tongue and follow his word. He did not notice that the wind which was howling outside was growing louder and louder outside.

Morgana felt something in her bones. She knew something was coming; she sat up and looked out of window. Her eyes shone through the darkness, cutting through the trees like a knife. They met a couple of piercing blue. She recognised them, she growled her voice carrying through the air and hitting her sister's eyes with such force that she had to retreat back to the edge of Morgana's borders.

The danger was still in the air. She bold sat up and walked through the door and outside. The night was clear; the moon was in full view which shone through the night sky. Her eyes patrolled the woods; everything was silent for a moment.

Her ears rung in the silence, not even an owl hooting in the darkness, no crickets chirping, no trees moving from the creatures that took sanctuary on her land. Her eyes met with another's in the darkness, brown and gentle, she recognised them, different from icy blue she had warned off.

She backed away and slunk back into the house slamming the door behind her, she did it because she knew if she leapt into the approaching danger, she would not have made it, let alone her child. And she wanted to spend the last of her dwindling time with Merlin.

"What is it?" Merlin asked barely conscious on her bed.

"Nothing, go back to sleep" she smiled. Lying was easy for her. She lay down on her bed and rested her head on Merlin's chest.

"Are you sure?" Merlin asked yawning slightly.

"Yes. Please sleep."

Merlin obediently closed his eyes and fell asleep. Morgana waited, her head never moving off of Merlin, her smile she had kept on her lips dropped as soon as Merlin's eyes closed. Her eyes became heavier and heavier until she too fell asleep.

~::~

Smoke bleed through the air. Merlin's eyes fluttered open at the smell of the smoke. He was dreaming about stars, flying through the sky, striking the earth which burst into flames. One of the stars struck quite close to him, the light burning through his eyes and into his brain. He opened his eyes as the light overpowered his dreams and ran into reality. He couldn't see anything at first. The smoke around him blinded his senses.

He believed he was still dreaming, but as the heat of the flames grew stronger, he soon realise that the fire was real. Merlin shot up in bed; he chocked and spluttered as the nausea of the smoke blew away the last shards of sleep off of him. He heard voices outside.

"Sire, I believe Agravaine is correct. The witch's hideout is here" Merlin heard Gawain's voice cry over the blaze of the smoke.

Arthur said nothing; he merely crossed his arms and watched the house continue to blaze.

Merlin felt all of the colour run out of his body. Arthur…He must have followed him…or stumbled on Morgana's hideout…Or Agravaine (the prince's uncle) must have guessed or had a tip off. He knew his life with Morgana and his life with Arthur must be kept as far apart as physically possible. He stumbled through the room and landed on the bed. Morgana was sleeping somehow taking the intense heat and the lack of air due to the smoke around them. He shook her and called her name but she refused to respond from his calls.

Panicking Merlin pulled her out of the bed and letting her fall onto the ground to keep under the smoke line. At last she seemed to react, her eyes opened (if not lazily) and she seemed to be stirred awake by the uncontaminated air. Her eyes opened fully when her head worked out what exactly was going on. She struggled to stand, but Merlin pulled her back down again to stop her breathing in the deadly black air above them.

Merlin gave her a hard look and at last er face resolved. She knew she couldn't save her home.

They had to save themselves.

Morgana took his hand in hers and raised her palm to the wall farthest away from the fire. Merlin knew what she was going to do instantly and mirrored her action. They both held their breathe and readied their voice muscles before uttering.

"Diflannu."

The sensation was very peculiar, the smell almost melted them through the (once) secure walls, the best way to describe such an experience is like moving through jelly or rather _swimming _through jelly, and coming out the other side burnt and suffocated. The spell pushed them both through the walls and tumbled them down the hill until they landed in a heap on the edge of the woods.

Merlin saw the Knights of the Round Table gather in a small cluster in front of the house, some baring torches and other swords and other such weapons. He grabbed Morgana's arm to pull her away but she stood motionless, in practical full view on the out skirts of the woods, her arm dropped limply to her side as she stood watching her house ablaze.

Morgana's eyes felt heavy and old as she watched her home for the past four years go up in smoke. This was the first home she had ever felt she belonged to, also it was a sanctuary for her, the walls a trustworthy cave for her and Merlin to live in peace. And now all of that past security was going up in flames. It was almost poetic, if it wasn't so tragic.

Again Merlin's hand grasped her own and tried to pull her into the safety of the shadows. She shed one tear for her lost life before turning back to Merlin, her face carefully expressionless. Merlin said nothing; he knew she knew that they had to put as much ground between them and Arthur as fast as possible. They turned away to run for the hills.

But out of the corner of his eye, Merlin was sure, nay positive, that he saw Arthur turn his head and see them slink away.

~::~

The two walked through the trees the orange light of the fire growing dimer and dimer until the trees totally submerged it. Morgana insisted on matching Merlin stride for stride, she had lost her home she could not afford to lose her pride, even though it was obvious from the hard thumps from the inside of her womb and the pains in her chest that she needed to give herself five minutes to recover.

Merlin himself was so wrapped up in getting as far away as possible. He only began to sort his racings thoughts out as dawn approached them. He stopped and turned to look at her to see if she was alright, it struck him right at that moment on how pregnant she was and how tired she must be. Morgana of course showed no sign of fatigue, but he could tell that he needed to give her a minute to let her homelessness sink in and to give her a break after a five hour walk.

"We should rest for a while."

"Do you think it's safe?" Morgana asked as she passed him, her contrariness and pride would not let herself be shown as weak even to the one man who should know her better than anyone else.

Merlin was too tired to argue, he instead decided to play along "please Morgana" he subtly begged "I'm exhausted, I've got to stop for a few minutes rest."

Morgana turned and looked at him before sighing with mock resentment; she stopped and slowly walked to an old oak to sit against it. She knew that her use of magic was going to have consequences, her laps in self-control meant that for a single minute she had put her child in grave danger. And yet, all that had happened to her in the past six hours had rendered her lassitude, aside from the odd kick to tell her that she could not forget her condition. Her eyes drooped as the sun crackled through the leaves above her.

She felt herself smiling; it was an odd reaction she never usually understood. But today was different; the sun was shining through the clear sky blue, the trees around them stood like perpendicular guardians to them, even the birds dare sing in her presence. From last night's panic, confusion and loss it felt almost surreal that this day was so beautiful.

"Reminds me of when Mordred was born" she muttered almost to herself. She only knew she had said such a thing when she felt Merlin tense. He was stumbling in front of her gathering leaves and fire wood, obviously to make dinner, he stopped. She had not talked to him since that fateful night about Mordred, and yet he wanted to know more.

"How?" he asked as slowly and quietly as he could.

She didn't want to tell him, she felt like a child who was forced to share her toys with another, yet she knew he had a right to know…No, he did not. He was not the boy's father; he hadn't even met the infant. But still she found herself creaking her back against the uncomfortable bark before answering "the day. It was a lot like this one. After that horrible night giving birth to him…When the morning sun rose up from the hills I could fell the sunshine on me…I felt like a new person as well as holding a new one too. I guess I just felt optimistic…Stupid really."

Merlin nodded, he wasn't sure completely what he was supposed to say. Morgana was angry that she let herself tell Merlin one of her favourite memories. She was still fuming when her eyes fell on some bushes which stood on the hill above her. There was nothing particularly odd about them, but the way they stood, the way they seemed to regard her made her feeling increasingly uneasy. Something was telling her senses that these bushes were watching her.

Merlin took her silence for frustration, he sat next to her, "you should rest, and we have a long way to go."

She tested him "Merlin, where are we going." She doubted if he had a better idea than she had.

Merlin shifted uncomfortably, "well at first I booked on Spain, but then I thought that was a bit too ambitious, the Scottish hates us, and the Saxons have taken over East England so…Wales sound good to you? Just keep going north and we'll be across the border in no time."

"You're an idiot Merlin" Morgana smiled affectionately despite herself, she kissed his cheek to show that she meant it.

Merlin chuckled like a school boy with his first kiss, he stood "I better get some more fire wood" his huge grin didn't shift.

"Take your time." She muttered closing her eyes and trying in vain to fall asleep.

Merlin smiled before walking into the woods to gather the promised fire wood.

She didn't watch him go, she didn't need to, and she knew he wouldn't leave her behind, yet…this sense of being watched did not stop. Morgana stood and looked around; there was nothing strange about the clearing to betray anything sinister. But as she looked at the hill she saw the bushes which had fascinated her before had gone. She started at that, her back against the tree. Something very wrong was going on. Somebody was here…Somebody was here.

She heard a snap of a twig behind her, she turned in the direction, "Merlin?" she asked hoping it was just him coming back.

There was silence for a while…Then a battle cry came through the air of the forest, almost immediately the scene changed, the birds flew away, the clouds dimmed and covered the sun. But Morgana hadn't taken any of that in, she had turned and ran as fast as possible away from the cry.

Druids?

Knights?

Morgause?

She skidded through the leaves trying to keep her balance, as she did so she could see five or six shining knights running after her, they all held a sword and shield, and she was sure they were going to use them. Her eyes could not distinguish face or features to know who, all she did know was that she had to move as fast as possible. She turned forward and started to dodge trees and roots to give herself as much of a chance as possible.

Her run wasn't fast, but she was nimble despite her extra weight load, whereas the knights who were covered in clunky metal could not take the sharp turns she managed. They were gaining on her, and she couldn't run forever, already a stitch was growing inside her and she couldn't keep breathing like this for long. She tried to take another sharp turn, but one of the knights (Leon she later assumed) saw this coming and threw himself at her. This totally removed her feet from her legs for she tumbled with him into a heap. She shakily got on her hands and knees and tried to stand, but she couldn't stand for more than a couple of minutes, she wobbled and fell down the hill she had fallen on.

The hill was quite steep and she could only hope that rocks weren't at the bottom of it. It was worse than that. She fell off of the hill, which had a slight curve up, and fell into a lake which was at the bottom of it.

Luckily for her the lake was quite deep. She sank at first her arms and legs too tired, but at last she managed to find the remainder of her strength to go towards the surface of the lake. She couldn't hold her breathe and longer before she burst out of the water. She half thrashed half swam to the bank; and then lay on in the mud her throat and lungs completely collapsed.

Shadows gathered over her as the knights caught up to her, Morgana's eyes slowly closed as her body went into utter fatigue. The world then went black.

~::~

"You probably felt like you had no choice but to behave in the manner you have."

Morgana's eyes slowly opened, the cell she had landed herself in, was dark which made it harder for her to find out where the voice was coming from.

"I suppose you could go as far to say you were a lost princess, banished by a tyrant king, whose fate was to take over Camelot. Well that stops now."

Her head pounded as she went onto her hands and knees in an effort to face her insulter, her head felt like it had been laced with lard, she felt her insides groan and creak as she sat against the wall.

"And I'll make sure of that." Agravaine promised walking out of the shadows "Because we're going to break you."

~::~

"Arthur!" Merlin called catching up to Prince Arthur in the corridor. He looked awful he had been out all night trying to find her, only when he saw the horses hooves did his worst fears become realised. "The street said the Lady Morgana was captured is that true.

Arthur was going to an important war meeting but stopped and turned to Merlin "what do you care?" he asked surprisingly sourly.

"Because she was once our friend, she has been called the most horrific nemesis known to our kingdom, I have a right to know."

Arthur took Merlin's neck in a chokehold and pressed him against the wall "you have no right." He spat at Merlin's face "you forsook that right when you sided with her, I saw you two Merlin, a right little couple aren't you? I saw her kiss you and call your name. You're a traitor Merlin and you deserve to be burnt next to her."

"What's going to happen to her?" Merlin asked through gritted teeth.

Arthur dropped him and started to walk again to the war meeting, he turned and looked at Merlin, "I don't know, I'm not king yet Merlin, I'm as good as but legally I'm still a prince. If the judgement is so we will kill her. If the council hears from Giaus about her child's prophecy we will avert its birth and prevent Morgana from having any more children. But it's not my judgement to be pleaded to, tomorrow night she will see father in his chambers, if she makes a good case for herself she might be spared death, if not…Well we'll just have to see."

Merlin stood dumbstruck by the news.

"Oh and Merlin," Arthur called not turning back "you're fired."

~::~

TO.

BE.

CONCLUDED!

The last chapter will be submitted on the 23rd of December! An epilogue will also be submitted on the 24th of December. It's the home run guys! I don't know whether to cry or laugh I'm so happily sad!

See you on the 23rd!

For the FINAL CHAPTER of Evil!


	24. Birth

Evil

Chapter Ten: Birth

"Savages!" Merlin snarled as he sat opposite Giaus. He doubted if Giaus could hear him, whose hearing had worsened lately.

Giaus was pouring over book after book after book looking over past magician's prophesy and star gazers who were privileged enough to view the future.

In any case Giaus didn't look up from the book he was reading. Merlin sighed; it wasn't often when he damned all of Camelot as Barbarians and thugs, but when he did he wanted some recognition for it. He mooderly turned the page of the book he was reading.

This one was a particular radical, it promised that a witch, an illegitimate daughter of a king, will take over as queen of Camelot. Her son will kill Arthur in a bloody last battle, before she was driven away by him. What happened after that was unclear, but the son would be killed by the Saxons and the people of Camelot.

It was hard distinguishing who was Mordred and who wasn't by these books.

He hoped Morgana told the truth about her real son living somewhere with Morgause, but she had no evidence or proof to show she had had a child and if so if he was the one that the prophecy spoke of. Merlin rubbed his eyes, he was not allowed within a hundred yards of Morgana's cell, how could he get to her and save her if he couldn't even approach it?

There was timid knock on the door before Gwen came in slightly flushed from the cold air.

Merlin's head was immediately up his brain working fast as he calculated the plan he had hatched. It was worth a try.

"Giaus" Gwen greeted smiling "Arthur's back pain has come back, could you please give me the sedative you prescribed last time?" she asked her smile shining the grey little room instantly.

Giaus stood muttering about Arthur being more careful and jousting accidents before disappearing into his supply cupboard.

Merlin stayed seated watching Gwen very carefully, wondering just how much she knew.

"Good evening Gwen" he muttered slowly but casually.

Gwen turned genuinely shocked to see Merlin in the room; obviously she wasn't used to Merlin being so tranquil in her presence, which was true, Merlin usually would smile at her and joke around a bite and laugh at Arthur with her. He had never been this serious before in his life. "Merlin" she greeted although a little cautious given Merlin's mood.

"Shame about Morgana Gwen" Merlin decided to get to the point.

"I know, awful that she's captured."

Good. Arthur didn't tell Gwen. She mustn't know about him and Morgana. "She's pregnant, you know Gwen."

Gwen jumped a little; she had just had a child so she knew the instincts and feelings Morgana must be going through. "I had no idea." She muttered before facing back to the store cupboard where Giaus was still searching through.

Merlin looked around; he knew what he had to say to her to get her to help him, it was his only chance, yet it could so poorly back fire. He took a deep breath before saying "I'm the father."

Gwen turned to him her eyes wide with astonishment, Merlin the most uninteresting or unsurprising man in the world was the cause of all this. "If this is a joke Merlin, it's not funny." She snapped, she was surprised how vicious she was acting, yet she still grimly held onto the hope Merlin was kidding with her.

"I'm not joking Gwen. For the past year or so, I've been going to see her up in the hills. We had a relationship together."

Gwen blinked at him before striding out the door, "I won't need that medicine after all Giaus" she snapped before slamming the door after her.

Merlin ran after her into the cold air, "If you would just talk to her" he begged following her.

"No Merlin." She muttered decisively "if Arthur found out, I would destroy him. I cannot betray him."

"You were her friend."

"Yes, until she invaded, joined our enemy, and nearly killed us all in our beds."

"She's changed!"

"Have you heard yourself Merlin?"

"Gwen!" Merlin shouted stopping in the streets, Gwen stopped too and turned to him, "I cannot make excuses for her past actions, but you cannot pass a judgement on her without meeting her. All I know is that you are our only hope. Please, surely our friendship to you can warrant you to at least hear her out."

Gwen looked away, Merlin's heart leaped as he realised she was considering this.

Gwen covered her face with her right hand "I might not be able to get in."

"You're the Prince Arthur's wife, you can get into anything."

Gwen sighed before closing her eyes "okay. Okay. I'll talk to her, and listen to what she has to say. I'm not promising anything Merlin."

"Thank you Gwen" Merlin smiled bowing his head slightly to her.

Gwen looked at him before looking forward a feeling of dread sweeping over her.

~::~ 

"Sign it. You will before we're finished with you."

"You wrote it. You sign it" Morgana shot back. She wasn't in the best of all moods; she was tied to a chair, in front of Sir Agravaine who was smugly offering a pen to her to sign a document she hadn't even read. Not to mention she had been kept up all night and her back was killing her.

She was rewarded with a slap across the face for insolence.

"Go on sign it. You will before the day is done."

Agravaine again offered her the pen.

"What does it say?"

"Does it matter?"

"To me it does."

"It merely states that you will not be interested in inheriting Camelot if and when Arthur dies and if and when his son dies."

"Trust me I'm not."

"Also, that you acknowledge your crimes and that you will be more than happy to spend the rest of your days in prison, repent on magic, oh and you give up your child at birth or otherwise."

Morgana was silent for a moment, only her eyes moving slightly like a snake's, she was so angry she could barely speak, her nails dug into the bark of the chair wanting so much to kill this man. At last she swallowed her anger and merely stated: "you wrote it you sign it."

She felt fat fingers from behind her grab the back of her hair and smash her skull into the table. Her eyes were blinded by bright lights for a moment and she felt a thump in her rib cage she was unsure was a kick or her heart banging in its cage. She recovered holding her head in her hands; she was having the worst headaches in the history of the word.

"When I get out of this chair Agravaine" she warned.

"Ah, ah, ah!" Agravaine tutted waving his finger in front of her seething face "I'll add that to the list: threatening behaviour."

Her wrists struggled in their restraints, when she got out of this she'll…

"Agravaine sir!" I guard suddenly called from the doorway.

"What is it? Can't you see I'm busy" Agravaine scowled (the first one Morgana had seen all night).

"It's the lady Guinevere sir! Prince Arthur sent her to question the witch."

"He entrusted that to me?" Agravaine snapped "why, to his wife who has just had a child?"

"Because I'm the only one Arthur trusts" Gwen said walking into the room her arms crossed, "I'd like to question her alone."

The guards scattered after a moment of silence and Agravaine finally left a frown on his face and a mutter under his breath.

Morgana was realised and sat on her bed (which she hadn't noticed until that moment).

"If you need any help my lady, just call" a guard muttered in Gwen's ear before slamming the door shut.

There was silence in the room, Morgana and Gwen regarded each other silently, both on a different side of the room. Morgana was in the shadows partially hidden from view; it was easy for Gwen to imagine her as a witch.

"You look well Gwen" Morgana finally said.

"Guinevere." She didn't add 'to you', but Morgana got what she meant.

"You needn't act so grand to me. Remember in the beginning, I was higher than you."

"I do remember. I'm reminded every day of my life. Everyone is waiting for Arthur to divorce me or to get rid of me. I do remember I was a servant and you were a princess, and I do know that the people of Camelot will not forget that fact either. Let's just say I think it'll be more likely that you will be queen before I am."

Morgana stood her head still ringing, Gwen took a step back, "I feel so sorry for you. Compared to me you have hardly been living." Her voice rang with frustration and anger.

Gwen looked away "I'm sorry, I came to help you" she shot back.

"Well what do you expect? A fat, jolly woman filled with good humour and forgiveness?" she shouted approaching Gwen.

Gwen shrank away, her eyes filled with fear as to what this woman would do to her.

Morgana looked at her before turning away from her, she gripped her back with both hands as she steadied her temper and balance, "forgive me Gwen, I was not expecting visitors."

Gwen took a step forward, "you really are pregnant aren't you?" she hadn't managed to get a good look at Morgana's waist line.

Morgana turned back to her more calmly now, "yes. I see you're not anymore."

Gwen smiled (she couldn't help it) "yes, he's six months old."

"A son? Arthur will be pleased."

They were slowly but surely relaxing. Morgana gestured Gwen to sit at the chair she was earlier restrained in. Gwen collapsed in it obviously pleased to take the pressure off of her. "Yes, he was glad that the royal line could continue."

"I had a son once." Morgana commented.

Gwen blinked at her stomach, and then back to her face, "you know what sex the child is?"

"Hmmm? Oh no, no. Not this one, I had one nearly six years ago."

"Oh, I'm sorry." Gwen assumed he had died, that was what had put her off naming her son, in case he too became ill and died, like so many princes before.

"Oh no, he didn't" Morgana said casually, "he was stolen from me. I've never seen him since.2

Gwen reached over and gripped her hand, "I'm sorry" she sympathetically, as she sat next to the witch, she knew Morgana could be lying to her about it all to control her. But something about her eyes and how they looked at her knew Morgana was telling the truth.

Morgana smiled at her (the first one in years to her old friend) "don't be. I'm fine. I'll find him one day."

"So…" Gwen needed to ask. "Merlin told me…He's the father?"

Morgana nodded.

Gwen couldn't help but laugh, "I didn't know he had it in him."

Morgana kept her face straight before smiling and then laughing with Gwen. It almost felt like old times. "Tell me about it."

They carried on laughing, though always wary that the guards could hear them.

"Have you, had the back problems?" Gwen asked as they went onto the subject of pregnancy.

"Yes," Morgana murmured stretching her aching muscles.

"I had the morning sickness practically every morning until the day he was born."

Morgana gave a sympathetic grimace, "if having a baby was easy, Arthur would have a womb."

Again they started laughing, despite the fact that they were laughing at Gwen's husband.

A knock on the door ushered them both silent as a guard entered. "My lady," announced the guard, "King Uther wishes to address the witch himself, I'm sorry but we must remove her now."

Morgana stood frowning, she allowed her wrists to be snapped shut into manacles and dragged away. Gwen grabbed her arm and whispered in her ear: "I will speak with Arthur; I promise you that you won't die here."

Morgana nodded at her thankfully her smile for the second time gracing her lips (even if a little weakly). Before she was dragged away deeper and deeper into the castle.

~::~

She stood in the room, waiting, she felt both tense and calm, ready for a fight. A door closed behind her, Morgana turned to see Uther walk over to her. Oh how the mighty had fallen. He leant heavily on his cane he looked so old.

Part of her couldn't believe that she was ever scared of him.

But as he looked at her with his cold blue eyes she felt a twinge of fear towards him. Old habits died young. Uther took a step towards her and walked around her. He took a painfully long time scrutinising her every move and look.

She wasn't going to speak first; even if they sewed her mouth shut and told her that Uther was now mute she wasn't going to talk. She was still in deep thought when Uther slapped her hard across the face making her fall to the floor. The shock was what really got her, but the feel of the hot slap across her face made her blood boil. She tried to stand but a sudden pain from her stomach rendered her helpless. The old man was strong despite his appearance.

"Well, well, well. And here I thought I'd be long dead before you dare to come back."

"I hoped that to be true too. And I didn't dare, I was brought back."

Uther said nothing turning away, "you may think Arthur is to decide your fate, but you are incorrect. I'm still king, I'm still ruler and I decide your fate."

Morgana stood (if not shakily) taking the pain, "you won't live forever Uther, all of your council perceive you as dead and finished, the people want change from your radical regimes."

"Radical? You speak to me of radical? I'm not the one who ran away from home like a petty child, to join a freak show to learn magic tricks."

"I was a child Uther; I barely knew what I was doing."

"And you've changed now?"

"I'm thirty years old Uther. I'm learnt lessons from experience and failure. I am quite changed."

Uther Pendragon turned away waving his hand slightly "that is neither here nor there."

"Maybe if you had treated me with a bit more warmth and not like an outcast when you found out I was magic we might not be in this mess."

"What happened happened. There is nothing I can do and no mistake I might or might not have made can be change" Uther leant heavily on his cane before going into a coughing fit. Morgana waited patiently.

"Surely, if we started again as a family, then peace can be retained."

"You'd like that wouldn't you?" Uther snarled turning to her his eyes little balls of fire.

"When is everyone going to get into their thick head: I don't want to be queen. Maybe I did once but that was a long time ago, I have no ambition, all I want is to be left alone."

"Left alone? I have never heard so much rubbish in my life. You crave nothing but absolute power, I saw you and your sister invade and try to take the thrown by force. You might have, but we have not the men that you killed that night still have mourning families."

Morgana could not help but laugh "a joke, a complete joke" she snapped through the laughter "I have to be bad; others have to be made to break away from you. I can't say anything can I? All the time I have been away, I have been scapegoated for crimes I did not commit, and you have leached off of that to make the people never except me as a person or as a ruler, and to clear away room for your son for a position I never wanted!" She was going to continue and drum the old man so full of self-doubt and self-pity he'd break down. But again Morgana underestimated Uther's strength.

Uther let out a roar and grabbed her throat in his hand and strangled her against the back wall. "I could kill you now and no one will blame me. I might even get a festival to commemorate this day. But that's too easy for you isn't it?"

Morgana let out a croak to try and defy Uther's words. Instead his grip tightened on her making her feet struggle for groan to stabilise herself, her hands gripped his wrist trying to make it loosen but to no avail.

"You want to be alone? Fine. There are a few small islands off the coast of Scotland. It'll be very dangerous getting you there yes, but you can manage it can't you? I know just the island for you. It's ten minutes' walk all the way around it and across it. You'd have to find a way to govern this mighty empire."

Uther dropped her onto the ground, Morgana collapsed onto her knees holding her throat in her hands, it felt like breathing through a straw her breath was coming out in little gasps. She tried to stop it to not show weakness in front of Uther but it couldn't be stopped. Uther looked at her a sneer across his lips. Before turning away from her and making to the door.

"I will give my judgement at your trial with much enthusiasm Morgana. I will make sure personally that you and your child will never grace these halls again.

~::~

Arthur sighed, before covering his eyes; he had had a hard day with the council. The outcry of the people was that they wanted Morgana to die, and the council with his uncle Agravaine wanted him to pass the death warrant on her. Uther was so senile now that he couldn't make a decision about her. In many respects he would have killed her after a fair trial, but now she was pregnant he had to decide which of two lives should end.

His son crawled around his feet playing with a wooden horse daintily chewing it in his mouth. He smiled every now and then using his foot to push the horse away from him. His son screamed with happiness at every movement his father bestowed on him.

Gwen walked into their bedroom. She smiled at her son before sitting next to Arthur; she pushed the hair out of his eyes "you look troubled" she commented before kissing his cheek.

Arthur smiled at her before pushing the horse a few inches to the right. Again his son let out a shriek and crawled to his wooden toy. The two parents sat by side watching their son play.

"We still have to name him" Gwen smiled at Arthur tempting the idea.

"I thought the plan was to wait a year" Arthur smiled.

"Oh please, he won't know and I won't tell if you don't tell."

Arthur smiled "okay, what names do you have?"

"Well…I was considering calling him after you…Amr..." she smiled at him innocently.

Arthur sighed, "What do you want."

Gwen sighed with him; she had hoped Arthur wouldn't be so quick tonight. "I think you're making a mistake about Morgana."

Arthur sighed and stood up, "Guinevere please, you don't know what you're talking about."

"You haven't even spoken with her."

"I don't have to I know her."

"You haven't known her for five years!"

"What difference does it make?"

"I thought the same, but then I met her and she's the same as when we knew her as a child. Arthur, you have to see her."

"Did Merlin put you up to this?"

"Maybe."

"He's her lover, the child's father!"

"I know."

"What if this is all a plan to trick us into helping her and then killing us all when she is free to become queen?"

"And what if she's not and you end up killing your half-sister and an innocent child?"

The man and woman glad at each other for about five seconds, Gwen crossed her arms at Arthur knowing she had the moral high ground. Arthur growled and once again and held his head in his hands, "fine, but I'm not going to let her get one up on me. You bring Merlin it's time we heard the truth from both of them."

~::~

Morgana sat at her chair in her cell. She held her head in her hands trying to think of a way out of her situation. She knew the only reason she was still breathing now was that the people of Camelot didn't know whether to kill her child or let be born and then kill her. She'd later sadistically laugh at how she (as the mother) was being protected by her unborn child instead of how it should be as the other way around.

A knock on the door made her quickly stand. Partly because she didn't want to be in a vulnerable position when the guards came in to question her and because no one had knocked the door before, this made her both wary and curious.

A hooded figure walked into the room, Morgana's hands clamped on a piece of metal she had been sharpening as a means of a weapon.

Arthur pulled back his hood.

Morgana slightly relaxed, but she was still cautious of soon to be king.

Gwen walked into the cell after him, her smile somehow comforting Morgana. She let go of the sharp piece of metal completely trusting Gwen.

Merlin pushed in after Gwen. As soon as he saw her ran up to Morgana and threw his arms around her. Morgana held him back, hearing Arthur and Gwen shift awkwardly on their feet not sure where to look.

Arthur was the first to snap. "Alright, alright break it up you two. I didn't bring you two together to become love birds. I have questions and I need answers now."

Merlin gave Arthur a hard look; he still had a crick in his neck thanks to Arthur's strangling session with him. But he soon let go of Morgana and walked to where Gwen beckoned him to.

Morgan slowly sat in her chair. After Uther's 'chat' she had been feeling more fragile.

Arthur sat opposite her. His frown made it clear that Gwen had pressured him into this. "How long have you been near Camelot?"

"I haven't. I lived a couple of hours away; Merlin only came once a month."

Arthur looked at Merlin, "I take it you are responsible."

Merlin nodded. "Yes."

Arthur looked back at Morgana "what was the plan?"

"Nothing. I had no plan. I kept my eyes shut kidding myself that I could cope. But I knew I couldn't."

"The plan was to go to Wales" Merlin chipped in.

"What as husband and wife? Brother and sister?"

"I don't know" Morgana repeated.

"Oh come on Morgana, I'd expect this from Merlin, but not from you. You have to plan ahead or else I can't help you!"

"I didn't want to plan" Morgana snapped getting onto her feet. "All my life I had had plans and they have all gone wrong. If I had no expectations I couldn't be disappointed. I didn't know whether it would live this long, let alone through infant and childhood."

"Arthur" Gwen snapped.

Arthur covered his eyes and composed himself. He then sat back down in his chair, he gestured for her to do the same. "I'm sorry" he apologised as she levelled herself into the small chair.

"If you came here to say you hated me then you needn't have bothered" Morgana smirked at Arthur.

"Morgana" Arthur growled "I have not come here to damn you." His face sobered a little "I came to help you" he looked at Merlin "both of you."

Merlin smiled his cheery smile "great! What's the plan?"

"Typical Merlin, you need orders to complete your own escape" Arthur rolled his eyes.

"What Arthur means to say is that we have a plan" Gwen chipped in once again perching on the bed.

Arthur nodded. "Let's make one thing clear. This meeting never happened. The people of Camelot want you dead, there's nothing I can do about that, not so early into my rein. I cannot be associated with this escape. Anyway, we're running out of time as it is, you're child's trail is a couple of days away, and you look like you're about to burst, so it has to be tonight.

At midnight tonight, the guards will be drawn away from your part of the castle; I will drug Gawain's drink to make him more drunk and rowdy than usual."

"That doesn't sound like a great diversion" Morgana broke in.

"It is if you know Gawain. Anyway:

Merlin will be outside the walls waiting for you, I'm afraid I've told my knights about your secret Merlin, so you cannot be anywhere near her cell to help her. Gwen will be with me in our bedroom (I cannot allow even her to be seen by the people helping you). Morgana can you break out of this cell alone?"

Morgana looked around her small bricked cell. If she used her magic…It could be dangerous for the baby for her to lose her control like this, but it seemed like she had no choice. She nodded at Arthur.

Merlin stood "She can't get out on her own. What if the guards around her cell stay?"

"I won't be exactly walking out the front door Merlin" Morgana reasoned with his calmly.

"Arthur, surely there must be some other way?" Merlin asked.

"I'm sorry no" Arthur apologised.

"I can do this Merlin" Morgana smiled at him, though she didn't know who she was kidding.

~::~

Midnight struck.

Nine, ten, eleven…Twelve chimes rang through the city.

Only the guards seemed to be awake patrolling the streets.

Morgana sat in her cell. She had hoped she had counted the chimes wrong.

But slowly she stood up and walked to the wall. If Arthur was correct, all the guards had been driven to Gawain's diversion. She knew it was a leap of faith now, and if they were a percentage out, she will be sorry.

She placed her ear against the blocks. Listening. She heard nothing but the banging in her heard. Now or never. She pressed the palm of her hand against the wall, her eyes closed and her body relaxed before she opened her eyes and hissed:

"Diflannu ac yn toddy!"

The effects were immediate. Her hand felted into the bricks almost liquefied to its original clay content. Her hand melted until it was up to her wrist, she slowly moved her hand around in a perfect circle. Sweat broke out on her forehead; she gritted her teeth and carried on the spell. At last the circle was complete. She punched it hard with her fist causing it to implode and leave a big enough hole for her to jump through.

She unwisely rested on her chair, her body pulsed and her stomach ached like the baby inside her had expanded to the extent her skin felt tight.

She didn't know how long she sat there panting like a fat cow, but it felt too soon that she heard a shriek and a cry of:

"ESCAPE! ESCAPE!"

Ready or not, Morgana jumped through the hole and bounded down the streets. It wasn't a guard who had seen her escape attempt but a youngish woman who happened to be passing. She was wailing now like a siren and it took all of Morgana not to knock her out she was making so much noise. It wouldn't have made any difference anyway; all the men of the village had heard and now were after her.

She ran and ran. Her legs feeling like two stick matches trying to carry her egg like stomach. People were coming out of wood work trying to catch her. She dodged and stumbled out of their reach. She ran for the gates, people clawing out of at her hair, and snapping at her feet.

She felt a hand grab her back and pull her into the clearing. Merlin held her against him as the knights, guards and villagers create an angry mob and charge into the woods. They were silent as the men charged and searched the trees for her.

"Are you alright?" Merlin asked concerned trying to steady Morgana to see her face.

Morgana shook her head breathless, she meant it too, the magic may have un-stabilised her, but the running had all but killed her. Her legs felt like jelly and the pain in her stomach was making her double up.

Merlin looked around; the woods seemed alive with voices and fire. The clearing wouldn't keep them hidden for long. He had to move her; she seemed to be getting her breath back. He took a deep breath, closed his eyes and grabbed her wrist.

They were off, Morgana felt like her legs had completely been severed off and now she was using crude wooden legs. Her eyes could barely keep open. They ran and ran, dodging trees, logs, rocks and roots using the shadows to hide themselves. She felt herself trip and fall onto the ground flat on her front.

Merlin stopped and tried to pull her up. She wasn't getting up. She felt herself throw up; though her throat was so raw she couldn't feel anything let alone breathe. He looked around panicking; they couldn't stay for long in one place. He saw lights on the horizon. They were coming.

He pulled her up, though she nearly slipped from his grasp. "Morgana, I have to drive them away."

"No" she gasped.

"Yes, I have to do something" he looked around; he saw a tree sitting perfectly on a hill. Memories flashed to when she and he played under that tree. "Do you see that tree?"

She turned her eyes filled with tears, she couldn't speak but she nodded.

"Try to get there. I will get there when I can."

She shook her head hopelessly.

He gripped her hand in his. "Try Morgana. Please for me try."

She found herself nodding.

Merlin smiled at her. He kissed her forehead and then ran away.

"I love you" she called after him. That was the first and the last time she admitted that to him.

~::~

(And now we've come full circle!)

_Morgana ran through the long grass her raggedy dress catching on various twigs, rocks, mud and teeth the swamp provided._

_Her white wrists that once held only the thin metal of bangles and bracelets, where now wrapped around chunky rusty chains that had been cut loose._

_Her long beautiful hair once ebony brushed until it shone was now dirty wet covered in mud and leaves. Her bare feet squished in the mud she had to get away._

_She had to get away._

_A stitch was growling in her stomach, her breath was rubbing her throat and longs dry and her feet where creaking with every stride._

_But that didn't stop the anger and the determination in her heart. The need for love and safety in her frantic mind._

_But there was one more feeling._

_A feeling that could call her angers fire. That could smooth her determination flat. It would enflame her need for safety until it was ashes. It would even wash away the love bites that she had acquired three days ago from the love her life into nothing._

_What is this feeling? I hear you ask._

_This feeling I hope you will never meet or feel:_

_Fear…_

_Or Uther as Morgana now calls it…_

_She closed her eyes tears running down her face as she carried on running._

_The barks of dogs where snapping at her ears and feet._

_The torch light was following like her sun that was setting. Fast._

_She then tripped she let out a wail as she fell, she tried with every fibre of her being to rise again. But her legs had given up._

_She laid down on her front her ankle twisted. She looked up and saw the lights of Camelot in the distance._

_Home._

_She let out a shriek of frustration, despair and sorrow._

_She heard the feet of the men she feared most running towards her with swords, arrows, whips and many other cruel devises she had encountered._

_She laid her head down on the week mud and grass her eye's tears falling slowly._

_She had been so close._

_She had nearly escaped._

_She had nearly been free._

_Free from…_

_The Prophecy _

_She breathed out through her mouth chocking on grass, water and her sorrow._

_'I'm sorry Merlin' was all she could think and mouth as the demons (in men and dog form) where inches from her._

_'I'm Sorry Merlin. I'm So Sorry."_

_She was carried into the huge out of order windmill, the roof leaked, and the light leaked from a small flame of a tiny candle. The old woman who had found her on the field had carried her into a windmill, maybe she knew of the woman's identity and the infamous rumours about her. Or maybe her clouded beady eyes had seen their last spark._

_The witch stirred awake and forced herself into a sitting up position, her enormous belly prevented her from obtaining the respect and fear from the old crone who sat a few meters from her. She at last flopped down exhausted; her body was still pulsing from her race with fate._

_She looked at the old crone once again. The old woman seemed to be in her later years of fifty, her face was like an the old prune she was, her long stringy grey hair reminded her of Giaus', she held none of Giaus' kindness in her huge body of fat and flesh, she looked more like a vulture. The witch sighed looking to the leaky ceiling; she had been saved because of her raggedy dress and faded jewels._

_Had England stooped so low that old women would wait for the death of a heavily pregnant woman and her unborn child, so she could get her fat hands on her dress and money? She tutted to herself: of course it had, the great Uther Pendragon was still on the thrown and as his day of death grew closer his mind became more irrational._

_A small contraction brought her back to her senses she tried to get up. Meeting place. Large tree. Meet Merlin. Have baby. Run away. A small bead of sweat went down her forehead as she tried to push her massive bulk into commanding her orders. She fell down with a growl of frustration. Her body was no longer hers. It was ruled by another now._

_The old crow let out a small cackle, at the witch's troubles, "well, well, well, Morgana Le Fey, ye seem to be in a spot of bother._

_Morgana turned her head around to look at the woman, only one know referred to her as Morgana. At the most time she was called "witch", "bitch", "criminal", "abomination"…"Evil" .Another contraction went through her but alike from the other one there was no pain. She didn't feel pain unless she could retaliate forth with._

_"I wonder if your body has any notion to do something as natural as giving birth."_

_Morgana again gave the old woman silence._

_"What's the matter? Cat got ye tongue? Or has junior over their got ye-"_

_"My voice works quite fine. Thank you." She managed to say in a monotone, refusing to let this woman dare to get the upper hand with her._

_The woman let out her second toothy laugh. "Why those men out looking for ye?"_

_Morgana looked out of the shattered window and gasped: they were still looking for her, and the sun had well and truly set. She had to go. Find Merlin. Not get caught. Not now. Not here…_

_She managed to swing herself off of the bed; she was a few feet away from the door when her waters finally broke. Damn it all! Why did this baby have its mother's bad timing?_

_She pressed her back against the wall breathing hard, trying to get her composure back. She tried again to move but her joints were suck, she couldn't move. She felt something take her arm and try to take her back to the bed. She wrenched her arm away. She would not get help from this old bag, especially not in this state._

_"What's the hurry? We have plenty of time until someone finds us."_

_"Yes but who? It all depends on whom" the witch murmured through gritted teeth as she collapsed onto the bed, it was the only thing she could do._

_"Well I take it you don't want that lot outside getting your hands on your flesh. And you defiantly don't want mine. So whose? The father of that wee child?"_

_Morgana looked away._

_"A brother? A sister? Or a good relative to stick their thumb out to find you?"_

_Morgana didn't turn._

_"I would say a friend, but. You. Don't. Have. Friends. Do ye?"_

_Morgana looked away "someone is coming. For me."_

_"And the babe?"_

_"Yes."_

_Morgana looked out the window. The old crone seemed to have fallen asleep. Good she wanted some privacy. She felt a small wave of despair. She had hoped and prayed this would be the last time she'd be with Merlin before…._

_She looked down a little depressed. What was she to do…? Cry? Witches did not cry._

_She looked down a little to her gut. It was bigger than ever, she sighed a little. What could she do? She couldn't run away, she couldn't stay here. It was like she was a prisoner without the chain._

_The sounds of footsteps where coming down the hill. Not that loud. A few meters away. Her acute sense of hearing could pick these things up. Something wicked this way comes._

_The old crone hadn't awoken yet. The dead couldn't wake her up._

_Morgana reached over and snuffed out the candle._

_That would give her an hour or two._

_That would be for her to get out and the baby._

_She gritted he teeth as another contraction came on._

_She didn't have much time left…_

_Morgana let out a scream her body pulsing as another contraction went through her. She shook her head clammy and her hair stuck to her head. She stared straight ahead. As her body began to shake, her sight was starting to play tricks with her. The old woman in front of her looked strangely familiar. Her black eyes were ones resembling one curiously to that of another she had once known._

_The eyes looked right through her green ones. And just a small flash went over the woman's face. It was like a small mask came off of the woman's eyes and face, it was a young one._

_They old woman was waiting. Waiting patiently for the witch to figure it out…Morgana looked away, she felt like she had been kicked (figuratively) in the chest and a huge hole had been punched in._

_Morgana didn't want to think though she didn't want to fight. For the first time in her life she didn't want to fight it: her destiny._

_Morgana lay on her back; she looked straight at the woman. She knew who she was. Her mind was so full of hate for everyone. Uther for making her run away in the first place, Arthur for being Arthur, Gwen for taking her place on the throne, even Merlin because he was the one who was putting her through all of this pain. And one other, the one who had started it all. Her worst enemy was sitting right in front of her._

_"Morgause" she murmured wanting to get this over with._

_The woman let out a cackle before stepping out of her enchantment to show her true form. The witch had aged considerably from her nineteen year old memory, she still had her piercing eyes and fiery hair, yet she was older and a lot weaker than before the pains of age must always follow._

_The two witches stared at each other, until Morgause couldn't keep her straight face any longer and let out a cackle._

_"I knew you couldn't keep your mouth shut for much longer sister."_

_"You know very well that we have no such relationship."_

_"Oh by future and by the stars we are."_

_"Of all the people to find me tonight."_

_"It was no chance sister, my magic is not so dull…I know about the child."_

_"I would never have guessed if I had your eyes."_

_Morgause only laughed._

_"Why the disguise?"_

_"Fun."_

_"No you just don't want Uther or Merlin to find you."_

_"Don't flatter me on my behalf."_

_Morgana rolled her eyes eight years of freedom and she had almost forgotten her teasing. Almost. She decided to get to the point. "Why are you here?" she snapped (as best she could) through gritted teeth as another contraction wavered through._

_"I've come to restore what damage you have done to our future rein."_

_Morgana growled slightly for the moment beyond speech._

_"I take it you know what I mean. You know what I have to do."_

_Morgana sat up and stood rocking slightly clinging to the bed post. She felt a sudden anger and protection run through her veins. She held her palms out ready for defence._

_"Come on and try you crack brain slave driving witch" she snapped her eyes turning red slightly._

_"I will try to save you at least."_

_"Don't bother."_

_"Oh I will with every ounce of my being I will try. You can count on that at least."_

_The woman squared themselves up, Morgana took off her clock and hood, as Morgause tightened her dress's sash._

_'Any time Merlin. Any time' Morgana thought desperately._

_As Morgause pounced at her._

_Morgana ducked just in the nick of time._

_She had five minutes._

_Tops…_

~::~

He stood waiting. The tree was huge and hollow; he had been waiting for so long. Something bad had happened to her. He knew it. But he was too scared to move. He had tried to drive the villagers away but there was too many. Some obviously didn't see him and carried on after her.

A hut stood on the bank of the hill. Was she there? Something inside him said: Yes.

Merlin ran down the hill towards the hut on the edge of nowhere. His feet glided down the mud and his balance kept despite the slick mud which on any other night would have tripped him up.

He ran into the hut. He stopped in the doorway. A hooded figure lay crumpled and lifeless on the floor. Beside their body was wrapped a tiny bundle.

No…Please… 

Merlin entered. He went to the woman first. He pulled the hood back. He was half relieved half saddened by the lifeless body of Morgause. If Morgana had been here, she had sent her packing. Good riddance.

He slowly turned to the bundle. He recognised the cape as Morgana's.

No…Please…

He pulled the cape back.

His hands shook.

A tiny baby lay there.

It was silent…

It wasn't breathing…

Merlin let out a wail that filled the air with anger, sorrow, frustration and raw pain. He held his head in his hands, his fingers tangling and ripping at his hair. His eyes bled tears which dribbled down his cheeks and chins. Even his snot and drool seemed to bleed from his inner pain.

His hands shakily held the tiny baby in his too hands. He didn't know whether it was all Morgana's fault or Morgauses' fault, or Morgana abandoned her baby to be killed. He didn't know anything anymore.

The baby was a little girl…Merlin felt another stab of pity for Morgana, the gender made her all the more real. Tears continued to fall like rain on the baby's face.

It seemed to melt in his hands like wax. Its once stiff body was now softening. Merlin opened his eyes to see if the poor babe wasn't really melting in his hands. His eyes filled with hope as he saw his daughter do her first kick. She was stiff. Stiff as a rusty nail, but she was doing it.

He pulled the baby into his arms; the tiny creature was nearly lost in his sleeves. She wriggled and squirmed in his grip and yet Merlin did not relax until he heard the thing he wanted to hear most of all.

Please…Oh please…

His daughter let out her first cry. Merlin cried tears of joy as the baby began to wriggle and squeak as she began to warm with the heat of life. Merlin didn't know how he was doing this. But all he knew was he couldn't stop it.

He stood holding her in the moonlight. Her pitch black hair reminded him of his and Morgana's hair. Her eyes shone emerald green just like her mother. And her feet held the same qualities of Merlin's mother's and brother's. He let out a laugh of joy as she continued crying.

He ran out into the fields. Looking for Morgana. He imagined her tripping through the mud her hair tangled.

A clash of thunder woke him up. He shivered holding his baby in his arms. His eyes darted down to be sure that she was still alive and it wasn't his delusions which had rendered her living…But still she lived crying and screaming to be let out of the cold.

He stared over the hills for Morgana. Was that her? A dark figure walking through the rain? Or a trick of the light brought on by the rain?

"MORGANA!" he called.

Did she hear him? Or did she not? Would it matter if she did? Would she come?

He knew she probably blamed herself.

"MORGANA!" he called again.

Nothing.

The baby screamed through the howl of the wind. He had to get her inside. He knew he couldn't save her second time. He just knew it. He went to walk away.

He turned one last time: "MORGANA!" he shouted, he listened.

Nothing. Tears once again prickled his eyes. And for the first time he was torn. Morgana or his daughter?

He turned and walked towards Camelot. He held his daughter, still wrapped up in Morgana's cape, through the whistling wind and the rain. He turned to see if the witch was there at all.

And she wasn't.

She was gone again from his life.

~::~

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Yes, yes, I know I'm a bit late. But I added another part just to soften you lot up. I doubt anyone will read this now until after Christmas, but whatever. Thanks for reading!


	25. Part Four: ?

Evil

Part Four: ?

_Why Merlin? Why?_

She walked through the slippery rain and mud, her mind was swerving so violently she didn't know why was which, her clothes were covered in blood and mud.

She slipped and skidded through it all, her legs could barely walk in a straight line let alone keep their balance in this weather.

_Why Merlin? Why?_

She thought over and over again. Tears had mixed in the heavy rain, so she couldn't tell whether she was still crying or not.

She had to walk as far as possible tonight, she knew about giving birth, her third stage of labour will be upon her soon and she knew after which she would have the stamina of mind or strength to keep moving.

She couldn't feel her hands because of the cold. Not that she wanted to. These hands killed her child, she never wanted to see them again. One touch and then it was all over.

She felt a wail come from her lips, a vast and distressing howl which sounded closer to a dog than to a human. Still she did not care and carried on.

She will never come back. She did not know where she was going but something will be provided for her, she had been going against the tide for so long she had forgotten how good it felt to simply go with the flow.

_Why Merlin? Why?_

She was a shadow in the night. No one will know she was there or here; she will slink through the world on her own, a shadow of a person who once was. She will not be good. She will not be bad. She will be nothing. A shadow in the night. This was a promise and she always kept her promises.

Her head looked through her tangled hair to look defiantly at the bleak black sky.

She will not fight she will not concede. She didn't care anymore, if she had her way she would be dead by now. No she would have died four years ago. But the fact of the matter was that that was an impossible dream. Fine. She will do her time. She will pay the price of an imaginary crime. She will wait until she is 200 until she could die. One way or another, with every step that she took, she was one step further to eternal rest. And that's all she ever wanted. To be left alone.

To be left alone.

So, as she walked through the grass and the shadows, she felt slightly contented (in the midst of utter wretchedness).

Suffering was not forever. How could it be? It could be packaged up and branded away to different people but they only had it for a relatively short while, then it was passed on and on, but never forever. Like a shadow in the night it would hide and slink through trees and houses causing devastation, but it would always leave for happiness to come.

And she had that happiness, she had had it for what felt like a short time but…those memories would last forever. She will forever look back on the days of hope she had for her new life, her new family. And as she saw the various days of suffering before her, like a shadow in the night, the memories will be always there in the background. Just waiting to shine a little light on her grief and to give her hope: I can get through this.

_I can get through this Merlin._

She felt another wail ripple through her throat again, her head felt something and her body felt another. She walked through the rain, which showed no sign of stopping. She saw on the horizon an orange shapeless light, she didn't know what it was or whether it was safe or not. But she knew she had to follow it. She had to survive somehow, and that meant carry on her journey which was usually conceived will her falling across something.

She walked in the direction of the tiny light, it meant warmth it meant food, it meant danger. But didn't everything in her life?

_Stay with me Merlin. Stay with me._

The rest was silence.

She began to walk boldly in the direction of the light. She walked into the horizon and the mist which had gathered around her. And like a Shadow in the Night. She disappeared from view altogether.

And there was no more.

~::~

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	26. Epilogue

Evil

Okay, I was truly just going to leave it like how I ended it, but as my sister read through it she told me it wasn't fair on the characters, me or you lot if I had left it like it was. And to be honest I'm kind of glad I've got an excuse to write a happy ending for this pair. Okay, I can't exactly wave a magic wand and wipe away the last ten years of sadness off of them all (though I'm sure if I did I'd get to next to no complaints), in the words of Stephen King: "It doesn't have to be realistic, but it does have to be fair." And I hope that you, my readers, will find this final instalment fair. Thanks for reading ^^.

Epilogue

8 Years Later.

At last the seasons of rainfall was over. The great oak which Morgana, Merlin, Gwen and Arthur had once played around had been cut down. Many of the trees had been cut, even the one where Merlin had told Morgana to meet him.

Morgana Le Fey made her way through long grass, the moon shone through the dark grey clouds above her. Not that Morgana knew, her right eye was now completely blind and her right knee had developed bad arthritis in it making it hard to walk.

She had been moving around the land for a long time now, only recently she had regained her independence from one cage or another. Her love life had been something quite peculiar. From king to peasant she had had them all. True, eight was nothing to brag about, but every year she allowed herself to be captured and every year she had made her conquest on their souls. She didn't love them; part of her couldn't believe the transition from her refusing to even think of using men like that to what she could do today. Once or twice she did accidently call out Merlin's name…That usually resulted in getting a black eye from one of her lovers…Once one of them even broke her arm, she had the marks to prove it...

She didn't know why she did it. She couldn't get pregnant it seemed that option would never apply to her again. It wasn't like she wanted to get pregnant. Maybe she wanted to fill the big hole that was forever inside her now.

She moved through the snow doused grass. She moved through the night and slept in the day. That was just the way she did it. Maybe she did it because psychologically she could not take the light in her dark filled life. Or maybe because she feared that if she was seen in the daylight by one of her more violent lovers she will not be able to walk again. Not that her step and limp was much of a stride.

It exhausted her to walk, usually she'd steal a horse and run it into the ground before selling it for coins to eat proper food (not the roots she normally was not proper food). This time however she had to make a quick exit, while the oaf slept. This was mainly because he had gone into the more violent categories and had promised to kill her. This was after she had said Merlin's name. But it was before she put a powerful sleeping spell. She couldn't steal from him because he was one of the king's advisors, and the last thing she wanted right now was another pissed off lost lover having another reason to break her legs.

She shuffled through the snow, her mind so full of tricks and cunning she did not realise where she was. It was only when she half tripped half fell down a ravine that brought her out of her plans that she finally recognised the clearing and the trees which had made up the lines and foundation of her childhood. She sat up slowly, a couple of trees had been removed and even more had been planted, but on her one good eye she knew the smells and the voices which associated with the clearing.

She couldn't stay here. She had to leave; she couldn't bear staying here ever again. Yet she was tired, and she needed the safety of Arthur's borders, so beggars could not be choosers. Besides, she was tired.

She slowly clambered onto a lower tree branch to finally sleep. Her arthritis might have been painful in her one leg, but she could climb a tree blind folded for the entire practise she had acquired. Higher and higher she climbed, until she was totally submerged with leaves and twigs. It was amazing, her legs and eyes were being taken away from her, even though she hadn't ever abused them, and yet her back which she had abused quite severely, sleeping on branches, rocks, stone floors, hard bed boards, and yet she had so far had no repercussions of such neglect.

She settled, and then she slept.

~::~

The three parents walked in the long golden grass, the children ran around in front playing knights and damsels. It was noon. King Arthur had had a long week of reports and an invasion scare from one of his rival's threat of invasion, Queen Guinevere had managed to coax him out of his war room and to go with a walk with her and Merlin.

There was four children in total, two were the royal princes that belonged to King Arthur and Queen Guinevere, Amr the eldest, who was nine years old and thought that meant he was liable for knight hood; Llacheu, who was six and the angel of the family, his long golden curls meant he was the prettiest and most popular of the princes. There would be another soon for Gwen was now pregnant with another child, she had begged Merlin to tell her what gender her child would be, and was overjoyed when Merlin confirmed that the child would indeed be a girl. She hadn't told Arthur but was already thinking over names for her new daughter: Melora? Hilde?

Mordred walked a couple of steps behind the procession of children, being thirteen he thought he was far too grand to be playing with them. He was to do his first joust at Christmas, which worried Gwen no end, Arthur and Merlin promised her that they'd look after him, but understandably she did not trust their promises. It wasn't just the danger of the tournament that worried her, but that Mordred was unpopular to the people. Arthur had adopted him five years ago, when Mordred was found shivering near death in the woods, this lead to serious complications to who was to succeed Arthur after he was gone, whether it was the legitimate younger boy, or the older mysterious bastard. Arthur always pushed the question away from him distancing himself from it. It was obvious what he needed to say: Amr was to be the next king of Camelot, but he felt such love for Mordred that when he and Amr promised each other they'd share the crown between themselves, he could do nothing but feel sadness for the evident day when the promise would be broken. Merlin understandably kept a close eye on Mordred, making sure the boy always knew that he had always 'uncle Merlin' to talk to in times of need, Merlin knew the signs of ambition in Mordred and was wary the boy might go down the same road as previous lives had once done.

Finally the only girl ran ahead of them all, her shining black hair matched her fathers, her green eyes taunted friends as they could not catch up to her. Many looked at her and Mordred and asked Merlin whether Mordred's was his too, they both looked so alike. Her feet where bear in the long muddy grass, and even her taunts provoked Mordred to react and try and catch her. She led them into the woods cackling to herself as the boys called her name behind her: Nimue. Nimue! _Nimue!_

~::~

Morgana opened her eyes as she heard screams and shouts under her tree branch. Her eyes opened lazily in the bright evening light. She closed them again as the thick orange and red and gold and pick light nearly blinded her. She tried to catch sleep again, but this was impossible as the shouting voices was right under her.

"What do you Amr I can't be a knight?" asked a girl's voice indignantly.

"Because Nimue, only boys can be knights, girls are damsels" sneered a boy's voice with six year old logic.

Morgana smiled and sat up, rarely she would think back to her child hood, but now it was almost as if she was looking into a mirror.

"I can still be a knight better than you! Llacheu can barely raise a stick let alone a long sword, and you Amr run away at the first sign of danger!"

"It was an invasion; it wasn't my fault I ran for cover."

"It was horse who had lost his rider Amr" the girl shot stubbornly.

"Well," spoke a boy who sounded older than the rest "I'm going to be a knight for real, and I'll be able to joust by Christmas. Amr's my brother to the crown so he has to be by my side and Llacheu can't possibly be bait for a dragon he'll cry to mother again, and land all of us in trouble."

"I'll go then and run to father" the girl sniffed preparing the water works.

"Your father is nothing but a servant, what can he do?"

"He's a powerful sorcerer, and can turn you all into toads-"

"Yeah right, like magic is real."

Morgana had had enough of their squabbling; she needed her rest if she had to venture out Arthur's borders tonight. Slowly she stood and jumped to the ground in front of the children, startling them. "Magic is very real" she commented standing tall above them.

The four stood motionless for a while staring at the woman before them, too in awe to speak. They all got the idea to run at the exact moment and made for the trees.

Morgana stood for a while watching them go. 'They seem nice children' she thought to herself walking up a rocky cliff, 'the boys though are a bit simple. The girl I like, maybe I'll see her again, when she's older. The boys don't seem too bad, Arthur was like that'.

Morgana sat on the hill her head in her arms, the bright sunshine was setting making the colours more intense, she thought of her childhood, adolescence and adulthood, the days when she just forgot all her problems and became embellished with the moment and the beauty that surrounded her. She sat thinking for a couple of minutes considering her life and what she will do with herself. She was before a shadow in the night, lost in the darkness, but as she sat in the sun light feeling perfectly content, she felt like she was becoming more human, and had the strength the carry on. She was a person. Not a witch. Not a victor. Not a victim. But a person. And she was perfectly content with that.

She let out a sigh, feeling a knot which had been growing inside her loosen. She then stood and continued to climb the hill.

~::~

The children ran out to the adults screaming. Gwen bent down to hug her sons (as best she could), even cold Mordred allowed himself to be held for five seconds before pushing away. Arthur asked them hurriedly what was wrong; worried they had seen an invasion or something of that nature. Merlin hugged his daughter, who was the only one to remain silent after the children started talking all at once.

The boys all talked at once saying they had seen a woman, a witch, a monster, and she, it, told them, threatened them, shouted at them, she was magic. She had black hair, knotted, curly, straight and green eyes, slits, snakes, before walking, running, slinking, away.

Merlin was silent for a moment. He caught Gwen's eye who nodded to him. His head banged in his throat as he considered the impossible. Was she-

Could she-

Would she-

Morgana…Was she here?

He asked Gwen to look after his daughter before walking, then running into the trees.

~::~

Morgana made it to the top of the hill. The sun light was strong as ever, she looked at the trees in front of her to see which made a suitable bed to sleep in. Her mind was absent, thinking again and again to the children which plagued her mind, trying to remember who exactly they looked like.

She heard a snap behind her. She turned.

He was at the bottom of the hill.

Both stared at each other.

She took a step back. She didn't know whether to cry or to laugh. She was so shocked she doubted she could manage either.

He stared up at her, she looked older, but no less beautiful to him. His smile could not be whipped from his lips. He did cry, bowing his head to her, to say hello and preserve his dignity a little longer.

She bent her head to him too, to return the greeting and to hide her smile. She hardly expect something so formal, so respective compared to the way they had conducted themselves eight years ago.

They were still for a moment, until slowly (very slowly you must understand) they walked towards each other.

The sun blazed out for them as if to congratulate their resilience. And so another chapter started for the two of them, and as the light as their witness. This was going to be different.

Very different indeed.

And they dreamed a whole new Golden World all together…

THE END.

Thank you to my reviewers and readers out there who kept me going through this story. To my sister who believed in this when no one else would (even to read it through 4 times each time as I rewrote the damn thing)!

4 redrafts and constant updates, FINALLY this project is done! I've never spent so much time on such a big project! 8 months effort and I'm happy to say that this is as close to perfect as I've got (I'll probably think differently in a couple of years' time but what can you do?)

Thank you again my reviewers and readers, I hope I see you soon!


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